x cutoutkid (8:24:26 PM): -standing outside waiting to be let into the arena?-
x cutoutkid (8:25:03 PM): -standing next to you and a little in front of you, practically bouncing in my spot-
poisonbitterswt (8:25:30 PM): you know, they might not let you in if they think you're hyped on drugs *laughs*
x cutoutkid (8:26:02 PM): nu uh... theyll definently let me in... the drugged up ones are the life of the party...
x cutoutkid (8:26:56 PM): -grins and puts my hands in my pockets-
poisonbitterswt (8:29:11 PM): *shakes head, fiddling with the pass around my neck, and licking over my lips* if you say so....*small smile on my face*
x cutoutkid (8:30:07 PM): -hums holiday to myself, looking around- goddamn...i wish the doors would open alreadyyyy
poisonbitterswt (8:34:17 PM): *glint in eyes* the back doors are already open....
poisonbitterswt (8:34:23 PM): *whistles and looks upward*
x cutoutkid (8:34:38 PM): -grins, tugging your arm- then what're we waiting for?
poisonbitterswt (8:34:48 PM): i was waiting for you to beg a little...
x cutoutkid (8:35:19 PM): -pouts- pleasssseee? -looking up at you a little under my eyelashes-
poisonbitterswt (8:37:36 PM): *rolls eyes* all right...*glances around to make sure no one's watching us, before tugging you around the building to the back area-sees a security guard and gives him a high five, before showing him my pass and he opens the door with a grin and a nod to you*
x cutoutkid (8:38:58 PM): -follows you with a little look of astonishment, whispering- how the bloody hell did you get... like... VIP? -excited, not trying at all to hide it-
poisonbitterswt (8:40:18 PM): I had the pleasure of meeting them at a concert in London a few years ago...even went onstage and played guitar for a song...and after that...well....here we are, need I say more? *smiles, but not trying to be arrogant, as giddy as you are about this*
x cutoutkid (8:42:11 PM): and you told me! -hits your arm playfully, a big grin on my face-
x cutoutkid (8:43:19 PM): never told me-
poisonbitterswt (8:43:48 PM): well.....we weren't quite on speaking terms then....but yeah....i could've said something earlier...i just dont brag....
x cutoutkid (8:44:40 PM): uh huh... sure... -looks up at you then around at me, so excited i could die-
poisonbitterswt (8:45:25 PM): you know i don't...*kicks at you playfully*
x cutoutkid (8:48:57 PM): -laughs- so, where... are we going...-looks around excitedly, not really sure of whats going on because i never met anyone before-
poisonbitterswt (8:49:17 PM): see that door there? *points to the end of the hall, last door on the left*
x cutoutkid (8:49:36 PM): -looks and nods my head enthusiastically-
poisonbitterswt signed off at 8:50:48 PM.
poisonbitterswt (1:57:45 AM): what if i told you that billy joe, mike, and tre were waiting right behind there?
x cutoutkid (1:58:33 AM): i'd tell you that you better fucking show me before i start humping your leg
poisonbitterswt (1:59:36 AM): and humping my leg would make me not wanna show you? *laughs*
x cutoutkid (2:00:30 AM): -pouts out my bottom lip- nixxx...c'mon! you know i've wanted to meet billie joe since before DOOKIE
poisonbitterswt (2:03:01 AM): oh all right...stop whining...*chuckles, tugging your hand and leading you down the hall to the door* you promise you wont embarrass me? *looks over at you, eyes twinkling*
x cutoutkid (2:03:19 AM): i promise nothing...
x cutoutkid (2:03:37 AM): i can't help it if billie joe likes me humping his leg...and you know he would...
poisonbitterswt (2:05:38 AM): *shakes my head, rolling my eyes* fair enough....*twists doorknob and pushes door open, ushering you inside as the guys of GD look up from the couch they're all loungin on*
x cutoutkid (2:06:20 AM): -stops like whoa deadin my tracks-
poisonbitterswt (2:06:48 AM): *peeks at you out of the corner of my eyes* as you guys can tell, this is my friend caiden. Caiden, say hello
poisonbitterswt (2:07:01 AM): *nudges you*
x cutoutkid (2:07:17 AM): h-hello...-meekly-
poisonbitterswt (2:07:59 AM): Billie Joe: *stands up and comes over to me* what's up fucker? *pulls me into an embrace, kissing me heatedly*
x cutoutkid (2:08:26 AM): -thinks he just about died of shock, mouth dropping-
poisonbitterswt (2:09:05 AM): *when we pull apart we are both laughing* you've gotten better since last time, been practicing?
poisonbitterswt (2:09:51 AM): Billie Joe: as much as possible *glances at you* hey there, i think you're drooling *reaches out and wipes at the corner of your mouth* -the other guys laughing on the couch-
x cutoutkid (2:10:17 AM): -closes my mouth- hell yeah i'm drooling, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?
x cutoutkid (2:10:27 AM): -blushes a little, mentally slapping myself-
poisonbitterswt (2:11:03 AM): *lets out a loud laugh, shaking my head a bit* i told you he was a big fan, didn't i?
poisonbitterswt (2:11:15 AM): Billie Joe: *winks at you*
poisonbitterswt (2:11:26 AM): yeah, yeah you did....
poisonbitterswt (2:11:56 AM): Billie Joe: *slings an arm around your shoulder* so, you kiss this nut too?
x cutoutkid (2:14:13 AM): me? -smirks and looks at phoenix- yeah, you could say that
poisonbitterswt (2:15:16 AM): Billie Joe: he's a good kisser, isnt he? *wriggles eyebrows at me* -i laugh, shrugging- can't help it that im irresistable *plop down next to tre and take the beer he offers me*
x cutoutkid (2:16:23 AM): he's good at a lot of things...-grins, watching you-
poisonbitterswt (2:18:22 AM): *takes a sip from my beer, smiling at you, eyes glimmering* Billie Joe:im sure he is....but what about you....*grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss*
x cutoutkid (2:20:01 AM): -kisses back out of reflex, then in the back of my head thinking "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" as i move my mouth against his, flicking my tounge out just a little across his bottom lip-
poisonbitterswt (2:22:24 AM): *feel myself harden just a little, sucking on the rim of the beer bottle as you two kiss* Billie Joe: *smiles against your lips, twisting tongue over yours and sucking at it a bit, as his hand goes down to your hip and pushes you against him*
x cutoutkid (2:24:09 AM): -lets out a small wimper at the contact, hands sliding down to his ass and grinding against him just a little, thinking that i hope you're enjoying the show-
poisonbitterswt (2:26:53 AM): Billie Joe: *whispers against your ear when he pulls his lips from yours* i've heard...you're a big fan...wanna show me...how much?
x cutoutkid (2:27:55 AM): -whispers right back- i'd love...to show you...-squeezes your ass in my hands- just how much a fan i am...
poisonbitterswt (2:28:42 AM): Billie Joe: *grins-talking over his shoulder* we'll be right back. I'm gonna show caiden around
poisonbitterswt (2:29:36 AM): *grins at the two of you like a mad fool, knowing exactly what "showing around" means...thinking of a few years back and winking over at tre and mike, who are both trying not to laugh as they watch tv and drink*
x cutoutkid (2:30:14 AM): -smirks at you as i follow him out of the room, already achingly hard-
poisonbitterswt (2:32:52 AM): Billie Joe: *leads you to a room a few doors down, shoving open the door and plopping down on a couch, staring at you with a smirk on his face*
x cutoutkid (2:34:27 AM): -shuts the door behind me, not bothering with being coy as i come over to you, straddling you and bringing my hands to the side of your face, lips moving feverishly against you-
poisonbitterswt (2:35:15 AM): *hands gravitate to your hips as he thrusts tongue into your mouth, twisting it over yours*
x cutoutkid (2:36:42 AM): -brings my hands down your sides to the zipper of your pants, making quick work of it and sliding them off your hips-
poisonbitterswt (2:37:31 AM): *smiles up at you, pushing hips upward a bit, feeling your hardon against my thigh*
x cutoutkid (2:39:01 AM): -lifts hips up a little, licking over my bottom lip as i look at you, staring you down and memorizing you as i get both your boxers and pants completly down to your ankles-
poisonbitterswt (2:40:21 AM): *suck on my bottom lip, eyes boring into yours, grinding up against you a bit, palming up your thighs*
x cutoutkid (2:41:34 AM): -feels shivers run through me as i lean forward, whispering heatedly in your ear- can i ride you?
poisonbitterswt (2:41:51 AM): anytime...anyplace...
x cutoutkid (2:43:08 AM): mmm...-undoes my own pants, pulling down my pants and boxers, kicking my shoes off as they all fall into a pile on the floor. sits down on your lap, our cocks rubbing past one another-
poisonbitterswt (2:43:49 AM): there's lube...in that drawer....*points at the coffee table-rubbing against you slowly*
x cutoutkid (2:45:03 AM): -grins and retrieves it, instantly uncapping it and squirting enough on my fingers, staring back into your eyes as i bring a hang between us, grasping your cock and lubing it u=p-
poisonbitterswt (2:45:58 AM): *licks over my lips, groaning a bit, nails raking down your sides*
x cutoutkid (12:29:09 AM): loser
x cutoutkid (12:29:12 AM): :-P
poisonbitterswt (12:29:15 AM): haha
x cutoutkid (12:31:01 AM): x cutoutkid (2:45:03 AM): -grins and retrieves it, instantly uncapping it and squirting enough on my fingers, staring back into your eyes as i bring a hang between us, grasping your cock and lubing it u=p-
poisonbitterswt (2:45:58 AM): *licks over my lips, groaning a bit, nails raking down your sides*
x cutoutkid (12:31:44 AM): -moans low in my throat, watching the look on your face as i bring my hand off of you, hovering just above your lap-
poisonbitterswt (12:33:41 AM): *quirks an eyebrow at you, smirk in place again* you gonna tease me or are we gonna fuck?
x cutoutkid (12:38:35 AM): -smiles, leaning forward just a bit and whispering hotly in your ear as i reach down, holding your hardon in my hand- you...have a very nice...-flicks my tongue out at your ear- cock -lowers myself onto you, kissing just below your ear as i feel you inch inside of me-
poisonbitterswt (12:40:57 AM): *smirk widens into a grin, holding onto your hips as he slams the rest of the way inside of you* yer boyfriend...told me something like that too...*leans up to kiss you, this time taking your lower lip into his mouth*
poisonbitterswt (12:42:32 AM): nix: *eyes keep flicking to the door as i watch mike and tre tip back shots, and i let out a sigh, getting to my feet and setting down my half-drunk beer as i edge out into the hallway-heading down to the "sex room" as we had jokingly dubbed one just like it back in london-when i come to the door i slowly open it, taking in the scene in front of me with eyes full of mischief*
x cutoutkid (12:44:42 AM): he's not...-starts to rock in your lap, lips brushing yours- my boyfriend...-nips at the side of your mouth-
x cutoutkid (12:45:33 AM): not that i...-moans, hands at your shoulders- havent thought about...-pulls up and slams down hard- it
poisonbitterswt (12:46:42 AM): Billie Joe: well...*thrusts up into you* if you dont pick him up soon...you just *thrusts again* may lose him...*thrusts harder* to someone else...*wriggles eyebrows, looking over your shoulder with a small smile*
x cutoutkid (12:49:50 AM): -doesn't notice you looking at him- mmm...not really...-shudders- worried about that...-rotates my hips just a little- right this moment...-closes my eyes with a heavy breath out-
poisonbitterswt (12:51:57 AM): Nix: *strides over, lips close to your ear* he didn't say you had to worry about it, cai love....
x cutoutkid (12:53:57 AM): oh...fuck...nix...-turns my head and captures your lips for a moment, my movements slowing just a little before i pull away, my eyes bright with lust-
poisonbitterswt (12:55:48 AM): Nix: *saunters over to Billie Joe, leaning down and whispering something in his ear, before grabbing both sides of his face and covering his lips with mine*
poisonbitterswt (12:56:12 AM): Billie Joe: *digs nails into your hips, slamming up into you hard*
x cutoutkid (12:57:19 AM): -groans loudly, head tilting back and mouth open just a bit as my fingertips dig into your shoulders- there...right fucking...there...
poisonbitterswt (12:59:15 AM): Nix: *watches Billie Joe fuck you, feeling myself harden, biting down hard on my bottom lip to keep myself from touching you- instead i run my hands down over Billie Joe's chest and suck on the side of his neck*
poisonbitterswt (12:59:30 AM): Billie Joe: *bucks up into you, hitting resistence and pushing even more*
x cutoutkid (1:01:07 AM): -opens my eyes as i feel nix closer to us, sweat glistening on my forehead as i lean forward, my lips crashing with his, opening my mouth and bringing my toungue across his bottom lip-
x cutoutkid (1:01:41 AM): [his being billies]
poisonbitterswt (1:03:13 AM): Billie: *sucks at your tongue, thrusting harder and faster, while bringing a hand up to tangle in my hair*
poisonbitterswt (1:03:47 AM): *I nip at his neck, hands lowering to his sides and rubbing over them*
x cutoutkid (1:05:53 AM): -wimpers into his mouth, bringing one of my hands to the back of your head and gripping your hair as i pull up...slam down...thrusting hard, the couch beneath us squeaking like crazy-
poisonbitterswt (1:06:45 AM): (yours as in nix's or billie's??)
