x cutoutkid (3:58:20 PM): -mmm so like maybe... his parents didnt die... and he never nmoved away... and caiden is like... 22 now or something-
poisonbitterswt (4:02:02 PM): -sounds good to me, dear ;-)-
x cutoutkid (4:03:51 PM): -is at work.. or something... i dont know... pick a setting-
poisonbitterswt (4:06:49 PM): -hahah, um...okay- *walks into the music store and has an arm around Gwen's waist, talking to her and giving her a lesson in old school punk music*
x cutoutkid (4:07:20 PM): -peeks up at you from over a magazine, sitting behind the counter-
poisonbitterswt (4:20:23 PM): *she laughs and smacks my arm when i make a sarcastic remark and goes over to pick out the CDs she'd been looking for*
x cutoutkid (4:21:23 PM): -rolls eyes, flipping the page with a huff-
poisonbitterswt (4:25:50 PM): *i stand in the rock section, rifling through CDs and she calls over to me about some band or another, i reply and she giggles*
x cutoutkid (4:26:38 PM): -pretends i dont notice you there-
poisonbitterswt (5:05:24 PM): *rifles through a section of CDs, talking to her across the way, then she comes over and jumps on my back and i fake gasp, then laugh and take her over to the back counter as i pick up something i'd pre-ordered*
x cutoutkid (5:05:45 PM): -looks at you-
poisonbitterswt (5:08:05 PM): hey, caiden *smiles brightly as i hand you a slip, her nuzzling my neck*
x cutoutkid (5:08:47 PM): hey. -dully, taking it and turning around to look for what you ordered-
poisonbitterswt (5:12:14 PM): *swats at her a bit, smirk on face and she dangles her arms over my shoulders, the diamond ring glistening on her left hand*
x cutoutkid (5:12:53 PM): -scans the cd/dvd set and rambles off a price-
poisonbitterswt (5:26:16 PM): *takes out credit card and passes it over the counter to you*
x cutoutkid (5:26:37 PM): -swipes it through the machine quietly and hands it back-
poisonbitterswt (5:29:13 PM): *tucks it in my wallet again and signs the screen*
x cutoutkid (5:29:48 PM): -doesnt say anything to you, handing you your bag-
poisonbitterswt (12:46:15 AM): --heheh sure. dinnertime ;-)--
x cutoutkid (12:47:09 AM): -knocks on the door, hair in my eyes and looking a bit um..unruly-
poisonbitterswt (12:50:23 AM): *Gwen answers the door, giggling as usual* hi, caiden...come on in, everyone's in the dining room
x cutoutkid (12:51:14 AM): -bits back the urge to groan in annoyance, stepping inside and following her-
poisonbitterswt (12:54:37 AM): *is in the dining room, talking with my parents and laughing a bit at Kendall*
x cutoutkid (12:55:11 AM): -looks at kendall a little before giving your mum a hug-
poisonbitterswt (12:59:54 AM): *Kendall waves at you, rolling eyes at Gwen and sticking out tongue, crossing eyes when no one's looking*
x cutoutkid (1:00:49 AM): -laughs a little and comes to sit beside him, not looking at you-
x cutoutkid (1:19:57 AM):
poisonbitterswt: *Kendall waves at you, rolling eyes at Gwen and sticking out tongue, crossing eyes when no one's looking*
x cutoutkid: -laughs a little and comes to sit beside him, not looking at you-
poisonbitterswt (1:34:40 AM): *Kendall leans over "You do know what this is about, right?"*
x cutoutkid (1:34:57 AM): -looks at him oddly- no...
x cutoutkid (1:35:21 AM): unless its to show off their engagement some more. -mutter-
poisonbitterswt (1:38:29 AM): *Kendall swallowed "Oh man..."*
x cutoutkid (1:39:14 AM): -looks at him, then hears some kind of clinking noise across the table. its like you havent even noticed im here-
poisonbitterswt (1:42:20 AM): *my dad stands up a nd has a huge grin on his face* as you all know, Phoenix and Gwen are getting married...but what we're here to celebrate tonight is their upcoming move to the States.
x cutoutkid (1:43:02 AM): -feels my muscles stiffen up a bit, looking at Kendall-
poisonbitterswt (1:44:06 AM): *Kendall looks at you a bit sadly "I thought you knew.." he whispered*
x cutoutkid (1:44:50 AM): -quietly sets a glass down id been drinking from, lowering my head and walking past everyone sitting down-
poisonbitterswt (1:45:33 AM): *Kendall gets up "He's...feeling sick...I'm gonna...take him home...er yeah..." he catches up with you "Cai...wait"
x cutoutkid (1:46:07 AM): -shakes head, crossing an arm over my stomach as i go outside-
poisonbitterswt (1:48:50 AM): *He grabs your arm. "Cai....come on..."
x cutoutkid (1:49:36 AM): what? -turns around and looks at you-
poisonbitterswt (1:51:23 AM): *He flinched and bit his lip* "I...I should've warned you...I'm sorry."
x cutoutkid (1:51:48 AM): and how would a warning changeanything?
poisonbitterswt (1:54:19 AM): "I don't know..." *he shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets*
x cutoutkid (1:57:24 AM): -nods a little- i'm gonna g-go...-voice starting to sound overwhelmingly depressed-
poisonbitterswt (1:59:42 AM): "Caiden...please....don't be like this..." *he touches your arm gently*
x cutoutkid (2:00:04 AM): -just looks at you-
poisonbitterswt (2:02:52 AM): *he sighs and rubs your arm* "You could always tell him, ya know...?"
x cutoutkid (2:03:28 AM): tell him what, exactly?
poisonbitterswt (2:05:39 AM): "That you don't want him to leave..."
x cutoutkid (2:06:05 AM): thatd be pretty selfish, wouldnt it?
poisonbitterswt (2:06:43 AM): *he shrugged* "Why? She's dragging him to another country for her. Why can't you tell him to stay?"
x cutoutkid (5:17:07 PM):
poisonbitterswt: *he shrugged* "Why? She's dragging him to another country for her. Why can't you tell him to stay?"
x cutoutkid: because they'll fight about it. and then i'll be the one they blame for it. >
x cutoutkid (2:07:34 AM): because they'll fight about it. and then i'll be the one they blame for it.
poisonbitterswt (5:20:06 PM): "And if you never tell him and he goes off and gets married to that...Bimbo Barbie....things will be shite"
x cutoutkid (5:20:40 PM): fine by me. its what he wants.
poisonbitterswt (5:29:04 PM): *he furrowed his brows* "No, it's what he's settling for."
x cutoutkid (5:30:25 PM): i dont want to talk about this anymore, alright? -voice pained-
poisonbitterswt (5:31:58 PM): *he bit his lip* "All right...I'm sorry..."
x cutoutkid (5:32:42 PM): it doesnt matter to him that hes leavbing his best friend behind... or else he wouldnt be doing it.
poisonbitterswt (5:36:07 PM): "He's leaving everyone behind, Caiden, not just you. He's going off and starting some life with that girl that everyone acts as if she's some gift from God!"
x cutoutkid (5:36:51 PM): maybe she is. -bitterly-
poisonbitterswt (5:39:41 PM): *he rolled his eyes* "She is not! She's...fake!"
x cutoutkid (5:40:01 PM): we're the only ones who seem to think so
poisonbitterswt (5:44:28 PM): *he grumbled under his breath* "Not necessarily...but whatever....nothing's gonna change. He'll be off in New York soon enough."
x cutoutkid (5:45:04 PM): right. go back in there and tell phoenix i said to fuck off. -getting my keys out-
poisonbitterswt (5:50:34 PM): *he rose a brow.* "Fine. I will." *he trudged back to the house, opened the front door and yelled. "Nix! Caiden said to fuck off! And I agree!" *he slammed the door shut and walked back down to you* "There."
x cutoutkid (5:51:05 PM): -swallows a little and opens the car door, getting annoyed when it sticks... old car-
poisonbitterswt (5:55:35 PM): *he bit his lip* "Cai...let me take you for a drink or something, mate..."
x cutoutkid (5:56:10 PM): why? -looks at you-
poisonbitterswt (6:01:30 PM): "I dont know...just because I don't feel like going back in there...and I feel like just as much shite as you do."
x cutoutkid (6:02:46 PM): and why don't you tell him?
x cutoutkid (6:02:49 PM): you're his cousin.
poisonbitterswt (6:11:53 PM): "You think I haven't said anything?"
x cutoutkid (6:13:52 PM): i dont know what youve done! -huffs a little-
poisonbitterswt (6:36:57 PM): *he sighes* "All right, all right....no need to get pissy with me."
x cutoutkid (6:38:09 PM): -holds hand out towards the house- see? he doesnt even give a fuck.