x cutoutkid (1:06:56 AM): [nixs head. cuz its right there]
poisonbitterswt (1:07:01 AM): (k)
poisonbitterswt (1:07:43 AM): *moves away from your hand and out of your reach, once more taking Billie's lips beneath mine and kissing him roughly*
poisonbitterswt (1:08:28 AM): Billie: *sucks on my lip and brings both hands up to twist in my hair as he increases his tempo, pounding upward with all his strength*
x cutoutkid (1:09:53 AM): -cums between us, biting hard on my lower lip, eyes wide open as i watch the two of you-
poisonbitterswt (1:11:07 AM): Billie: *still thrusts a bit into you, close to coming as he sucks hard on my tongue, swirling his own in the inside of my mouth-fingers gripping strands of my hair*
x cutoutkid (1:12:46 AM): -watchs the two of you with an intense stare, my hands gripping hard at your upper arms as my orgasm ripples through me, hands shaking-
poisonbitterswt (1:14:21 AM): Billie: *slams up into you, coming inside you as he runs his hands down the back of my neck to my shoulders, our tongues mingling and twisting over one another*
x cutoutkid (1:15:31 AM): -grins and snakes a hand down, cupping your groin and squeezing hard-
x cutoutkid (1:16:14 AM): -licking over my bottom lip as i slowly come to a stop, panting heavily-
poisonbitterswt (1:17:24 AM): *moves self away from your hand, positioning myself so I'm more behind Billie, as i trail my lips from his lips to his jaw, and back to his neck*
x cutoutkid (1:18:35 AM): fucking...t-tease...-nips at his lips, tasting you and growling-
poisonbitterswt (1:19:46 AM): *ignores you, sucking harder on Billie's neck*
poisonbitterswt (1:20:37 AM): Billie: *glances at you, suddenly serious, whispering* think you may have already lost him...*chuckles, stroking a hand over my hair*
x cutoutkid (1:21:32 AM): -gets up off him, feet hitting the floor before i gather my clothes and shoes, swallowing thickly and disappearing into the bathroom across the room-
poisonbitterswt (1:22:55 AM): Billie: think we may have upset your friend...
poisonbitterswt (1:23:34 AM): *pull away from him, glancing into his eyes* what do you mean? i didn't say anything...you're the one that had to open your mouth...
poisonbitterswt (1:23:46 AM): Billie: what? does the truth hurt him?
poisonbitterswt (1:24:45 AM): *rolls eyes* you dont even know Cai *flicks him in the head before edging over to the bathroom door* get dressed and get your bandmates before they drink themselves to death. i have a friend to look after now that you've upset him...
poisonbitterswt (1:24:59 AM): Billie: *pulls on pants, chuckling under breath as he leaves the room*
poisonbitterswt (1:25:16 AM): Cai....Cai are you okay in there? *voice thick with worry*
x cutoutkid (1:26:23 AM): y-yeah...just getting dressed is...all...-stands there looking into the mirror, my eyes teary as i swallow. pissed at myself for even being upset at the thought that i couldn't have you any moment i chose to-
poisonbitterswt (1:27:38 AM): Cai...dont lie to me....you're crying...I can hear it in your voice *leans head against the door* im sorry he said that....he can be a dick sometimes...
x cutoutkid (1:28:26 AM): -closes eyes, breathes in- said what? -opens eyes, thankful theyre not red-
poisonbitterswt (1:29:34 AM): oh come off it...dont act like you didn't hear what he said....just open the door, Cai...
x cutoutkid (1:29:58 AM): its not like i locked it -adjusts my shirt-
poisonbitterswt (1:30:50 AM): *twists knob and opens door, stepping into the bathroom, looking you over with an attempt at a smile*
poisonbitterswt (1:31:34 AM): i really do like him and all....but sometimes he has word vomit...or maybe it's just he says what he thinks and doesn't give a shit....*shrugs, smiling apologetically*
x cutoutkid (1:32:08 AM): -quirks an eyebrow- i really don't know what you're talking about... i just thought i should leave the two of you alone...-walks out past you-
poisonbitterswt (1:34:07 AM): *growls, grabbing your arm and making you face me* you truly are the shittiest liar i have ever known... *reaches up to wipe at the corner of your eye where there is still wetness-my own eyes sad*
x cutoutkid (1:35:37 AM): -swats your hand away gently- why would anything he said upset me?
poisonbitterswt (1:37:39 AM): i dont know, cai....*rolls eyes heavenward* forget it....blow me off... i really dont fucking care anymore...*throws hands up in the air and strides out of the room-pissed at Billie Joe, pissed at myself, and pissed at you for always brushing me aside*
x cutoutkid (1:38:40 AM): -follows you- just...arg...phoenix...forget about it.
poisonbitterswt (1:39:17 AM): i already fucking have...*stalks into the bathroom across the hall and slams the door shut*
x cutoutkid (1:40:00 AM): -rolls eyes, crosses arms and leans against the wall. doesnt say anything as i watch people walk by-
poisonbitterswt (1:41:32 AM): *kicks at the wall, mentally cursing myself for getting into petty fights with you over nothing-but still seriously pissed at you for expecting me to believe the lies you feed me-takes a deep breath, steeling myself, and plastering a smile on my face as i leave the bathroom, nearly bumping into a group of girls that are heading down the hall*
x cutoutkid (1:42:26 AM): -follows you quietly down the hallway through a throng of people-
poisonbitterswt (1:43:12 AM): we should get to our "seats"....*stares straight ahead, jaw a bit clenched*
x cutoutkid (1:44:33 AM): should we...at least say goodbye to the guys? -quietly-
x cutoutkid (1:45:05 AM): you know...tell um to have a good show and all that shit?
poisonbitterswt (1:47:14 AM): *glances over at you* if you want to...they're all shitfaced by now anyway...i'll be surprised if they even remember your name or mine.....
x cutoutkid (1:47:50 AM): oh...alright...-looks around- any clue where we're going in here?
x cutoutkid (1:48:29 AM): -laughs a little- i wouldnt mind getting a little shitfaced right now either
x cutoutkid (1:48:34 AM): think they got anything left?
poisonbitterswt (1:49:23 AM): yeah i know where we're going....and if you want something to drink all you have to do is ask Phil
x cutoutkid (1:50:02 AM): Phil? and yeah, i really want something to drink... [maybe not nix will see cai shitfaced and uber uber hyper]
poisonbitterswt (1:50:46 AM): (fine by me) Phil would be the security guard that let us into the building....hold on...you wait here....
poisonbitterswt (1:52:31 AM): *saunters over to Phil, whispering something to him and waiting as he goes into a room off to the side, then comes back with a bag and i smile at him, saying "thanks" before coming back over to you- takes a small box out of the bag for me and hands you the bag*
x cutoutkid (1:53:01 AM): [a bottle?]
x cutoutkid (1:53:24 AM): [and is it obvious whats in the box?]
poisonbitterswt (1:53:35 AM): (if you want it to be....hehe)
x cutoutkid (1:54:45 AM): whats the box for? -points at it, taking a bottle of mike's-
x cutoutkid (1:54:51 AM): -out of the bag-
poisonbitterswt (1:55:41 AM): *flips open the box, pulling out some papers and a small bag of weed* depends on what you want it to be for...*smirks at you*
x cutoutkid (1:56:27 AM): you better fucking be sharing that! -excitement in my voice- i haven't had anything good for like..a week...-uncaps the bottle and takes a slow drink-
poisonbitterswt (1:57:17 AM): *grins* well, sharing this all depends on what you give me in return.....not that i had to pay for this, mind you...
x cutoutkid (1:57:40 AM): -smiles- anything... what do you want?
poisonbitterswt (1:58:47 AM): *leans forward, lips brushing your ear* just you, cai....*pulls away, sauntering down the hall with my head held high, whistling and grinning as i make my way to the edge of the stage*
x cutoutkid (1:59:32 AM): -shakes my head, grinning and running up behind me. jumps on your back, wrapping my legs around your waste and trying not to spill my drink- awww...come on, nix
x cutoutkid (1:59:48 AM): behind you-
x cutoutkid (1:59:52 AM): waist-
x cutoutkid (2:00:02 AM): [omg bad typos]
poisonbitterswt (2:00:25 AM): (hehehe...guess cai's hyperness has worn you out...haha)
poisonbitterswt (2:01:29 AM): *laughs genuinely, tilting head back a little to look at you* well...ya know i was never that good at sharing...*eyes twinkling*
x cutoutkid (2:02:07 AM): bullocks...you used to share anything and everything with me -wraps arms around your neck-
poisonbitterswt (2:04:14 AM): true....very true....*smiles and kisses at your chin before stopping for a moment and expertly rolling a joint, licking the paper and sealing it, and then snatching a lighter from the box and bringing the joint to my lips, lighting it and inhaling the first puff-takes joint out of my mouth, enjoying the taste for a moment before exhaling and holding it up for you to take*
x cutoutkid (2:06:22 AM): -takes it from you with my one free hand- don't mind carrying me, do you? -laughs a little, taking a long drag on the joint and holding it in with a satisfied hum-
poisonbitterswt (2:07:52 AM): *snorts*if i minded, i'd have dropped you by now...*climbs down the stairs to the front area of the stage, stopping right in the middle*
x cutoutkid (2:08:48 AM): -lets out the smoke through my nose slowly as we walk- want to try some? -holds the cranberry mike's in front of you- taste fucking awesome...
poisonbitterswt (2:10:01 AM): *takes the bottle from your hands and takes a swig- swallowing* not bad...weed and cranberries...*chuckles* still not as good as other things i've tasted...
x cutoutkid (2:11:31 AM): -giggles a little in your ear, chin is rested on your shoulder as i take another long drag- been a long time since i've toked it up with you
poisonbitterswt (2:12:53 AM): yeah.....as i do recall....the first time i gave you a hit you fell off my bed...
x cutoutkid (2:15:08 AM): yeah, but i really fucking needed it. -offers the joint back to you, taking the mike's back and drinking it- mm...you're right, weed and cranberries... pretty good
x cutoutkid (2:16:31 AM): you know...i've got a fucking scar on the back of my neck from hitting your nightstand thing...-grins and breaths against your ear, laughing a little-
poisonbitterswt (2:19:09 AM): well...i warned you that it was hard stuff...but no...you had to act all tough...scrawny little thirteen year old that you were....and what happened...you took too big of a hit and you went down....man, i think i almost pissed my pants...
x cutoutkid (2:20:50 AM): can handle it now though, can't i? -giggles once again, this time my lips pressed against your ear, the smell of cranberries filling my nose-
poisonbitterswt (2:22:34 AM): not so sure about that one...*lets out something between a giggle and a snort-taking another drag of the joint before passing it to you*
x cutoutkid (2:24:36 AM): i think...-laughs- my leg is cramping...-slides down off your back but doesn't move from behind you, moving on my tiptoes as i take the longest drag yet, watching the paper burn up in front of me- why are you so tall? i cant see over you!
poisonbitterswt (2:28:30 AM): im so sorry...*sways a little on my feet* i'll try to shrink for you...*crouches down till my head it level with your stomach, laughing uncontrollably* that better....*gazes up at you over my shoulder* i really feel like a l-leprechaun now...
x cutoutkid (2:29:28 AM): -hits the top of your head softly- ive got a better idea...-reachs down andpulls you up, wiggling between you and the barrier to the stage-
poisonbitterswt (2:30:58 AM): what are you doing? *looks at you, my head cocked to one side, dopey grin on my face*
x cutoutkid (2:32:04 AM): standing in front of you -throws the very end of the joint down and stamps it out with my foot- duh
x cutoutkid (2:32:59 AM): got anymore? -quietly, tilting my head back and looking at you with a little bit of a glazed look-
poisonbitterswt (2:33:32 AM): of course i do....what a silly question...
x cutoutkid (2:34:13 AM): -pouts out my bottom lip-
poisonbitterswt (2:35:02 AM): *laughs, bringing out more papers and making another joint, handing it to you along with the lighter*
x cutoutkid (2:35:57 AM): -grins like a little kid getting candy as i light it up and tuck the lighter in my back pocket, leaning my head back against your chest and closing my eyes a little as i take another long drag- whattime'sit anyways
poisonbitterswt (2:37:34 AM): *glances at cuff watch* bout 7:45...*kisses your forehead*
x cutoutkid (2:38:41 AM): i love you for bringing me here...-giggles a little- and the pots not half bad either...
poisonbitterswt (2:40:04 AM): well...love you too....and the pot better be good...Phil hasnt let me down yet..
x cutoutkid (2:40:41 AM): [can we say the shows about to staaart?]