poisonbitterswt (6:49:31 PM): *he frowned and looked to the house* "I guess not..." he mumbled
x cutoutkid (6:49:52 PM): so i guess thats the cue to go get trashed. lets go, then/.
poisonbitterswt (6:58:30 PM): (wanna continue with Kendall and Cai in here, or should I bring on Kendall's SN? lol)
x cutoutkid (6:59:09 PM): [hahaha in here works. cuz if we do it there itll get all confuddled log wise] -end up at a bar-
poisonbitterswt (7:11:43 PM): Kendall sat on the edge of his stool, fiddling with a bottle of beer
x cutoutkid (7:12:17 PM): -has a bunch of glasses in front of me, shots of this and that- we should dance... or something
x cutoutkid (7:12:35 PM): or at least make out... -giggles, looking at some couple pressed into a wall-
poisonbitterswt (7:22:44 PM): *he smirked and finished off the rest of his beer* i'll take both...for 100 hundred, Alex
x cutoutkid (7:23:28 PM): -laughs- iom not alex, kendall. -smirking, sliding off the barstool-
poisonbitterswt (7:36:06 PM): *he rolled his eyes* i knowww that. i know what your name is. It's C-A-I....D-E...N...
x cutoutkid (7:36:34 PM): you are sooo hilarious. -slaps money on the bar for the guy-
poisonbitterswt (7:43:51 PM): *he chuckled* I know...i should have a stand-up act
x cutoutkid (7:51:05 PM): -smirks, walking and stumbling a little-
poisonbitterswt (7:56:17 PM): * he heads after you, shaking head a little* man, i don't even know how much i drank
x cutoutkid (7:57:27 PM): remembering shit is overrated.
poisonbitterswt (8:11:18 PM): *he chuckled and headed to the dance floor* true...very true
x cutoutkid (8:11:49 PM): -sneaks in between people, dnacing-
poisonbitterswt (8:19:19 PM): *he closed his eyes and danced in the middle of the floor, swaying hips and letting head fall back*
x cutoutkid (8:21:40 PM): -makes way over to him, pressing against his ass-
poisonbitterswt (8:27:58 PM): *he smirked a bit, eyes still closed and grinded back against you*
x cutoutkid (8:30:47 PM): -lips part in silent appreciation, touching kendall's hips-
poisonbitterswt (8:38:38 PM): *he reaches arms back, sliding hands down your sides and dances against you*
x cutoutkid (8:39:10 PM): -lets eyes close, breathing in the hot air around us and his scent-
poisonbitterswt (8:49:08 PM): *he turned, facing you and pressed his hips against yours, eyes opening and roaming over you*
x cutoutkid (8:49:48 PM): -tilts head back a little, touching his hips and pressing harder-
poisonbitterswt (8:57:57 PM): *he whispers huskily* you're making me hard, caiden...
x cutoutkid (8:58:48 PM): -shivers without warning, finally opening my eyes and looking at him-
poisonbitterswt (9:08:38 PM): *he stares into your eyes and his own are dark*
x cutoutkid (9:10:39 PM): -swallows a little, not breaking the look-
poisonbitterswt (9:23:46 PM): *his hands rest just above your ass, pressing into you again this time to let you feel him*
x cutoutkid (9:25:10 PM): -contemplates whether i should move away or not and says fuck it, grabbing his wrists and dragging him to the back of the club-
poisonbitterswt (9:28:16 PM): *he smirks a bit as you drag him, licking over his lips and watching your ass as you walk in front of him*
x cutoutkid (9:32:08 PM): -brings you to the back and presses you into the wall, sliding my hand down your pants and gripping there-
poisonbitterswt (9:35:19 PM): *he lets out a throaty groan and touches your wrist, head hitting back against the wall*
x cutoutkid (9:35:53 PM): -feels my groin tighten again, palming you and looking at your face-
poisonbitterswt (5:46:24 PM): *his mouth falls open, licking over his bottom lip as he arches against your hand*
x cutoutkid (5:47:45 PM): -smirks, leaning against the wall a little and jerking fast-
poisonbitterswt (5:50:42 PM): *his fingers dig in your wrist, while his other hand comes around and presses into your lower back*
x cutoutkid (5:53:13 PM): -buries lips in your neck, sighing-
poisonbitterswt (6:31:32 PM): *he lifts your chin and presses their lips together in a rough, wet kiss*
x cutoutkid (6:32:49 PM): -groans a little bit, kissing back lazily-
poisonbitterswt (6:49:39 PM): *he cradles the back of your head, tangling fingers there and tugging slightly, nipping at your bottom lip*
x cutoutkid (7:06:47 PM): -presses against your leg, stroking harder-
poisonbitterswt (7:11:47 PM): *his breath came out sharply as he yanked at your hair, exposing your neck and sucking there*
x cutoutkid (7:12:55 PM): -reality of what im doing really hasnt sunk in, moaning a little louder as the music pounds through the walls-
poisonbitterswt (7:23:29 PM): *he bites at your throat, sucking harder and licking the spot, grinding up against your hand, my free hand coming down and clenching your ass*
x cutoutkid (7:24:09 PM): -presses thumb hard against the top of your cock, rocking against your side-
poisonbitterswt (7:26:48 PM): *he lets out a gasp, muttering an obscenity as his stomach tightens*
x cutoutkid (7:29:56 PM): -moans, pressing lips against your ear hard-
poisonbitterswt (7:31:18 PM): *he growls suddenly and picks you up, wrapping your legs around him and slamming you into the wall, attacking your throat with his lips*
x cutoutkid (7:31:52 PM): -head hits back against the wall, hard against you-
poisonbitterswt (7:34:35 PM): *he kisses down your throat, hands roaming over your stomach and sliding slowly under the band of your pants*
x cutoutkid (7:35:11 PM): -hands touch your shoulders- k-kendall...