poisonbitterswt (2:41:30 AM): (yeah...didnt it say the show started at 8 anyway...?? hehe)
x cutoutkid (2:43:08 AM): -hands the joint back to you, taking the last swig of the mike's and setting the bottle down between my feet, my ass rubbing against you just a bit as i bend over. hiccups a little- fucker...-hiccups again-
poisonbitterswt (2:44:58 AM): *laughs at you, taking a hit of the joint, free hand coming to your hip and absently rubbing up and down*
x cutoutkid (2:47:03 AM): -grins and stands up fully, back pressed against you as i wait excitedly for the lights to lower, shitloads of people behind us and pushing us forward-
poisonbitterswt (2:47:57 AM): *giggles a bit, taking another hit before passing it back to you, both hands resting on your hips now, pressed fully against you now*
x cutoutkid (2:49:30 AM): -sees the lights flicker and thousands of people cheer, grinning like crazy as i take a long toke on the joint, watching the red tip burn up as i do. wiggles a little in my spot, excitedly-
poisonbitterswt (2:50:55 AM): *grins, like seeing you happy, and brings my lips to the side of your neck for only a moment-before the lights go out completely and i see people coming up onto the stage*
x cutoutkid (2:52:09 AM): -looks back at you as intro music plays, flashs of light showing me the look on your face,turning back and yelling with the crowd-
poisonbitterswt (2:53:59 AM): Hello Brisbane! My name's Pierre, and you may know this band of ours. We call ourselves Simple Plan! As a special little favor to our friend Billie Joe, the first song we're gonna sing is called "I'd Do Anything" and it's dedicated to some guys out in the crowd...Caiden and Phoenix! Hope you two enjoy this!
x cutoutkid (2:55:37 AM): -giggles, holding the joint up for you to take as i scream again. turns and looks at you again, a huge ass smile on my face-
poisonbitterswt (2:56:23 AM): *grins back at you, before taking the last hit of the joint and grounding it out on the floor-then pulling you back against me and giving you a quick, rough kiss*
x cutoutkid (2:57:40 AM): -opens my mouth against yours, moaning just a little. the buzz in my head making me smile-
poisonbitterswt (2:58:17 AM): *darts my tongue into your mouth, tasting you, cupping your cheek a bit*
poisonbitterswt (2:59:42 AM): Pierre and David onstage share a glance- David: think we could get some of that? *giggles as he nods towards us* Pierre: looks like they're having too much fun together... *they both laugh and David resumes playing his bass while Pierre sings*
x cutoutkid (3:01:04 AM): -doesnt notice as a person next to us flies over the barrier and gets tugged over, my own back pressed to the barrier and your groin crushing against mine-
poisonbitterswt (3:01:54 AM): *groans against your lips, pushing myself up against you a bit more-licking at your lower lip while deepen the kiss*
poisonbitterswt (3:02:10 AM): *while i*
x cutoutkid (3:04:49 AM): -spreads my legs just a little, feeling myself harden just a little as i pull back from the kiss a little, giggling-
poisonbitterswt: *leans forward a bit, lips close to your ear* when these lovely little punk boys finish their set, im taking you backstage and fucking you senseless...*licks the shell of your ear*
x cutoutkid: -doesnt say anything, knowing id have to yell over the music, and grins with a nod of my head, moving along to the music and watching the singer intently, then the bassist-
x cutoutkid: -entranced by the way his fingers are moving across the strings-
poisonbitterswt: and the way that he strangely resembles you..hahaha)
x cutoutkid: [:-P]
poisonbitterswt: *bobs head to the music, thinking these guys aren't really that bad at all, but focusing maybe too much on how close you are to me and wondering when the set will be over as i run my hands up and down your sides*
x cutoutkid: -picks up on the second part of the song, quietly singing along to it [perfect world] as i'm squished back against you and my stomach against the barrier-
poisonbitterswt: you okay? you wanna get on my shoulders?
x cutoutkid: -looks back at you and nods entusiastically-
poisonbitterswt: *grabs hold of your hips, lifting you up as i bend down just a bit and hoist you onto my shoulders* better? *i yell up at you*
x cutoutkid: fuck yeah! -grins and throws arms up in the air, the lead singer coming to our part of the crowd and touching hands-
x cutoutkid: -totally not even worried about that fact that i'm completly turned on right now and my hardon is pressing against your neck-
poisonbitterswt: *grins a bit, one hand slipping down your side under your pants*
x cutoutkid: -groans a little, unoticably, adjusting myself a little on your shoulders and resting my chin on your head, leaning down to whisper in your ear- think the sets almost done?
poisonbitterswt: i sure as fuck hope so....*kisses the tip of your chin, hand ghosting over your lower stomach*
x cutoutkid: -touchs your arm- we could always go right now...they sound like theyre almost done...
poisonbitterswt: *looks up at you* you wanna go right now...? *fingertips slide just a bit under your boxers*
x cutoutkid: -nods furiously, lips at your ear- right. now. -says this deep, huskily-
poisonbitterswt: you dont have to tell me twice....*lifts you gently off my shoulders, then maneuver us both through the crowd, ducking backstage again past Phil and shoving you into the nearest bathroom, pulling you into an empty stall, barely getting the door shut before i thrust you against the wall*
x cutoutkid: -smiles happily, giggling like mad as i grab the back of your head, forcing your lips against mine-
x cutoutkid: -lifts one leg up and bends it around you, my foot resting on your ass-
poisonbitterswt: *grabs both of your hips, grinding myself against you as i swipe my tongue inside your mouth*
x cutoutkid: -thrusts myself off the wall a little, craving to get off fast and hard as i enjoy your taste, hand bahind your head and gripping your hair hard in my hand-
poisonbitterswt: you wanna be fucked, cai? because it sure seems like it *licks over your lipring*
x cutoutkid: i wanna get fucked...so bad...phoenix...-grinds against you- against...the wall...please...so fucking bad...-reachs down and desperately presses you hard to me with my hands and my leg-
poisonbitterswt: *smiles wide against your lips* how can i deny you? *reaches down and unzips my pants, sliding them down a bit to just under my ass, and then tugs down your pants, exposing you, grinding our groins together with a soft growl*
x cutoutkid: i swear...to god...-moans and tilts my head back against the wall, bucking up against you feverishly-
poisonbitterswt: *sucks on two of my fingers and then reach down and thrust them into you hard*
x cutoutkid: -thrusts back and down against your fingers, moaning even louder as the pleasure rips through me, my head buzzing instensly as i kiss down your neck in short, sweet, pecks-
poisonbitterswt: *pushes in and out of you harder, loosening you-moan a bit at the feel of your lips*
x cutoutkid: -cups your ass in one hand, the other tangling in your hair and tugging your head back as i expose your neck more to me, sucking hard at the base-
x cutoutkid: fuck. me. now. phoenix. -my voice low and sexy, almost growling out the words-
poisonbitterswt: yes. sir. *takes fingers out of you, grabbing hold of my hardon and slamming up into you, burrowing myself deep inside you*
x cutoutkid: -wraps both my legs around you, thrusting down onto you and pressing my legs against you to push you as close to me as possible- fuckk...yeah....-bites down on the crook of your neck, moaning-
poisonbitterswt: *eyes roll back in my head a bit when feeling your teeth, and growl low in my throat, thrusting up into you hard*
x cutoutkid: -feels my back burn with friction against the wall and not caring, sloppy kisses up your neck back to the soft pink flesh of your lips, kissing you fiercly and jerkily thrusting-
poisonbitterswt: *sucks hard on your lip ring, nails digging into your sides as i pound into you*
x cutoutkid: fuck...fuck...FUCK...-moans, your name on the tip of my tounge as i feel my stomach tighten and the pounding of the music on the stage-
poisonbitterswt: yeah..that's what im doing *laughs a bit- slamming into you harder and faster than before, hitting resistence*
x cutoutkid: -feels like i'm ready to explode, my cock aching for release as it rubs harshly between our stomachs, the precum smeared across my skin-
poisonbitterswt: *brings one hand to your cock, sliding over it fast, jerking it hard, pushing deeper....harder into you*
x cutoutkid: -brings my hands to your shoulders, digging my nails in hard and leaning my head against the wall gasping for breath-
poisonbitterswt: ugh...god...nails...*growls against your throat-grips your cock hard, squeezing it, as i thrust harder*
x cutoutkid: -rakes them down your arms, leaving red welts behind as i shoot my load between us- ph..phoenix....
poisonbitterswt: *moans* say it louder, cai...oh god....*slams into you still, close to coming*
x cutoutkid: PHOENIX! FUCK...-eyes rolled back in my head, gripping at your arms as i shake- c-cum for me...nix...
poisonbitterswt: *thrusts a few more times, still hard and fast, moaning into your throat as i spill inside of you*
x cutoutkid: -my hands are shaking badly, legs cramped around you as i rest my head against the wall behind me, panting-
poisonbitterswt: *kisses the hollow of your throat, breathing heavy, body shaking*
x cutoutkid: everytime you fuck me...it gets better...and better....
poisonbitterswt: *groans a little against your neck, licking at the sweat on your skin*
x cutoutkid: -wimpers and sucks in a shaky breath, heart beating hard-
x cutoutkid: -takes your hand and holds it over my heart- and everytime...shit...it beats harder...-giggles-
x cutoutkid: -breathlessly-
poisonbitterswt: *gazes up at you, resisting the urge to ask if you've ever felt this way with kieren-not wanting to know the answer-whispers instead* every time...you look more beautiful to me... *feeling your heart pounding and realizing it's beating once more to the same rhythm as mine- brings your hand to my own chest,seeing if you notice that too*
x cutoutkid: -smiles, noticing but not really letting on that i do- you always look like the most gorgeous person, its hard to get any better...-giggles again-
x cutoutkid: -feels a small twinge in my heart, breathing finally evening-
poisonbitterswt: *smiles-or at least tries to-suddenly sad because i know you are brushing me off once more- slowly pulls myself out of you and untangles myself from you, yanking up my pants and re-zipping them-wondering why the fuck i have to be so damn emotional*
x cutoutkid: -fixes clothes and ruffles my hair with a sad smile, kissing the side of your head softly before i grab your hand and grab you back out onto the floor-
poisonbitterswt: *lets you pull me, but heart is suddenly heavy in my chest, and i fight the urge to cry- thinking "what the fuck is WRONG with me?"*
x cutoutkid: -squeezes your hand just a little as we come out onto the well lit floor again, everyone anxiously waiting for green day-
poisonbitterswt: *shifts from one foot to the other, dropping my hand from yours on the pretense of scratching my neck*
x cutoutkid: -stands next to you and the lights go down, everyone screams and i practically start bouncing in my spot, grabbing you again and tugging you through the people, being the vicious little mosher i usually am at these things-
poisonbitterswt: *sighes a bit, wanting to "accidentally" lose myself in the crowd, wondering if you'd notice, but stay with you because a bigger part of me wants to make sure you dont get hurt*
x cutoutkid: -starts yelling with the crowd as the stage lights up and the three guys go off into american idiot, yelling the lyrics out as loud as i can, huge smile on my face-
poisonbitterswt: *watches you, oddly silent, pushing a guy who nearly topples into you*
x cutoutkid: -gives you an appreciative smile, getting into the concert-
poisonbitterswt: *barely smiles back, singing lyrics low under my breath, avoiding Billie Joe's eyes when he gazes at me*
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *frowns, jumping off the stage and running over to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder and continuing the song*
x cutoutkid: -grins and just watchs, pushing back against the people behind me and trying to hold my ground-
poisonbitterswt: *whispers to Billie* can you just leave me the fuck alone....*increasingly irritable, slamming aside a guy who accidentally bumps into me*
x cutoutkid: -frowns a little at the look on your face, turning around and sneering at some ass that just got beer down me- watch what you're doing, fuckface -looks back over at you-
poisonbitterswt: *shrugs off billie joe's arm and tries to move away from him, but he pulls e back again, this time with his lips close to my ear* -enjoy the fucking concert, nix or i'll embarrass you and pull your ass on stage- he kisse me quickly on the cheek and makes his way back up to the stage- *i glance over at you, just in time to see the guy that had spilled beer on you about to hit you- i jump in between you, rearing back my arm and decking him, watching him fall to the ground with a smirk on my face-hisses* drunk bastard...
x cutoutkid: -grins and grabs ahold of your arm again, getting as far away from him through the crowd as we can before i stop, turning and facing you, grinning before i lean up a bit and kiss your lips lightly-
poisonbitterswt: *tries not to react to the kiss, but can't help it, snaking my arms around your waist and kissing you back deeper*
x cutoutkid: -returns the kiss, moving my mouth against yours, mouth opening just barely before i pull back with a smirk- I FUCKING LOVE YOU! DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THAT DUDES FACE BEFORE HE WENT DOWN? -anxiously, jumping now as the crowd does-
poisonbitterswt: *smiles half-heartedly-wishing you saying "i love you" didn't have to do with just the fact that i'd saved you from a concussion* yeah....it was bloody brilliant....*mutters, knowing you probably hadnt heard me*
x cutoutkid: -didn't hear you, singing along to the end of BASKET CASE and standing just in front of you and off to the side a little, bouncing like fucking mad with everyone else-
poisonbitterswt: *as the song fades, Billie Joe's eyes land on me, but im not paying attention* Billie Joe: brisbane here is the former home of a friend of mine....i met him in london a few years back and have been in touch with him ever since...he is a kick ass guitar player, among other things....so will the representative of brisbane please get his ass up here on stage?
x cutoutkid: -grins and looks back at you, giving you a look- GET YOUR ASS UP THERE, PHOENIX!
poisonbitterswt: *blinks* huh?
x cutoutkid: he wants you up on stage! -points up at billie joe, who is obviously staring at us-
poisonbitterswt: he does? *growls a bit* that ass...he promised me he wouldnt do this...