poisonbitterswt (7:38:34 PM): *he pauses for a moment and looks up at you* what?
x cutoutkid (7:40:19 PM): i don't think we should....
poisonbitterswt (7:44:21 PM): *he nods a bit* right...*he quickly lets go of you and lets you drop to the floor*
x cutoutkid (7:45:00 PM): -swallows a little nervouslty, not sure now at all-
poisonbitterswt (7:46:57 PM): i'm just...going to go to the bathroom....*he quickly heads away from you, cheeks burning in embarrassment now*
x cutoutkid (7:48:24 PM): -curses at self and digs for keys, making my way to the outside-
poisonbitterswt (7:54:17 PM): *he splashes water on his face, then lets out a breath, before heading back out through the club to the outside* can you drop me back at my car at least so i can go home?
x cutoutkid (7:55:08 PM): -just nods a little, opening the car door-
poisonbitterswt (7:59:19 PM): *he slides into the passenger side and slumps in seat, arms over chest and staring out the window*
x cutoutkid (8:03:36 PM): -pulls out of the parking lot and guns it down the street-
poisonbitterswt (8:09:22 PM): *he fiddles with the strings of his hoodie, feeling his stomach twisting in knots, and not pleasantly*
x cutoutkid (8:12:36 PM): -pulls up outside the house where you left your car-
poisonbitterswt (8:14:03 PM): *he grabs his bag from the floor of the car and yanks open the door, moving to get out and forgetting i'm belted in, fiddles with the seatbelt in frustration and finally gets it undone*
x cutoutkid (8:17:34 PM): i'm sorry.-suddenly-
poisonbitterswt (8:20:01 PM): *he looks to you* sorry for what? coming onto me? getting me hot and bothered? Or are you sorry for using me to keep your mind off phoenix? *he felt hurt, inexplicably and he just shook his head* save your sorries, caiden...it's fine *he got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him*
x cutoutkid (8:22:20 PM): -rolls the window down- its not fine, kendall!
poisonbitterswt (8:26:53 PM): *he turned, eyes saddened* no, you're right, it's not...i was your friend and i let it go too far...and i just got used...so whatever, cai...forget it
x cutoutkid (8:27:16 PM): i wasnt thinking
poisonbitterswt (8:34:00 PM): *he felt a sting in his heart* thanks...thanks a fucking lot...*he shook his head and bit back anything else he wanted to say, getting his keys out of his bag*
x cutoutkid (8:35:10 PM): kendall! -voice stressed out-
poisonbitterswt (8:38:59 PM): *he turned again* what?!
x cutoutkid (8:39:40 PM): i... don't walk away like this... i dont' want you to be mad at me
poisonbitterswt (8:44:36 PM): *he snorted* a bit too late for that, cai...maybe you shouldn't have picked me to fuck around with
x cutoutkid (8:45:32 PM): i didnt... kendall.. i didnt pick you! it just fucking happened!
poisonbitterswt (8:49:46 PM): *he nodded* no, it didn't happen...you stopped it like it was some fucking game...well, i don't play games
x cutoutkid (8:51:34 PM): I STOPPED BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK WE SHOULD GO THAT FUCKING FAR!