x cutoutkid: -grins and shakes my head- you gotta do it! its fucking awesome, nix! -gets behind you and starts pushing you-
poisonbitterswt: would you stop pushing me, you ritalin kid! *is laughin a bit now*
x cutoutkid: i'm a ritalin kid and you're a crack baby! -giggles- GO! -shove shove through the crowd-
poisonbitterswt: all right, all right, im goin! *makes way up to the stage, hoisting myself up onto it, shirt riding up over my stomach*
x cutoutkid: -stops at the barrier, grinning and cheering-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *leans over, whispering* those girls down there deserve a show, nix...take off yer shirt and give em one
poisonbitterswt: *quirks an eyebrow at him, shrugging and bringing my hands down to the sides of my shirt, yanking it over my head and tossing it down to you before taking the guitar Billie Joe hands me*
x cutoutkid: -whistles, licking my lips as i watch you- PHOENIXXX! -yells for you-
poisonbitterswt: *shakes my head at you, small smile on my face as Billie Joe whispers something else in my ear* you want me to do what?! *asks, eyebrows raised*
x cutoutkid: -watches intently, the crowd yelling and cheering-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: do it! come on, nix! you did it in london
poisonbitterswt: oh for christ's sake! *brings hands to pants and unzips them, tugging them off so i am now only in my boxers*
x cutoutkid: -cat calls, grinning like mad as i stare you down from the floor, eyes never leaving you-
poisonbitterswt: *tattoos are prominent as the light shines down on me and i begin to play the opening chord of "Holiday*
x cutoutkid: -yells your name, clapping with the rest of the crowd, eager to hear the song-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *turns to you, mouth clamped shut, eyes glittering as he waits to see if i notice that he wants me to sing*
x cutoutkid: -giggles- COME ON NIX! DO IT! -grins wide up at billie joe-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *winks down at you, grinning wide* *I stick my tongue out at him, stepping up to the microphone and begin the song*
x cutoutkid: -sings along with you, my eyes glued on your-
x cutoutkid: you-
x cutoutkid: -cant help but smile-
poisonbitterswt: *eyes close as i get into the song, feeling somehow at home on the stage-seeing you behind my eyes*
x cutoutkid: -feels my heart beating faster as i watch you, the smile on my face wide. feeling and overwhelming proudness for some reason, thinking about how RIGHT you look up there-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *comes up behind me, running his hands up and down my sides, gazing down at you as he does so*
x cutoutkid: -frowns for a second but quickly hides it, suddenly feeling a little jealous and posessive-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *brings a hand around to my front, reaching down a little in the front of my boxers*
x cutoutkid: -swallows and looks away for a moment as the whole crowd cheers, suddenly nto interested in watching-
poisonbitterswt: get the fuck off me man....*says it loud enough, but not directly into the microphone* i know why you're doing that...*hisses*
x cutoutkid: -gets pushed back in the crowd as the circle pit forms and moves, not really caring at the moment-
poisonbitterswt: *glares at billie joe, thrusting his guitar at him* you can finish the song. I have a friend to take care of *jumps down off stage, elbowing people out of my way that are crowding in on you* you all right, love *yells over the music*
x cutoutkid: -smiles faintly- yeah, i'm fine. just got shoved around through the pit... -looks back up at the stage- you sounded amazing, you know?
poisonbitterswt: thanks....but i'd of much rather had you up there with me
x cutoutkid: -grins and shrugs- hey, can't do everything in one day.... -steps close to you and averts my attention to the stage, feeling a little tinge of hatred towards billlie joe-
poisonbitterswt: *pulls you into a hug, lips close to your ear* i love you, caid....no matter what stupid people try to do to make you think otherwise
x cutoutkid: -grins and touchs your arm softly as a slower song starts, recognizing it as WAKE ME UP... and humming the tune a little- i wasnt worried if you loved me
poisonbitterswt: *brings a hand up to cup your cheek, staring deep into your eyes* because there is no one in the world that would make me stop loving you
x cutoutkid: -smiles softly and just nods, whispering- i love this song
poisonbitterswt: *listens* yeah....always makes me sad though...*looks off into the distance, eyes filling with tears and not even realizing it*
x cutoutkid: -reachs up and wipes them away while you're in your daze, facing forward again and leaning back against your chest-
x cutoutkid: -slowly dancing just a little and holding onto your arms-
poisonbitterswt: *smiles down at you, glancing up at the stage and catching billie joe's eyes* -he mouthes "sorry"- *i give him a small smile of acceptance and he smiles back*
x cutoutkid: -closes eyes and sings the worlds softly, the lighters in the room blazing as i sway in your arms-
poisonbitterswt: *listens more to you than billie joe-leaning down just a bit to give you a quick, tender kiss*
x cutoutkid: -kisses back for an instant before its broken, leaning head back and looking up at you, singing still-
poisonbitterswt: *meets your eyes* i could listen to you forever, you know that...
x cutoutkid: -grins- no, but now i do... -looks down and away a little, singing still- as my memory rests...but never forgets what I lost...wake me up when september ends...
poisonbitterswt: *feels a heavy weight in my chest for an instant, as images i hadn't thought of in years flit through my head-tears slowly drip down my cheek and onto your head*
x cutoutkid: -looks back up at you on instinct, turning in your arms and bringing my thumbs across your cheeks- dont cry, love... -gently kisses your cheek-
poisonbitterswt: *manages a small smile* tryin not to....but my eyes dont seem to want to listen to me *laughs a little*
x cutoutkid: -offfers a small smile and ruffles your hair as the song ends, GOOD RIDDANCE starting-
poisonbitterswt: *smiles as this song starts* Billie Joe: i need to apologize for bein a bit of an ass to my friend phoenix...man, this song is for you and caiden!
x cutoutkid:
x cutoutkid: -offfers a small smile and ruffles your hair as the song ends, GOOD RIDDANCE starting-
poisonbitterswt: *smiles as this song starts* Billie Joe: i need to apologize for bein a bit of an ass to my friend phoenix...man, this song is for you and caiden!
x cutoutkid: -cheers and claps, turning back around and standing more next to you now, grinning at you and singing along-
x cutoutkid:
poisonbitterswt: *smiles as this song starts* Billie Joe: i need to apologize for bein a bit of an ass to my friend phoenix...man, this song is for you and caiden!
x cutoutkid: -cheers and claps, turning back around and standing more next to you now, grinning at you and singing along-
poisonbitterswt: *wraps arms around your waist, chin resting on your head as i sing softly*
x cutoutkid: -rests my arms on yours across yours, the song coming to an end and feeling a little bit heavy-
poisonbitterswt: *as the song fades, I let out a small sigh, wishing just for a moment that this thing between us was so much more...so i didn't always feel guilty-kisses the top of your head, smiling sadly*
x cutoutkid: [awww]
x cutoutkid: -yawns a little, shaking my head and looking back up at you, sleepy but excited at the same time for some reason-
poisonbitterswt: you wanna head out the back way? we can get out quicker
x cutoutkid: -grins and nods- sounds good to me...
poisonbitterswt: *takes your hand, pushing my way through the crowd and towards the backstage area, making my way down the hall to the back door*
x cutoutkid: -follows you as the lights go on, the fresh cool airoutside hits me. lets out a sigh of relief-
x cutoutkid: that was an AWESOME show
poisonbitterswt: yeah...yeah it was....*grins just a little*
x cutoutkid: -grins and sort of jumps up and down as i walk- i dont think any show will ever beat that one...
poisonbitterswt: *quirks an eyebrow at you, shaking head a bit* probably not...
poisonbitterswt: *takes out box from back pocket again and lights up another joint, looking off into the distance as i take a drag*
x cutoutkid: -steps in front of you as you do, making you run into me as i smirk-
poisonbitterswt: hey now...*looks down at you, tongue stuck out a bit*
x cutoutkid: -plucks the joint from your finger and takes a long drag, holding it in before i let it slowly out my nose, grinning before i hand it before and grab your hand, starting to walk again-
x cutoutkid: hand it back-
poisonbitterswt: *shakes head at you, gripping your fingers loosely as i take another longer hit on the joint, wanting to simply numb myself for as long as possible...make the thoughts in my head go away so i can be happy and enjoy this moment...instead of feeling guilty every damn second that i touch you*
x cutoutkid: -gets a taxi out on the main street, opening the door and turning to you- might want to get rid of that before we go... -takes it from you and hits it again before i throw it with a grin, tugging you down into the taxi with me-
poisonbitterswt: *chuckles, feeling a bit of the effect hitting me, grateful for it, and slump down into the backseat, nearly falling over onto you*
x cutoutkid: you know...-whispers against your ear- i really wouldnt mind another one of those when we get back to the hotel...-rattles of the hotel name to the driver as we drive away from the arena-
poisonbitterswt: good thing...i have more...left...*giggles a bit, eyes a little hazy as i lay down in the seat with my head in your lap*
x cutoutkid: -leans down and rests my lips againstyour ear- very good thing
poisonbitterswt: *murmurs something incoherant, closing my eyes and humming, scratching at my bare stomach*
x cutoutkid: -giggles a little as we arrive at the hotel, being as its just down the road- time to gooo nixxx -kisses your cheek before i pull away, handing the driver his money and opening the door to my left-
poisonbitterswt: *staggers out of the cab,clutching my shirt in my hand, not even noticing my cell phone ringing on my hip-"Basketcase" jingling loudly*Billie Joe's ringtone...hehehe)
x cutoutkid: -grabs your hands again and practically drags you through the doors of the hotel room and finding the hotel key card in my pocket-
poisonbitterswt: *hums, rolling back and forth on the balls of my feet* ya know...*giggles* i still hear basketcase in my head...
x cutoutkid: thats because your phone...-reachs into your pocket, flips it open and hands it to you- was ringing.
poisonbitterswt: *laughs* that may be it...hello?
poisonbitterswt: oh! hey! yeah....it was one of the best shows you've done...
poisonbitterswt: hold on....let me ask him...*puts hand over mouthpiece* billie joe wants to know if we want to "go out on the town" *chuckles*
x cutoutkid: -grins- if you're up for it, FUCK YEAH!
poisonbitterswt: *grins back* he said FUCK YEAH....uh huh....the hotel down the road....yeah...we'll be outside...see you soon *flips phone closed, replacing it in my pocket* they'll be here in their limo in like ten minutes
x cutoutkid: limo?! never been in a limo...-grabs you back outside-
poisonbitterswt: *laughing again* they're very roomy....sex was good too...
x cutoutkid: sex in the limo or sex tonight? -lmfao-
poisonbitterswt: sex in the limo....it was nice....champagne blowjob....yeah....*rambling, giggling every so often*
x cutoutkid: -shakes my head and leans against you a little, watching the street-
poisonbitterswt: *sings a little under my breath, arms wrapped around myself and hands rubbing up and down my sides* hey....there be our ride! *laughs*
x cutoutkid: oh god... you're going ghetto on me..-laughs and pulls you to the curb-
poisonbitterswt: no....*shakes head emphatically* fuck no! tongue...just got...twisted up...*laughs again*
x cutoutkid: rriiggghhtt.. -opens the limo door, sees billie joe- nice to see you again
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: and the same to you *glances at me* come over here, Mr.Sex
poisonbitterswt: *laughs, crawling into the limo and sprawling out next to Billie Joe, dropping my shirt on the floor*
x cutoutkid: -crawls in after you and plops down next to tre, offer a small smirk and feeling a little out of place again-
poisonbitterswt: Tre: *leans over towards you-whispering* keep an eye on nix, ok? last time he was like this billie joe kinda took advantage of him
x cutoutkid: -quirks an eyebrow at Tre and whispers back- what exactly do you mean?
poisonbitterswt: Tre: *looks at you as if you gotta be kidding* what do you think i mean...*nods head towards billie joe, who has his hands halfway in the sides of my pants*
x cutoutkid: hey...nix...-leans down on towards you and whispers against your ear hotly- come over and sit with me, alright?
poisonbitterswt: *gazes at you, head cocked* why?
x cutoutkid: please? -nips at your ear just a little hoping you'll choose to come with me over his hand down your pants-
poisonbitterswt: you've got tre and mike to sit next to...im fine where i am
poisonbitterswt: *moans a little when billie joe's hand goes lower*
x cutoutkid: -rolls eyes and sits back where i was, starting to regret this-
x cutoutkid: -whispers to tre- well, its not taking advantage if he wants it.
x cutoutkid: - a little bitter -
poisonbitterswt: Tre: the stuff that Phil gave you....was it any particular color...?
x cutoutkid: uh...sort of bluish...why?
x cutoutkid: tasted awesome
poisonbitterswt: Tre: *glares over at billie joe* that fucker...
x cutoutkid: huh? what about it? -looks a little concerned-
poisonbitterswt: he gave that shit to phil just for nix...i know it...last time it reacted like crazy with the meds nix was taking....made him whoa fucked up and billie joe knew it....he apologized and all that....said he'd make sure he got other stuff if there was a next time....and he didn't...and now *nods at nix* he's fucked up all over again....shit, he probably doesn't even know which way is up...
x cutoutkid: -swallows and looks and nix, feeling like i should do something about this but not doing anything just yet, looks at Tre again worriedly-
x cutoutkid: where are we going anyways?
poisonbitterswt: some bar...i dont know...mike saw it when we passed by on our way to the hotel...*shrugs* i dont care one way or the other...
poisonbitterswt: Me: look! the stars are out! *giggles-leaning my head back onto billie joe
poisonbitterswt: s lap*
x cutoutkid: -bites the inside of my cheek, slowly getting more pissed off as i watch the two of you. eyes shooting daggers at billie joe-
x cutoutkid: phoenix...-tries to get your attention-
poisonbitterswt: *looks up at billie joe* you have pretty eyes....*giggles again, reaching hand up to stroke his cheek* -he leans down and brings his lips to mine-
x cutoutkid: hey billie...-waits for him to look up-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *pulls himself away from me and glances at you* what?
x cutoutkid: -nods to nix a little- why dont you try feeling up on someone thats a little less fucked up. -anger in my voice and annoyance-
x cutoutkid: your wife, maybe
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *laughs a little* he's not your boyfriend, so why not be possessive of someone else *goes back to kissing me, hand creeping over my hip*
poisonbitterswt: Tre:*closes eyes* man....i knew this would happen if he came to the show....*sighes*
x cutoutkid: -clenchs one of my hands at my side, trying my hardest not to jump him and yank him off you- he might not be, but that doesnt mean you can fuck him up and do what you want with him. -really fucking pissed-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *detaches self from me again, smirking at you* he wanted the stuff, caiden...no one made him take it...and im sure our nix could tell me to stop if he really wanted to....but seeing the other alternatives...*looks you up and down* i can see why he doesn't...
x cutoutkid: he doesn't stop because he's too fucked up to even know who he's making out with. -clenchs jaw- and you knew that what you gave him would do this, thats why you gave it to him.
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: maybe you're right...*grins* maybe i did...but he's just too good a piece of ass to pass up
poisonbitterswt: Tre: Billie will you fucking stop it? come on....seriously....leave him the fuck alone!
x cutoutkid: phoenix. is not. a piece of ass.
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: what in the hell do you care what i call him? you're just a petty little cling-on that opened up for me the instant i asked you to
poisonbitterswt: Tre: BILLIE! fucking christ, man! STOP it!
x cutoutkid: what a mistake that was. -mutters- weren't even that good. -under my breath-
poisonbitterswt: Tre: get off him, Billie. Right.FUCKING.now! or i swear to god to you i'll call your goddamned wife!
x cutoutkid: -swallows and doesnt say anything, a little taken back by the sound of Tre's voice, Mike off watching on the side-
poisonbitterswt: *when Billie doesn't move, Tre leans over, fist clenching around his collar* i dont care how FUCKING horny you are...or how much you wanna aggravate people just for the hell of it....but you ARE NOT gonna fuck with him anymore...do you hear me? keep a hold of your dick and get. THE FUCK. off of him!
x cutoutkid: -REALLY wishing we hadn't come, looks over at mike apologetically and then back at the three of you, you completly not paying attention to the situation-
poisonbitterswt: Mike: *whispers* you're a good friend, you know that...and billie...he's just a frustrated ass when he's high and has had shots....dont take anything he says personally...he wont even remember it later...
x cutoutkid: -nods just a little- phoenix...come here...-leaning over the space between one seat and another, looking up at tre and billie-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *moves away from me, shaking his head a little, fingers grazing through his hair and a slight tinge of red on his cheeks*
poisonbitterswt: Tre: *sighes, sitting back in his seat, still glaring a bit at Billie Joe-whispers to you* Im sorry about that...really...
poisonbitterswt: *i blink a bit, still dazed, falling off the seat onto the floor and giggling hysterically*
x cutoutkid: -shakes my head and picks you up, setting you down on the little bit of seat next to me-
x cutoutkid: -whispers against your ear so they cant hear- you feel alright, nix?
poisonbitterswt: *glances at you, eyes cloudy* all right? what's all right? *laughs* i feel like my head's...been dunked...underwater...
x cutoutkid: -swallows, thinking maybe once the limo stops we should just get a taxi back-
poisonbitterswt: *leans my head back against the seat, coherant thoughts flitting into my head a little-tears start sliding over my cheeks one by one-whispers sadly-voice thick* he...did it again...didn't he...?
x cutoutkid: -swallows and kisses the side of your head, arm around your shoulders- yeah...he did...-quietly, wiping the tears from your cheeks-
poisonbitterswt: *sighes-muttering* always getting taken advantage of...one way or the other...
x cutoutkid: -sighs- well...me and tre got him... off you... -looks down and over at the three of them a little-
poisonbitterswt: signed off at :: PM.
poisonbitterswt: signed on at :: PM.
x cutoutkid: -sighs- well...me and tre got him... off you... -looks down and over at the three of them a little-
poisonbitterswt: yeah...bloody wonderful....last time i was naked in the back of the limo, and i was left there...it just gets better and better...*mumbles bitterly*
x cutoutkid: i wouldnt of let it happen last time...if i was there...-quietly, knowing i can't really say anything to help-
poisonbitterswt: *doesnt reply-but instead gazea off into the distance, chewing on lower lip* -the limo comes to a stop and the chauffeur comes around to open the back door-
poisonbitterswt: *gazes*
x cutoutkid: -lets tre and mike get out in front of me, gently gesturing for you to follow-
poisonbitterswt: *grabs shirt off the floor and stumbles out of the limo, yanking on shirt when i get out onto the pavement and walking a few steps away from everyone*
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: er...cai...can i please talk to you for a second..*looks down, having the graciousness enough to look embarrassed*
x cutoutkid: -holds an arm over my chest- talk then.
poisonbitterswt: im sorry about the shit i said...i dont think straight sometimes...i've...well...i've had to go to a counselor...im tryin to get better at it...*peeks up at you a bit, a few tears on my lashes* i dont mean to be so...so uncaring.....i just...i dont know....i truly dont think of nix as just a "piece of ass"...and you...you mean a lot to him...he's told me that....im truly, truly sorry from the bottom of my heart....
x cutoutkid: -swallows and says quietly- i don't care why you said it... just don't do it again.... nix has enough shit... you're his friend, you should know
poisonbitterswt: *looks away for a moment, cheeks burning red* yeah...yeah, i do know....*glances back at you* and i promise you...i swear to you i wont hurt him like that again...
poisonbitterswt: *i am leaning against the wall of the bar, haziness gradually fading away, seeing you and billie joe talking and wondering what you're saying to one another- and wanting so fucking badly just to be in bed right now, curled up in the covers, not talking to you...not thinking...just falling into a void*
x cutoutkid: -nods- i have to go see if he's alright....-crawls out of the limo-
poisonbitterswt: Billie Joe: *nods, slowly getting out after you and going over to Mike and Tre*
x cutoutkid: -looks for you, seeing you against the wall and walking over, standing close to you-
poisonbitterswt: *gazes up at the sky, pushing my emotions down like i always do* im goin back to the hotel *pushes off the wall and moves to hail a taxi*
x cutoutkid: -follows you- i was just going to ask you if you wanted to...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt: *a taxi stops and i get in, not saying anything, moving over on the seat and turning on my side, head against the seat and arms wrapped around myself*
x cutoutkid: -gets in and shuts the door, telling the taxi the hotel names and laying my head back against the seat- i'm sorry, nix...
poisonbitterswt: *pretends not to hear you, tears rolling down my cheeks and biting down on my bottom lip hard to stifle a small sob*
x cutoutkid: i had a feeling, yaknow? that we should of just stayed at the hotel...-is looking out the window-
poisonbitterswt: *reaches a hand up to wipe at my cheek, but more tears just take the place of the ones i wipe away* brisbane is the fucking antichrist....*mutters under breath*
x cutoutkid: yeah...-whispers- it really fucking is... -turns to you and frowns-
poisonbitterswt: *more and more tears keep coming and a small cry escapes my lips before i can stop it, body shaking just a little*
x cutoutkid: -scoots a little over to you and places a hand on your cheek, hugging you to me whether you like it or not-
poisonbitterswt: *turns a bit, burying my face in your neck, clinging to you like a life preserver-tears dripping from my eyes onto your shoulder*
x cutoutkid: -whispers, kissing the side of your head- you know... you're still beautiful, even when you cry... i didn't think that was possible...-maybe the pots talking a little, stroking the back of your head-
poisonbitterswt: *sniffles, gazing up at you a bit* i really...dont know...what i'd do without you, cai...*manages a small smile*
x cutoutkid: probably not get into so many fucked up situations... -looks down at you and offers a soft, joking, smile-
poisonbitterswt: *laughs* that's probably true...*leans up a bit and kisses your cheek* but id rather have fucked up situations with you than nothing at all...
x cutoutkid: -shakes my head and laughs a little, the taxi stopping. in the back of my mind wondering if billie joe had the driver do circles before going to the club-
poisonbitterswt: *moves away from you a bit and hands driver money, then slowly gets out of cab and makes way into hotel-when i get to our room i unlock it and immediately strip down to my boxers, crawling into bed and turning off the light-laying on my side and closing my eyes, wiping away the last vestiges of tears from my cheeks*
x cutoutkid: -follows and strips down to my boxers, crawling in behind you and giving some space-
Caiden: -laying on my side, eyes open and a space between us, not used to being a bed with you and not being curled up to you-
Phoenix: *has eyes closed, ignoring your proximity to me, singing green day lyrics in my head*
Caiden: -huffs a little, feeling way too awake to sleep. turns over onto my other side, grumbling and slinging an arm over you, chest to your back-
Phoenix: *bites lip, still trying to ignore you, practically screing lyrics in my head*
Caiden: -a little whiny- nixxx... i cant sleep...
Caiden: -pouts, pressing a little against you- nixxxxx... -the whole of my body curved against yours- i'm horny
Phoenix: *mutters* oh dear god... Cai...go.to.bed...
Caiden: -huffs again, my hand retracting over your side to the band of your boxers, just above your ass and fingering the band on them-
Caiden: please? -small voice-
Caiden: -fingers lightly over your bare ass under the material-
Phoenix: no, Cai....*biting lip harder now*
Caiden: -nuzzles your neck a little with my nose, hands going down further, cupping your ass a bit-
Phoenix: Caiden Sieres....stop that....*clps lips together to stifle a moan*
Caiden: pleaseee nix? -fingers ghosting across your opening a bit, lips pouting against your neck-
Phoenix: Caiden...you're not bein fair.....
Caiden: i too...-grinds my hips against your ass, my hands still cupping, and lets out a small wimper-
Phoenix: *does not know how much more of this i can take-but decides to stay silent and ignore you as much as is humanly possible* *thinking- ZIEG HEIL TO THE PRESIDENT GASMAN! BOMBS AWAY ARE YOUR PUNISHMENT*
Caiden: -moves against your back more, hardening and bringing my hands back up your ass, tugging your boxers down a bit-
Caiden: -whipers against your ear- trials by fire....setting fire...-wiggling one leg between yours, nails softly down your ass as i expose the skin-
Phoenix: *scrunches eyes shut, trying SO HARD to not react to your touch*
Caiden: -pulls the material halfway off, my hands trailing my hands over your sides and to your stomach, palms flat-
Phoenix: *thinks of how cruel you're being....after all we'd talked about....all i thought we'd understood...but the pleasure im feeling pushes all coherant thoughts aside...and even though i know it's wrong i succumb to your touch, bringing my own hands down to yours and pushing them under the front of my boxers*
Caiden: -hums a little against your neck, kissing between your shoulderblades as i lace my fingers with yours, palming over your groin-
Caiden: tha's better...
Phoenix: *moans, eyes fluttering, sucking in a shaky breath, body shuddering a bit*
Caiden: -presses down on you, back into me, moaning as i feel your ass against me-
Phoenix: Caiden.....oh....
Caiden: -takes my one hand out from your boxers, going around behind you again and tugging them fully down, my other hand wrapping around you-
Phoenix: *hands clench at sides* this...is so...not being....just friends....
Caiden: wot? friends don't ever do this sort of thing...? -innocently, toeing your boxers off with my foot and jerking you slowly-
Phoenix: *pushes back up against you, rubbing ass against your hardon, letting out another moan*
Caiden: -sucks hard on your shoulder, groaning as i pull at my own boxers, getting them off and kicking them somewhere before i press myself against you again, rubbing up and down as i whimper against your ear-
Caiden: can...can we? -softly against the back of your neck-
Phoenix: why....are you asking...me that? *groans*
Caiden: -my cock against your ass, fingers leaving you for a moment from the front as i bring two fingers up to my mouth, wetting them and bringing them against your opening, inserting them both slowly-
Phoenix: *hisses a bit at the sudden entrance, and then let out a sigh* oh god...Cai...that feels...so good...