poisonbitterswt (8:56:08 PM): YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, CAIDEN! Because a stupid part of you deep inside still loves him and you'll NEVER get over it! *he stormed to his car, agitated and the hurt prickling below the surface*
x cutoutkid (8:56:53 PM): -opens mouth to say soemthing in response but instead guns the engine again and speeeds towards my house-
poisonbitterswt (9:08:22 PM): *he gets in his car and drives off to his flat, getting inside and sitting on the edge of the couch, head pounding as he hangs it in his hands*
x cutoutkid (9:08:56 PM): -doesnt make it to his house, falling asleep in the car-
poisonbitterswt (9:16:11 PM): *he tore off his clothes and slumped back onto the couch in his boxers, pressing a pillow over his face*
x cutoutkid (9:16:22 PM): -sleeps in the car-
poisonbitterswt (9:21:16 PM): *when he awakened in the morning he had a slight hangover and a message on his machine from an irate, cursing phoenix--he erased the message without fully listening to it and went to take a shower*
x cutoutkid (9:23:53 PM): -wakes up in the backseat of my car, my head pounding-
poisonbitterswt (9:25:20 PM): *he got out of the shower, dressed and made a light breakfast after taking some aspirin*
x cutoutkid (9:26:35 PM): -fixes the seat, cracking my neck with a small groan before starting the car-
poisonbitterswt (9:27:39 PM): *he sat at the counter, eating eggs and staring out the window*
x cutoutkid (9:28:51 PM): -stopping at the stop sign, i looked both ways and bit my lip... phoenix... or kendall. i turned right and took off towards phoenixs house, knocking on his door when i got there-
poisonbitterswt (9:31:34 PM): *looks up from the box i'm packing and then gets to my feet, making way through the boxes to the door and opens it*
x cutoutkid (9:32:08 PM): -stands there, dress shirt ruffled-
poisonbitterswt (12:32:55 AM): *raises a brow* after telling me to fuck off via my cousin, didn't think I'd see you around
x cutoutkid (12:34:57 AM): right, well I'm here to do it to your face then. You're a selfish bastard. You don't think about anyone else but her... not even yourself... and you've been ignoring me everytime you'
x cutoutkid (12:34:59 AM): ve seen me.
poisonbitterswt (12:40:35 AM): *looks at you and shakes head* I'm a selfish bastard because I'm not making my fiancee give up her dream. Well, thanks. You've got me pegged, hmm? And you have it all wrong, Caiden. You're the one that's ignored me...so get your facts straight
x cutoutkid (12:41:44 AM): -clenchs jaw a little bit- bullshit. I've seen you loads of times and you barely even LOOK at me.
poisonbitterswt (12:44:39 AM): *arches brow* That what you really think, huh? That I just forgot about you?
x cutoutkid (12:45:16 AM): you're moving AREN'T you? You're GETTING married AREN'T YOU?"
x cutoutkid (12:47:06 AM): where in any of that are you thinking about me? I'm supposed to be your best friend.
poisonbitterswt (12:49:19 AM): What the hell does any of that have to do with you?! It's my life, Caiden! Was I supposed to consult you and ask if I could get married and move?
x cutoutkid (12:50:15 AM): just... fucking forget it. have fun at your weddding. -opens the door and walks back out-
poisonbitterswt (12:51:54 AM): *shakes head and stands there* you act as if we were fucking lovers, Caiden! Like I had to tell you every thing! Fuck...*growls and shuts the door*
x cutoutkid (12:52:36 AM): -feels my heart clench in my chest, freezing in my spot-
poisonbitterswt (12:53:35 AM): *goes back to packing boxes, muttering under my breath*
x cutoutkid (12:56:11 AM): -presses a hand to my cheek, wiping away tears and smudged eyeliner-
poisonbitterswt (12:59:20 AM): *Gwen came out of the bathroom after a shower and gave me a kiss on the top of the head* You going to keep pretending, Nixie? Soon enough we're going to be in New York, and then it'll be too late...*with that she was gone again to get dressed and I just focused on my packing*
x cutoutkid (1:00:43 AM): -finds self driving back home, hands clenched on the steering wheel as i go to kendalls, pulling up in his driveway-
poisonbitterswt (1:04:53 AM): *he is curled up on the sofa, reading a medical book and his glasses perched on the edge of his nose*
x cutoutkid (1:06:10 AM): -sighs, knocking on his door and rubbing my forehad-
poisonbitterswt (1:10:30 AM): it's open *calls out, thinking it's the study partner from med school that had called for help*
x cutoutkid (1:11:07 AM): -steps in, toeing my shoes off, and walks quietly to where you are-
poisonbitterswt (1:13:53 AM): *he looks up and startles* you are definitely not my study partner...