Caiden: -just kisses at the back of your neck and down between your shoulders, pushing in and pulling out a few times, twising my fingers, before i pull them out completly, grasping my self. puts a leg between yours, elevatng your leg a bit before i line myself up with you, tip touching your entrance-
Phoenix: *chews down hard on lower lip, wanting you inside, like NOW!* Cai......*grinds hips back against you*
Caiden: -breath across your neck before i slowly slide myself into you, a heated sigh against your neck and my hand on your side-
Phoenix: *sighes when you push inside of me- moves one hand to yours on my side*
Caiden: -fully inside of you, pausing for a long moment, just kissing your neck softly down to your shoulder before i pull out, leg hooked between yours-
Phoenix: *presses back against you, shivering at the feel of your lips on my shoulder*
Phoenix: *whispers* tease....*when you pull out*
Caiden: -says nothing, pushing back into you full again, this time hugging my back close against you, chin going onto your shoulder as i breathe out heavily-
Phoenix: *enjoys the feel of you inside of me, although i know i should make you stop*
Caiden: -kisses at your cheek, closing my eyes now before i build up a rythmn, my one hand going up, bending the tangle in your hair, as the other slides back down to yours stomach-
Phoenix: *feels ready to spasm* *arches back a little, shoving self back into you*
Caiden: -presses on your stomach, barely, fingers grazing lower and lower as i pull into you slowly, arching my back, chest flush against you as i kiss at the side of your neck-
Caiden: -pull out of you and push into you [oops]-
Phoenix: *trying to get accustomed to the whole "going slow" thing...but want so badly for you to just shove into me* *moves head a bit to kiss you*
Caiden: -gently moves against your lips, breathing heavily as i rock against you-
Phoenix: *nips a little at your lower lip* *darting tongue in your mouth as i bring up a hand to tangle in your hair*
Caiden: -wimpers a little, my hand grabbing you lightly , jerking slowly and tediously as i control moving against you, the only sound in the room and noise i make as my skin hits yours-
Phoenix: *brings hand down to yours, sliding mine up and down over yours to the se rhythm, stomach tight*
Caiden: -brings my thumb across your head, my lips hovering over yours as i breathe heavily, eyes shut tight as i work myself against you, the bed squeaking beneath us-
Caiden: -my otherarm curved above us, hand touching your right cheek as my lips brush yours lightly-
Phoenix: *thrusts up against your hand at the se time as my other hand reaches back and tugs at your hair*
Caiden: -my back sticky against yours, my jerks on you still slow, teasing you. lets go of you, fingers rubbing at your balls for a moment before i trail my fingers over your cock again-
Caiden: -shakily moving in and out of you now-
Phoenix: dmit....why...do you have....to tease....?? *grabs your ass and clenches hard for a minute, before letting go and twisting fingers into pillow*
Caiden: -brings my lips back to your neck, squeezing you in my hand and thumbing over the head one more time, my stomach tightening as i feel you clench around me. cums, panting across your skin-
Phoenix: *groans into the pillow, spilling into your hand*
Caiden: -shaking against you, stopping my movements and just enjoying the feeling of being inside of you, kissing your shoulder again before i rest my head against yours, hand wiping on the sheets a bit before rest on your stomach-
Caiden: -fingers spread across your stomach, lightly rubbing against your skin-
Phoenix: *now that it is over, coherant thoughts come back...and my stomach tightens but not in a good way...feel a bit ashed....pulls away from you a little bit, hoping you don't notice*
Caiden: -bites my lip a little, pulling out of you with a small sigh before i scoot closer to you, wrapping an arm around you tightly-
Phoenix: *closes eyes tightly, letting you hold me, although i have a sick feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that won't go away*
Caiden: -nuzzles my lips against the side of your neck, sighing softly, eyes still closed-
Phoenix: *dont say anything, phoenix...just go to sleep...go to sleep...dont think....* *breathes out raggedly, and tries to fall into a deep sleep so my thoughts won't nag at me*
Caiden: g'night phoenix...-quietly, sleepily, my leg still intertwined with yours-
Phoenix: *doesnt say anything...cant say anything over the lump in my throat* *simply nods and falls into a fitful sleep*
Caiden: -falls into a hazy sleep, not regretting what i just did as much as i know i should-
Caiden: -whispers in your ear- phoeeenixxx
Caiden: - a little louder - niixxx
Caiden: -moves a little from behind you, nudging at your cheek with my nose-
Phoenix: *grumbles* go away.....
Caiden: -does it again, making a small whimpering sound, hands on either side of you and half straddling you-
Phoenix: *puts pillow over head* leave me alone....
Caiden: oh no you dont...-both hands, tugs at the pillow and gets it free, tossing it to the floor and running my fingers over the top of your head-
Phoenix: *growls* i... not...a morning person, cai...*brings up hand to push at you, eyes still closed*
Caiden: -grabs your hand in mine, fingers between yours- c'mon...it's almost ten....-pulls at your arm a little-
Caiden: -nine
Phoenix: so what? *pulls back*
Caiden: -falls down against you,nudges you again with my nose- stop being so difficult!
Phoenix: *finally opens eyes, staring at you, leans up and kisses the tip of your nose* i told you im not a morning person....
Caiden: and i told you it was almost nine...-pouts a little- i want food...
Phoenix: then go eat something...*turns over onto stomach and buries head under another pillow*
Caiden: -sits on your back, rubbing at your shoulders, still naked mind you- i dont wanna go alone...-lays flat against you, cheek on your back- pleassseee?
Phoenix: *grumbles* all right....fine....get off me and we'll go get you breakfast...
Caiden: YAY! -grins, crawling off of you and sitting on the bed next to you as you get up-
Phoenix: *reluctantly goes to get dressed in the bathroom, shutting the door and turning on the faucet full blast as i sick a bit in the toilet*
Caiden: [-[] -looks over in the mirror on the wall, fingers through it and pulling it forward before i go to find some clothes-
Phoenix: *shakily wipes mouth on towel, flushes toilet and pulls on clothes, shutting off the faucet before i go back into the bedroom, smile plastered on my face*
Caiden: -smiles up at you softly, tugging my pants on and grabbing the white shirt i brought-
Caiden: -tugs it over my head, ruffling my hair back into place- so...where you want to go eat?
Phoenix: *so not in the mood for anything to eat* wherever you want...
Caiden: -face brightens a little, eyeing you- alright...-makes way to bathroom- get dressed? -softly, brushing past you-
Phoenix: already dressed
Caiden: [oh, poo, scratch it all then. der]
Caiden: -tugs on your arm a little- le's go...-walking towards the door, smilil;ing up at you-
Caiden: you know... you're really not THAT hard to get up in the morning...-toeing on my black vans-
Phoenix: yeah.....well...levi used to have to drag me out of bed *bites lip, so not wanting to think of levi at that moment, because thoughts of levi brought on thoughts of kieren* *clears throat* yeah...so we should go...*makes to head out door*
Caiden: s-sorry...i just thought we might get going because our flight leaves around one...-bites my lip a little, following you out the door-
Caiden: besides, i was getting antsy sitting around...
Phoenix: yeah....*chews on lip, avoiding your gaze* *wants more than anything to be as far away from you as possible at the moment*
Caiden: -elevator, watching you the whole time- so yesterday... i didnt thank you...
Phoenix: *asks without thinking about it, staring off into the distance* for what?
Caiden: the concert...fuck...billie joe...-grin on my face-
Phoenix: signed off at .
Phoenix: signed on at .
Caiden:
Phoenix: *asks without thinking about it, staring off into the distance* for what?
Caiden: the concert...fuck...billie joe...-grin on my face-
Caiden: [cough -giggles-]
Phoenix: yeah...great concert....*chews on bottom lip*
Phoenix: *wonders how offended you would be if i just said i wanted to be alone-then thinks better of it-dont want to answer questions anyway*
Caiden: fuck yeah it was...-walking close to your side as we go through the lobby and out the doors-
Phoenix: *inches away from you a bit, making way to the curb to hail a taxi*
Phoenix: *once a taxi stops for us, i crawl into the backseat and slide over as far as possible, instantly taking up staring out the window, chewing on nail-my nervous habit*
Caiden: -lays my head back against the seat, stretching a little and telling the taxi drive to take us to Michael's Restaurant-
Caiden: so...what do you want to do today...?-looks over at you, cocking my head-
Phoenix: *thinks- get as far from you as possible* i don't know....*bites lip, still staring out at the scenery-sighes* whatever you want to do.... *feels a part of my heart breaking inside*
Caiden: -scoots a little over to you, liefting my left sleeve- did i show you this yet? -bites my lip, not sure if you've really seen it up close-
Caiden: -holds out arm, flipping it over so you can see it-
Phoenix: *glances over, near tears but getting used to pretending-sees the tattoo on your forearm-reaches out and softly tracing the design* it's....nice....what's it mean?
Caiden: i got it for you...-looks up at you- means friend in kanji...-smiles a little-
Caiden: -shivering a little as your finger traces it-
Phoenix: huh.....i like it.....*goes back to looking out window, wishing i were anywhere but here-absently rubs at the spot on my chest where my tattoo is....wondering how much it'd cost to get it removed*
Caiden: -pulls my arm back, not bothering to tug to sleeve back down as i look down at my hands, the cab pulling into the restaraunt parking lot and stopping-
Phoenix: *lets out a sigh of relief- get through breakfast, phoenix and you're home free....you wont have to pretend much longer* *gets out of car, paying the driver, and opens the door for you, blinking rapidly against the tears that are trying to overcome me*
Caiden: -scoots out, whispering a soft "thanks" before walking towards the door, hand in pockets-
Phoenix: *follows you, jaw clenched, hands in my back pockets as i enter the restaurant after you*
Caiden: -signs says to seat ourselves so i do, plopping down and my seat, anxiously fiddling with the placemat-
Phoenix: *slides in across from you, gazing around....memories flooding back to me of all the times we used to spend here, hanging out-small, genuine smile comes to my face* hey cai...remember when we brought reese here for the first time and he knocked over that sign? *chuckles*
Caiden: -smirks- yeah...shit... that was fucking great... -doesnt bother looking at menu, but frowns a bit- i miss him... -looks down for a second before i look back up at you, smirking again- good times, though...
Phoenix: *looks off, lost in memories* they wanted to kick us out because we were making too much noise....and reese stuck his tongue out at the waiter...and told him i'd beat him up if he tried to....
Phoenix: yeah....he was such a little shit...tagging along after us....trying to sneak our surfboards out....getting me in trouble saying that i let him use mine when he was too little for it...
Phoenix: *smile widens*
Caiden: -laughing hard now, covering my mouth- oh you loved every minute of it... -grins-
Phoenix: i did....especially when he thought he'd be a tough guy and tell the waiter to sod off...and then hid behind me...
Phoenix: *shakes head, laughing now with tears in my eyes*
Phoenix: and then the time he sw out on my surfboard, stood up and went toppling right back into the water....l-losing his trunks....*laughin uncontrollably, head on the table*
Caiden: holy shit i forgot about that! -grins like crazy- trying to impess some eight years... -makes a pft sound, tears in my eyes-
Phoenix: and we had to go out and save him...and i shielded him...he was near tears...telling me he was sorry, cuz my board hit the rocks...and...i..i told him as long as he was okay...it didnt matter....and you had to go find his trunks.....but they were ripped...and so he had to walk around in a towel, face all red...
Phoenix: oh man....that kid was always good for a laugh...i always thought of him as my own little brother....kinda made me wish i wasnt an only child..
Caiden: -smiles at you, laughs stopping, wiping at my eyes- yeah... you were really good to him... even when he was being an ass... -smiles softly, shiting a little in my seat- he asked me how you were the other day... i told him me and you needed to go out there and see him...
Phoenix: *glances up at you, laughter slowly fading* yeah....i'd really like that...
Caiden: me too... -waitress comes over, looking a little studious of us-
Phoenix: *stares up at the woman, giving her a half smile* 'ello
Caiden: -smiles up at her too, recognizing her-
Caiden: "i know you two..." -points her pen at us in thought-
Phoenix: you probly do...we've been on a few wanted posters *smiles cheekily-winking at her*
Caiden: -giggles alittle as she shakes her head, a smile coming over her face now-
Caiden: "no...no... you used to come in here all the time. i remember you! a bit older now... wheres the other ones you used to come in with, eh?"
Phoenix: *glances at you, smile slipping*
Caiden: oh...uh...yeah... well... sort of grew apart i guess...-bites my lip- brother moved to the states... -looks down at my hands, not wanting to meet her eyes-
Caiden: "yeah! reese wasnt it? caiden...-points to me- and... -shakes pen again- phoenix, right? is that it?"
Caiden: "you guys used to cause a lot of trouble...-used smile-"
Phoenix: we still do...*mutters-bad mood back again as i flip through the menu*
Caiden: yeah...uhh... can we order?
Caiden: "yeah, sure hun. go right ahead..."
Caiden: uh..french toast...powdered sugar... scrbled eggs? -looks over at you a little, but not back at her-
Phoenix: i'll have coffee, black
Phoenix: *hands menu to her*
Caiden: -frowns a bit-
Caiden: -she walks away-
Phoenix: *more memories are coming back to me...crmed into a back booth next to you and...reese pushing in next to me.... chuck, justin and roxie across from us...reese whispering things in my ear...making me laugh....* *whispers softly, almost to myself* i wish things hadnt changed so much...
Caiden: -bites my lip a little, nostalgia flooding in- yeah... but sometimes things change for the better... even if its not better just yet... -looks down, tapping my fingers in thought=
Caiden: you know...i was thinking about... your parents...-looks down even more-
Phoenix: *glances at you, eyes boring into you, a lump rising in my throat* my p-parents? *breath catches*
Caiden: yeah...-small smile- just about when i first came over... and your mom made cookies... and your dad got us to play football... i wasnt very good -laughs a little-
Caiden: funny how you pick and choose what you remember from that age, huh?
Caiden: i knocked out your kitchen window too... started crying...
Caiden: remember?
Phoenix: *swallows* *whispers softly* yeah....i remember...mum came outside and scooped you up in her arms and kissed your cheeks, telling you the window didnt mean a thing...and dad told you you kicked well...*small sad smile*
Caiden: --looks up into your eyes, giving a small smile- yeah... they really were awesome... i didnt even want to go home that night...