x cutoutkid (1:14:31 AM): -opens mouth a little and closes it again, fidgeting a little- sorry...
poisonbitterswt (1:15:32 AM): *he shook his head, sitting up a bit and setting aside the book* stop apologizing, caiden
x cutoutkid (1:16:32 AM): well what do you want me to say? i just scared you.
poisonbitterswt (1:17:01 AM): *chuckles* all right, fine. apology accepted
x cutoutkid (1:17:19 AM): -smiles just a little bit, faint grey streaks on my cheeks-
poisonbitterswt (1:18:01 AM): *gets up and goes to the bathroom, wetting a washcloth and bringing it back to you*
x cutoutkid (1:18:27 AM): -just kinda looks at you-
poisonbitterswt (1:22:36 AM): *rolls eyes and steps forward, wiping at your stained cheeks*
x cutoutkid (1:24:48 AM): oh... -bites lipa little-
poisonbitterswt (1:25:28 AM): there...all gone....*smiles softly and drops the washcloth to his side*
x cutoutkid (1:25:50 AM): thanks...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (1:26:37 AM): *nods a bit and goes back into the bathroom to set the washcloth over the bar attached to the wall*
x cutoutkid (1:27:12 AM): -sits down on the couch quietly-
poisonbitterswt (1:29:55 AM): *comes back out and plops back onto the couch, legs curled up* so...you want something to drink?
x cutoutkid (1:37:28 AM): -shakes head a little- i think i had enough
poisonbitterswt (1:37:56 AM): I didn't mean a drink like that *shakes head and taps on my knees*
x cutoutkid (1:38:48 AM): eithe rway... -shrugs it off-
poisonbitterswt (1:41:39 AM): right....*mumbles a nd grabs book again, attempting to read it*
x cutoutkid (1:42:15 AM): -sighs a little and turns to face you- i tried to talk to him
poisonbitterswt (1:44:41 AM): *looks up and raises brow* and apparently since you're here, it didn't go well
x cutoutkid (1:46:11 AM): yeah, i didn't get around to the "i love you" part. -grumbles-
poisonbitterswt (1:48:26 AM): *bites at lip and shakes head* you should've just jumped him
x cutoutkid (1:49:30 AM): -sighs- this is serious
poisonbitterswt (1:49:59 AM): i know that.....you jump him, make sure he can't get up and you make him listen *shrugs*
x cutoutkid (1:50:28 AM): -shakes head- forget it
poisonbitterswt (1:51:05 AM): all right then. you let him leave you live miserably ever after
x cutoutkid (1:52:29 AM): if it was supposed to happen he would know...
poisonbitterswt (1:53:33 AM): *nods a bit* of course...because no one ever had made a mistake and not realized a good thing when they saw it *remarks bitterly*
x cutoutkid (1:55:05 AM): kendall... if its supposed to happen wouldn't he feel the same fucking way? hes the one doing this, not me
x cutoutkid (1:55:08 AM): its up to him.
poisonbitterswt (1:57:01 AM): *looks at you and shakes head repeatedly* you are so fucking clueless, it hurts....*leans forward* you ever think he was doing this because he does feel the same way a nd is too much of a fucking pansy arse to say it? you know him as well as I do, if not more...have balls, caiden...
x cutoutkid (1:57:59 AM): WELL HE'S AN IDIOT THEN, ALRIGHT?
poisonbitterswt (1:58:27 AM): *throws up hands* no argument there
x cutoutkid (1:59:07 AM): -huffs and stands up-
poisonbitterswt (1:59:42 AM): *sighs and looks down at hands* it's not my place....i'm sorry i even opened my big mouth
x cutoutkid (2:00:30 AM): i want him to stay... i told him i wanted him to stay. if he loved me at all he would listen.
poisonbitterswt (2:02:41 AM): *looks up at you and frowns* maybe he's too damn stubborn for his own good
x cutoutkid (2:06:45 AM): fuck him then. -bitterly-
poisonbitterswt (2:10:40 AM): yeah....fuck him...*mutters and stares down at hands again*
x cutoutkid (2:14:07 AM): about last night...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (2:16:01 AM): don't, caiden...it's over with...it was stupid...let's just forget it, all right?