Phoenix: mum s-said she wished she could adopt you...that you were so adorable...*tearing up as i remember my mum's smile...my dad's laugh...the way they were everything to me-and got violently jerked away*
Caiden: -reachs a little across the table, touching the top of your hand barely- don't cry nix...-soft smile- they're not here right now...but you've still got the good memories of them...-squeezes your hand softly-
Phoenix: yeah....yeah, of course....that helps....makes the memory of seeing them die right in front of me so much less painful *mutters bitterly- then shakes head* sorry....*sniffles, reaching up to wipe at my eyes* this is supposed to be a good morning.....
Caiden: i'm sorry....nix... i shouldnt have brought it up...-pulls hand away, fiddling with the ring in my lip as my food comes, digging into it and determined to finish it quickly-
Caiden: its just... you're a lot of the reason i have any good memories...
Phoenix: yeah....se here *manages a small grin*
Caiden: -smiles a little too, moving my foot under me and kicking you a little- oops...swwy....-mouth full-
Caiden: -takes a sip of water-
Phoenix: that was soo hot, cai....*laughs*
Phoenix: *shaking head*
Phoenix: *looks down at coffee i dont even want, but take a sip of it anyway*
Caiden: shu' up, phoenix -mumbled through eggs in my mouth, sticking touguye out a little-
Phoenix: man...yer just irresistable now, arent you? *giggles*
Caiden: oh you know it...-finishes last piece of french toast with a content sigh-
Phoenix: *gulps down coffee, bitter taste in my mouth, not as apprehensive as before, because this feels so much like old times*
Phoenix: soo....wanna blow this popsicle stand? *laughs*
Caiden: -smirks at you, taking the check the waitress left and tossing some cash on the table- yeah... le's go...
Phoenix: *gets up, pulling you by the wrist, winking at the waitress as i move in for a quick kiss right in front of her- then pull you out of the restaurant, laughing hard* don't think she'll ever forget us now...
Caiden: i dont think she really forgot us to begin with... maybe she was embarassed she even remembered us...-giggles a little, stopping out on the curve and getting a taxi, jumping into the backseat, leaning over to the cabbie and whispering something into his ear-
Phoenix: *gets in next to you, still laughing a bit*
Caiden: -smiles over at you, a geniune one, licking over my lips a little-
Phoenix: *doesn't pay attention to my surroundings as I lean back against the seat, eyes closed, a small smile still on my face*
Caiden: -taps on my leg a little, looking over at you the whole ride before the taxi pulls up into a cemetary- "where from here, kid?" uh... around this curve... -taxi drives through until i tell him to stop-
Caiden: thanks... -gives him some money- cmon nix...
Phoenix: *opens eyes, looking confused when i see where we are* Cai...why in god's ne are we in a cemetary?
Caiden: -doesnt answer, gesturing- c'mon... -gets out of the taxi-
Caiden: -moves around to your side of the taxi, opening your door and waiting for you to come out-
Phoenix: *gets out, still looking at you oddly* Cai..this isn't another of your weird little ideas is it...because...yeah....*trails off, glancing around*
Caiden: no...just... -takes ahold of your hand, giving you a small smile before i tug you lightly passed a few graves before stopping in front of one large one-
Phoenix: *pauses in front of the large gravestone, breath catching in my throat....a million emotions flow through me...anger....disbelief....but overcoming that is an all encompassing grief that makes me unable to speak*
Caiden: -squeezes your hand a little- i thought... well... since your aunt never let you... -looking down a little-
Phoenix: *pulls away from you, sinking to my knees in front of the gravestone- reach out and trace fingers over the nes, eyes filling with tears-my body starts to shake as I tug at the ends of my hair and let out a low wail*
Caiden: -kneels down next to you, touching your shoulder softly, not saying anything and just letting you let it out-
Phoenix: *close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears, faintly aware of you next to me* Dad....M-Mummy....*buries face in hands, sobs escaping my lips*
Caiden: -loosely hugs you, not sure what to do-
Caiden: -lightly strokes your hair, rubbing your back-
Phoenix: *lost in thoughts of past and present, not quite able to discern one from the other at the moment...seeing flashing lights...hearing crunching metal and splintering glass...my mum's cries while she was trapped in the car and my aunt holding me back* Mummy...don't leave me....please....I won't be bad...please don't go...don't go...Daddy... *convulses in sobs, hand falling over the gravestone-clawing at it* come back....please.....PLEASEEEEE....
Caiden: -grabs your hands, holding them both in my hands, whispering in your ear- sh...phoenix...it's ok...-squeezes both your hands in mine, feeling terrible-
Phoenix: *lets out an almost inhuman scre as i push you away from me* don't touch me! LEAVE ME ALONE! *curls up in front of the gravestone, leaning head against the cool stone* I was good, Mummy....I swear I was...I did everything she told me to....I did.....*rests hand over the two nes, tears trickling over my cheeks as my sobs die away*
Caiden: -lands on my ass, a lost look on my face and not knowing what to say to you right now- ph-phoenix... -gets up, kneeling again near you-
Phoenix: I did everything...every dn thing she told me to...and she promised to let me come see them...she promised...I even told her I'd stop loving you...that I'd give you up...if she just...if she just stopped hiding them from me...but she laughed....said I was doomed to love you and never....never see them again....she taunted me...and now...now it doesnt even matter...because they're gone and I can't ever get them back...*a small cry escapes my lips as another torrent of tears drip over my cheeks*
Caiden: -softly- it doesn't matter what she said phoenix...not now...-swallows a little, touching your shoulder softly-
Phoenix: it does to me! she stole my life away, Cai! All that I had that made me want to live...she snatched away...and she got the easy way out...she's sitting in a fucking home somewhere, not remembering anything...so she can be innocent....and me...my innocence got torn to pieces... *looks down at the ground, still shaking a bit, but my tears finally starting to dry up*
Caiden: -touchs your cheek, softly, thumbing over it- she can't hurt you anymore, nix... not unless you keep letting her... your parents... -bites my lip a little- they loved you so much, phoenix... they wouldn't want you to... to keep reliving what she did...
Phoenix: *nuzzles my cheek against your hand, enjoying the tender caress* I wouldn't...be reliving it...if you hadn't brought me here *says it quietly, a statement of fact, not an accusation-and glance up at you a bit* you know what the last thing they said to me was?
Caiden: -shakes my head softly- no... -watches you-
Phoenix: they told me...to take care of you....to be...to be your guardian angel...becauase they loved you like their own...and you...you made me smile like no one else could....they said to never let you go...
Caiden: -bites my lip, looking down before i go to hug you again, arms wrapped around you- you are my guardian angel, phoenix... -sighs a little-
Phoenix: *leans my head onto your shoulder, loosely holding my arms around your waist* but it wasn't me who saved you, Cai...you saved me...*closes eyes against another onslaught of tears and kisses your shoulder*
Caiden: -smiles, sadly, my fingers touching your back and drawing random shapes- please don't cry, nix... i... i brought you here because i wanted you... i didn't want her to be able to hide things from you... i always hated her the most for doing this to you... -hugs you a little tighter- your parents... they were more like parents to me than my own... and when you left, nix... i found them... i needed someone to talk to... -isnt sure if i should be saying this to you, afraid you'll break down again but needing to tell you- i told them everything... how much i missed you... and reese...
Phoenix: *peeks up at you, eyes glazed with unshed tears* i prayed i'd find you again, Cai...and I-I'm glad I did....and I....I think they would've liked that you came to them...they really did love you...and reese... *pauses* t-thank you for this, Cai....I really do appreciate it...
Caiden: -smiles softly at you- you're welcome, nix... -chews on my bottom lip,touching your hands softly before pulling away fully-
Phoenix: can we...can we please go now? I-I think I've cried enough for today...*shakily gets to feet, dusting off clothes-glancing at the gravestone again*
Caiden: -nods a little- uh huh... -kneels a little close to the gravestone, whispering something you can't hear to it, before i get up, swiping the grass of my ass before giving you a soft smile and grabbing your hand again-
Phoenix: *grips your hand a bit tighter as we walk back to the taxi and i let go of your hand to slide into the backseat* can you...take us to the Conrad, please
Caiden: -sits al ittle closer to you than last time, just looking out the window as we pass houses-
Phoenix: *leans head once more against the back of the seat-eyes closed again-my throat is raw from sobbing and my eyes burn-and those feelings of anxiety come crawling back-but i try my best to push the feelings away*
Caiden: -eyes widen when i realize where we are, yelling- STOP! -scoots over to the door as the driver stops, shoving open the door and walking quickly away to an abandoned house and up to its front door with a gulp before opening it, going inside and freezing in my spot-
Phoenix: *eyes fly open and i nearly sl into the back of the front seat as the taxi comes to a halt- scrble out of the car and run to catch up with you* Cai...what the hell was all that about?
Caiden: -swallows a little, my hands in fists as i walk out of the front room and into a hallway, going down it into the last room, shoving the door open, dust flying-
Caiden: -runs a hand through my hair, the other waving the dust in front of my face
Phoenix: *follows after you, no less confused, eyes flicking around the house we're in* Cai...hey, snap back to reality! where are we?
Caiden: -softly, looking over my shoulder at you and pointing to the wall near the window- i used to sleep.. right there... -sad smile- two years...
Phoenix: *thinks about it...the implications...- says softly* Chuck...
Caiden: -just nods a little- funny thing though... i was here for two years and i only remember liking it for two months... and out of all that time, i was almost always alone in here... -looks around at the walls-
Caiden: didn't look so bad in here then...
Caiden: -kicks at a piece of paper on the ground, walking further into the room and glancing at the nightstand off to the side- guess it was though... i just never really noticed... anything was better than my mums apartment... -just shrugs a little to myself- i guess nothing ever really felt like home to me... -stops in front of the nightstand there, kneeling down and dusting it off, fingering the letters there-
Phoenix: *all i can think to do is listen...not having been a part of your life during all of this*
Caiden: -looks back over at you- wouldnt happen to have a p-pocketknife would you? -voice a little shaky, feeling tears in my eyes as i read the words i remember carving into the stand-
Phoenix: actually.....yeah, i do *takes out keychain and pulls off the small pocketknife i'd put on there years ago, handing it to you*
Caiden: -offers a half smile, taking it and bringing the tip to the first ne, scratching it out roughly, pressing hard and digging deep into the wood, going to the word "forever" before i just stand up, shaking, and kick at the stand hard and send it sailing to the other wall with a frustrated sound-
Phoenix: *opens eyes wide a bit* *softly* bet you wish that was him, dont you?
Caiden: i wish a l-lot of things.... -kicks it again, the top breaking off and the wood cracking- i wish i'd never come here when i did... never let myself do what HEwanted to... i quit everything to do what he wanted...-kicks it a couple more times, pieces falling to the floor-
Caiden: and i let... i let him lock me up like some secret... and i fucking did EVERYTHING he asked... -throws the pocket knife against the mess on the floor, done kicking it, as i cross my arms, hugging them to myself-
Caiden: -looking down at the floor, shaking a little as i taste tears on my lips-
Phoenix: *wants to reach out to you, but doesn't, knowing you need to get it all out, whatever's been eating at you for all this time*- picks up a lp and hands it to you, small grin on my face*
Caiden: -looks at you, face red and eyes wet with tears as i take the lp- what the bloody hell i supposed to do with this!?
Phoenix: well, i thought that'd be obvious *grin widens*
Caiden: -hand tightly around it, glancing at it before hurling it against the wall with a crash, moving back a little as the shards go everywhere and i breathe in heavily- fuck... that felt good...
Phoenix: *hands you a book*
Caiden: -looks at it for a minute with a snort- this is my fucking book... -flips it open, tearing out pages with a shaky hand, letting them fall to the floor and throwing it across the room to the mirror stood up there, enjoying the cracking sound it makes before i notice a few photos where the smashed nightstand is-
Caiden: -goes over to it, flipping it over and grabbing them in my hands, seeing a picture from when i was there and wondering what the fuck its still doing there. holds up the next picture, one of my whole group of friends when i was -
Caiden: -letting you see it as i let tears fall down onto the stack in my hand, kneeling down now-
Caiden: -closes eyes, throwing them all down as both my hands come to my eyes, rubbing at them-
Phoenix: guess we both had a past we were running from, huh? but it always manages to come back to haunt us...
Caiden: -doesnt answer for a minute, letting myself fall down onto the floor now, the boards creaking under me as i let out a small sob, shaking my head- i let him ruin me... i let her ruin me... they all had control on me... and i let them... i just fucking let them shove me down...
Phoenix: i know how that one goes...*finally reaches out a hand and gently squeezes your shoulder*
Caiden: i should of left... when dad took reese... but i stayed here for him...f-for you... i didn't know you'd leave, too... i would have fucking left it behind if i knew i'd be alone... -shaking uncontrollably, legs pulled up against my chest now-
Caiden: it's like i make all the wrong choices...
Phoenix: *bites lip* you and me both, cai...
Caiden: -sits there for a minute, trying to calm myself down, breathing in heavily and wiping at my face-
Caiden: -looks over my shoulder and back at you- s-sorry for making you follow me in here...
Phoenix: ah well....you sat with me in the cemetary....consider us even
Caiden: -small smile, getting up and brushing myself off before turning at you, eyes red-
Caiden: we should...we should go...