x cutoutkid (2:16:33 AM): -nods a little bit and sighs- right
poisonbitterswt (2:17:39 AM): *flicks on the tv and sits back against the couch* guess my stupid arse study partner didn't need help after all
x cutoutkid (2:18:16 AM): i'm gonna go then... need a shower anyways..-opens th edoor-
poisonbitterswt (2:18:57 AM): right...fine then
x cutoutkid (2:19:30 AM): have fun at the wedding. maybe you can find him a new best man,
poisonbitterswt (2:19:47 AM): *rolls eyes* I'm not going
x cutoutkid (2:20:20 AM): whys hthat? you in love with him to?
poisonbitterswt (2:21:08 AM): *glares at you* No, I'm not fucking in love with him! I can't even stand him right now! And I'm not watching him get married to bimbo barbie
x cutoutkid (2:22:02 AM): you think hed take a hint when two of his closeer friends dont show uyp.
poisonbitterswt (2:23:06 AM): *snorts* right...we'd have a better chance of him removing that stick up his arse
x cutoutkid (2:26:38 AM): -sighs, touching the door and then shutting it again, coming over to you and sitting beside you-
poisonbitterswt (2:27:31 AM): *glances over at you briefly* thought you were leaving?
x cutoutkid (2:28:03 AM): i was...-quietly, clasping and unclasping my hands-
poisonbitterswt (2:28:29 AM): and you arent' now because...?
x cutoutkid (2:29:34 AM): can we finish... -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (2:30:05 AM): *raises brows* finish what, caiden?
x cutoutkid (2:30:12 AM): last night.
poisonbitterswt (2:31:11 AM): *snorts again* you think i'm just going to let you use me like that again?
x cutoutkid (2:32:10 AM): i wasnt using you!
poisonbitterswt (2:33:11 AM): *rolls eyes* i forgot...you were just trying to forget my cousin
x cutoutkid (2:34:06 AM): no, kendall. i wasn't... i mean i was... when i was drinking... i really was... but i just... i wasnt seeing him when i danced with you... or for the rest of it... -swallows-
poisonbitterswt (2:34:57 AM): *stares at you for a long moment and licks over bottom lip* and what are you envisioning right now?
x cutoutkid (2:35:33 AM): i'm not sure...-quietly- but i really... really... want to go back to last night...
poisonbitterswt (2:36:25 AM): *pauses for another moment, then crooks a finger at you*
x cutoutkid (2:37:16 AM): -crawls over to you, lower my lips to yours without a word-
poisonbitterswt (2:38:39 AM): *encircles arms around your waist and pulls you flush against me, kissing you back hungrily*
x cutoutkid (2:39:15 AM): -settles more into your lap, parting my lips and the sound of our lips touching filling the air-
poisonbitterswt (2:40:22 AM): *strokes up and down your back, pushing you onto the couch and hovering over you*
x cutoutkid (2:40:51 AM): -parts legs as you do-
poisonbitterswt (2:41:17 AM): *presses between your legs and keeps hands at your sides, kissing you deeper*
x cutoutkid (2:41:58 AM): -reachs up, touching your cheeks and feeling the faint stubble there-
poisonbitterswt (2:44:10 AM): *nudges cheek against your hand and trails lips to your throat*
x cutoutkid (2:44:28 AM): -sighs, letting my eyes close-
poisonbitterswt (2:45:43 AM): *sucks at the bump of your adam's apple, rubbing at your hips*
x cutoutkid (2:46:05 AM): mmm...-sliding a hand to your enck-
poisonbitterswt (2:47:44 AM): *nips at the skin, running hands up under your shirt and playing with your nipples*
x cutoutkid (2:48:14 AM): -groans lightly in appreciation-
poisonbitterswt (2:50:12 AM): *rips open your shirt and lowers head to your chest, lapping at a nipple, then tugging at it with my teeth*
x cutoutkid (2:53:48 AM): -hips jerk up a little, feeling my nipples harder from the action-
poisonbitterswt (2:54:50 AM): *smirks and moves to the other, tugging at it hard and sucking*
x cutoutkid (2:55:51 AM): -sighs in content, looking down at you-
poisonbitterswt (2:58:08 AM): *kisses down your chest and to your stomach, licking around your belly button*
x cutoutkid (2:58:40 AM): -laughs a little as you do,, feeling it tickle-
poisonbitterswt (3:00:39 AM): *kisses your hipbone, then looks up at you*
x cutoutkid (3:01:51 AM): -smiles down at you-
poisonbitterswt (3:02:11 AM): *smirks and kisses just above the waistband of your pants*
x cutoutkid (3:03:02 AM): -laughs a little again-
poisonbitterswt (3:03:30 AM): *moves back up your body a nd stares at you* you are going to give a bloke a complex if you keep laughing like that
x cutoutkid (3:04:42 AM): tickles...-smiles warmly-
poisonbitterswt (3:04:58 AM): *shakes head a bit, smirking* ah, i see...