Caiden: -standing close to you, looking up in your eyes
Phoenix: yeah...we should...come on...*puts one arm around you and leads you back out to the taxi* we need to get back to the hotel....the time for our flight's fast approaching... *opens door for you to get into the taxi before me*
Caiden: -swallows a little, scooting across the seat, silence over me-
Phoenix: *gets in* you can actually take us directly to the hotel now, no more pit stops, we promise
Caiden: -slumps down in my seat, giving a weak smile before i look out the window-
Phoenix: *the taxi arrives at the hotel before long and i get out, leaving the door open for you as i pay the driver*
Caiden: -follows you, walking through the hotels doors and to the elevator-
Phoenix: *push button for fourth floor and lean against the wall, waiting impatiently for the doors to open again, then i head down the hall to our room, unlocking the door and going over to get my bags*
Caiden: -follows, plopping down on the bed, bag in my hand and unzipping it, throwing clothes from the floor into it-
Caiden: i'm sorry about... today... i didn't think it would go like it did..
Phoenix: dont worry about it... *thinks about what i going to do as soon as we get back to adelaide-knowing you'll hate me but not particularly caring* *hoists bag over my shoulder and wait as you finish getting ready* *just a two hour flight, phoenix...then you can go...*
Caiden: -gets up, holding my bag in my hand- ready?
Caiden: -walks over to the door, looking down at te carpet-
Phoenix: as ready as i'll ever be....*follows you out the door and down to the lobby*
Caiden: -gets to the front desk, taking out my credit card to pay, putting my bag on my shoulder-
Phoenix: *all i want is to get aboard the plane as i watch you at the counter- those feelings i thought i'd maybe left behind are coming back and there is a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach* I'm gonna go hail a cab, ok?
Caiden: -nods, adjusting my bag and waiting for the credit card to process
Caiden: -
Phoenix: *go outside, grateful to be out in the fresh air as i take a deep, shaky breath- hails a taxi that is making its way down the
Phoenix: street*
Caiden: -comes outside, stopping beside you as the taxi pulls up-
Phoenix: *opens the door to let you get in first and then gets in after you* so....ready to go back home?
Caiden: -shrugs a little, letting my bag slide down my arm and holding it in my hand- not really...
Phoenix: *thinking well, i sure as hell * huh...well....im sure it's better than here....*glances out the window*
Caiden: -shrugs again, toying with my pant leg as we drive towards the airport-
Phoenix: *as soon as we arrive there, i resist the urge to launch out of the taxi-but instead wait until the taxi comes to a stop and get out casually-waiting for you*
Caiden: -gets out with a small sigh, paying the driver once more and going to the doors-
Phoenix: *follows behind you, heading towards the boarding gate just as the lady at the counter is calling our flight*
Caiden: -gets there, gives her my ticket and runs my bag through the thing, stepping through the detector and waiting for you on the other side-
Phoenix: *goes through the motions and comes up behind you, walking with my head a little down as i go t o board the plane- finds our seats and slumps down in the aisle seat*
Caiden: -walks over you, our seats in the middle of the plane, and sits down in my seat a little rigidly-
Phoenix: *fiddles with the zipper on my hoodie, looking at everything but you-wondering how long this two hour flight is really gonna last*
Caiden: -quietly, snuggling down in my seat and feeling a little tired- i'm going to miss you when you go back to london...
Phoenix: yeah...i'll miss you too...when i decide to leave...*wondering how much you'll hate me when you find out im leaving after we get back to adelaide-the letter id written seeming to burn a hole in my bag*
Caiden: -puts my head against my hand, smirking up at you a little, head against the back of the seat before i close my eyes, trying to fall asleep-
Phoenix: *glances over at you, thanking god for small miracles as i see that you are falling asleep- only two hours....only two....*
Caiden: -practicaly passes out, the actions of last night from the concert to when we slept taking a toll-
Phoenix: *sighes a little, knowing there's no way i can go to sleep- chews lip...as i lean over and sneak the letter into your bag and wait impatiently for the flight to end*
Caiden: -wakes up as the announcer says something about landing, stretching a little and looking next to me at you-
Phoenix: *gives you a small, fake smile* hello sleepyhead
Caiden: -quietly- hey...
Phoenix: so...can't wait to get down on solid ground *chuckles half-heartedly*
Caiden: me neither... i'm sick of moving around...
Caiden: i actually feel like going home and curling up on my futon for once...
Phoenix: well....i'll make sure to drop you off first...
Caiden: -nods a little as the plane lands- you going back to the hoel... or?
Phoenix: or what?
Caiden: -shrugs- nothing...
Phoenix: no....you were gonna say something *nudges you*
Caiden: -shrugs a little- was gonna ask if you wanted to just stay over and hang out.. but i think you've had enough of me...-small smile
Phoenix: i could never get enough of you, cai...but im kinda tired...maybe we can hang out after i've had a nap...*feels a bit guilty lying to you, not knowing why*
Caiden: oh... yeah... -small smile, getting up from my seat now- later works, too...
Phoenix: *smiles forcibly as i get up and follow you- after getting our bags and handing you yours, i flag a taxi and slide in, telling the driver the address to your place*
Caiden: -hums a song playing in my head, the cab stopping at my house in minutes and i grab my bag in my hand-
Phoenix: soo....er....see you later....
Caiden: -nods a little- call me whenever... alright? -opens the cab door, getting out and shutting it, giving a small wave-
Phoenix: *manage a little wave before telling the driver to go to the airport, thinking in the back of my mind what will happen when you find the letter*
Caiden: -gets out my keys, opening my front door and shutting it behind me, going to my room and tossing my bag down without bothering to unpack right now-
Phoenix: *arrives at the airport, paying the driver and heading into the airport, getting the ticket i reserved from the counter and shuffling over to the boarding gate-as i walk down the short hallway to get onto the plane, tears start to fill my eyes- i slump into my seat, waiting only a little while before the plane lifts off, and then i look down at adelaide as it fades away, a single tear dripping over my cheek*
Caiden: -curls up on my bed, hugging my pillow and falling asleep for hours-
Caiden: -wakes up and its darkening out, stretching a little and getting up, turning on my desktop and going to my bag, emptying it-
Phoenix: *lies back in seat, wondering about you and not wanting to- closes eyes as tears start to fall*
Caiden: -dumps out the bag on my floor, seeing a white envelope flutter from it and falling down to the floor-
Caiden: -eyes it for a moment before i take it up between my fingers, opening it slowly and pulling out the sheet there. reads it, biting my lip at the words and feeling a harsh regret in the pit of my stomach, knowing you're gone back to london-
Phoenix: *pulls on headphones, setting ipod on random, and the song "How Did I Fall in Love With You" comes on.....feels chest constrict as i bite my lip to stop a sob and more tears fall*
Caiden: -lets the letter fall, receding back to my spot under the covers, barely noticing tears falling down my face as i curl up to my pillow again-
Phoenix: *feels a split second moment of regret as i pick up my phone and dial your number*
Caiden: -head shoots up, hearing my phone ring-
Phoenix: *chews on bottom lip as part of me doesnt want you to answer, but another greater part of me does*
Caiden: -finds my phone on the floor next to my bed, flipping it open without looking at the id- hello?
Phoenix: *takes a shaky breath* cai...
Caiden: h...hi... -sniffs back tears-
Caiden: why... why did you write me a LETTER phoenix? why couldnt you just tell me...
Phoenix: because....because every time i told you, you wouldn't listen....and well...words on a paper couldn't be taken back....
Caiden: i dont...i dont know what that means...-looks down at the blanket, crossing arms-
Caiden: i thought we were just friends now... i didnt think...
Phoenix: no...you didn't think...at least not about anyone but you..dmit, cai....you were lying to me....i know you were....YOU know you were!
Caiden: i dont know what you're talking about, phoenix...-quietly, sniffing again-
Caiden: -lying through my teeth and knowing it-
Caiden: does it really matter what i feel anyways, phoenix? i've got my life set out for me now.
Caiden: i've got things where i WANT them to be for once.
Caiden: and no one is controlling me but ME
Caiden: i just...goddamnit phoenix...we have to stop doing this to each other.
Phoenix: doing what?!?! all i've done is tell you the truth and you've fucked me over time after time after time....Fine!!!! Lie to me! Lie to yourself! But when Kieren fails you just like Chuck did...I'm not gonna be your fucking backup!
Caiden: kieren loves me too, phoenix... and i love him... you just want me to break his heart so that you can have some sort of comfort knowing i'd be yours?
Caiden: you came too late phoenix, and you expect me to just throw away things ive gained
Caiden: and even if you were to tell me you'd wait around for me... do you really think i'd let you waste your time on me?
Phoenix: you're right, cai....god, you're so right...*is choking on a sob but i have to speak* i too late...i tried and it didn't make a dn bit of difference...you love him! you wanna be with him! ok....I won't waste anymore of your time or mine....but i know you, even though you think i don't...and a part of you inside, even if you love him as much as you say you do, is miserable! horribly miserable!
Caiden: -snaps at you- a part of me will always be miserable, phoenix. what makes you think you could change it.
Phoenix: i dont know...wishful thinking *is crying openly now* i guess i thought i could be enough to save you, because thats what you did for me...but i was wrong...im sorry...i ruined you and im sorry....burn the letter, be....*swallows* be happy with kieren, because you deserve that...and me....i will disappear and never hurt you again
Caiden: i dont want you to disappear... i dont want you to save me... it's not you that ruined me...
Phoenix: *takes a deep shaky breath- hisses* well, sometimes we dont get what we want...how can you expect me to stick around? what is there you can possibly tell me that will make me want to *is getting increasingly irritable and is this close to hanging up*
Caiden: fine. you know what? i wasn't even going to talk to you about this letter. but you know what, now that you've got me on the subject of us, would you like to know why I lie to you? because i don't want to fuck what i have! i don't want to risk having everything get fucked up. everything was fine until you came back. and then you make me question him just because he's all the bloody fucking way back in London. And you know what? I DO LOVE YOU PHOENIX! I FUCKING DO.
Phoenix: *breath catches for a moment- then starts laughing uncontrollably*
Caiden: OH FUCK YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT...JUST BECAUSE I'M SICK OF TAKING CHANCES DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT...GODDAMNIT PHOENIX!
Caiden: what the BLOODY hell is wrong with wanting things to be okay in my life
Phoenix: *stops laughing* there's nothing....*giggles* nothing wrong with that at all...except for one little thing, if he is so perfect, and he's so the one for you...why was is it so easy to make you question him? you could've told me no...you could've made me back off..but no! you didn't Cai! even after our whole "just friends" discussion, you took advantage of it all in our hotel room in brisbaine...so how can i believe anything you've said when all you ever do is contradict yourself?
Caiden: -my voice very quiet now, taken aback and now really knowing what to say to you anymore- did it ever occur to you that you make me question everything in my life phoenix? every time... i wanted to know what it would be like with you... but it didnt help me make up my mind about what i should do... i still make choices that end in you and me fighting
Phoenix: im not trying to make you question yourself, Cai...damit...if you really, truly in the bottom of your heart believe that kieren is better for you, then i will give you my blessings and hope that you find happiness with him
Caiden: i obviously don't know whats better for me though, do i? i've got benji and reese both telling me what i should do... brisbane was a fuck up... i shouldnt of done anything... but i do love you. if you want me to stop hurting you, maybe we should stop talking... because i guess i dont know whats best
Phoenix: *quietly* it would hurt me more if we didn't talk....you...you're the one good thing in my life, Cai....and maybe im not that for you....but i can't make your choices...i can't tell you to choose me...maybe kieren is better for you...maybe he's the guy you need to be with...because obviously we could never be what i thought we could be
Caiden: i need to see... i want to know whats in store for me and him, phoenix... i'm just... i'm tired of chances...-softly-
Caiden: i can't say what me and you would be... neither of us can know what you and i... what we could be...
Caiden: i can't go through my life wondering what i might have had... does that... do you get what i'm saying?
Caiden: and i'm not asking you to wait for me... even if i'd want you to... i can't do that to you... i don't expect that of you... of anyone....
Phoenix: i get what you're saying.....of course i do....it's fine, Cai...it's peachy fucking keen...you go find your life with him....and I hope it's all you've hoped for
Caiden: i plan to
Phoenix: *grits teeth* but you just know one thing....your prince charming will never EVER love you like I do...never...you can delude yourself into thinking that...make it like i'd hurt you like chuck did justr so you have an excuse....but you know better...i NOT chuck! i NOT kieren...I me! that's all i can be! I was willing to give you everything and nothing....whatever it was you needed....but apparantly that just isnt worth it to you....
Phoenix: so dont take a chance on me! fine! fuck it! fuck it all!
Caiden: you say that...but neither of us can know that as a fact.
Caiden: even if you think it is...
Caiden: and youve told me
Caiden: youve said you would wait for me. but i dont want you to. i didnt even want you to entertain the thought... i fucked up in brisbane... i fucked up a lot...
Phoenix: so what you're saying is it was all a mistake *one hand is clenched into a fist at my side*
Caiden: -huffs- goddamnit, phoenix! i dont even know what to say anymore... everything that comes out isjust... wrong... i can't tell you how my mind works... i cant explain why i do things i do... it wasn't a mistake... being with you gave me too much to think about... i put myself in between two choices i never meant to...
Phoenix: *explodes* well then just take me out of the fucking equation because im done! im a fucking beyond done! you are NOT worth this! GOOD RIDDANCE! *slams phone shut, hurling it into my bag, shaking with anger but tears still managing to fall from my eyes*