x cutoutkid (3:06:03 AM): sorry...-grins a bit- guess im not used to... that.
poisonbitterswt (3:06:22 AM): *chuckles* oh...right...then what are you used to?
x cutoutkid (3:07:34 AM): nothing....-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (3:07:59 AM): *furrows brows* what do you mean, nothing?
x cutoutkid (3:08:59 AM): -bites lip a little- just... all that... intimate... shit...
poisonbitterswt (3:09:53 AM): *reaches down and stroking your cheek* sorry, guess that's just how i am
x cutoutkid (3:11:34 AM): don't need to be sorry...-cheeks tinge red a bit-
poisonbitterswt (3:12:00 AM): *kisses at your cheeks, then your lips, softly*
x cutoutkid (3:12:30 AM): -lifts head up to kiss back, softly-
poisonbitterswt (1:12:36 AM): *cradles the back of your neck, kissing to the side of your mouth, other hand at your side*
x cutoutkid (1:15:34 AM): -sighs, tilting my head and capturing your lips-
poisonbitterswt (1:17:20 AM): can't even tease you, hmm? have to find y our way back to my lips? *smirks*
x cutoutkid (1:18:17 AM): i'm good at geography -jokes-
poisonbitterswt (1:19:26 AM): *laughs and kisses you back* apparently it seems that way
x cutoutkid (1:23:16 AM): -grins and puts arms up around your neck-
poisonbitterswt (1:23:52 AM): *pulls away after another long moment, lips red and kiss-swollen, staring down at you*
x cutoutkid (1:25:11 AM): -just smiles silently up at you-
poisonbitterswt (1:26:20 AM): *searches your face for a moment* exactly where were you envisioning this going...?
x cutoutkid (1:27:17 AM): which "this", exactly?
poisonbitterswt (1:27:40 AM): what do you mean, which 'this'? There's more than one?
x cutoutkid (1:28:14 AM): no i mean... this right now... or... this.
poisonbitterswt (1:29:26 AM): *raises brow* er.....right now?
x cutoutkid (1:29:48 AM): well... i was thinking whereever it did... it would.
poisonbitterswt (1:30:28 AM): *both brows arch now* oh like that wasn't confusing?
x cutoutkid (1:31:22 AM): just... -touchs your cheeks and starts to kiss you again-
poisonbitterswt (1:32:11 AM): *has the urge to pull away again, but just decides on pulling you back on top of me and returning the kiss*
x cutoutkid (1:32:37 AM): [hes under him buahha] -grins, sliding my hands down-
poisonbitterswt (1:38:13 AM): (i know that...kendall moved backwards and pulled caiden onto him) *wraps arms around your slender waist and kisses you deeper*
x cutoutkid (1:40:27 AM): [ah] -sighs, pressing against you lightly-
poisonbitterswt (1:41:22 AM): nuh uh, caiden..no grinding...*smirks and nips at your lip*
x cutoutkid (1:42:07 AM): wasnt trying to... -sucks at your lower lip-
poisonbitterswt (1:46:53 AM): *moans a bit and tilts head back, sliding tongue out to meet yours inside your mouth*
x cutoutkid (1:47:26 AM): -sighs, hands sliding down your arms-
poisonbitterswt (1:48:11 AM): *reaches for the bottom of your shirt and yanks it over your head*
x cutoutkid (1:52:52 AM): -looks down at you- so you can undress me... but i cant do this? -presses into you
poisonbitterswt (1:55:17 AM): *smirks again* i was teasing *winks and runs hands up your back*
x cutoutkid (1:59:21 AM): so was i. -brushes our lips together
poisonbitterswt (2:01:10 AM): *brings hands down to the back of your pants and slides them down off your hips*
x cutoutkid (2:09:12 AM): -wiggles out of them, hovering over you in my boxers-
poisonbitterswt (2:13:06 AM): *gaze roams over you for a moment before i lower my lips to your throat and place my hands on your ass*
x cutoutkid (2:14:03 AM): -smiles happily, my hands sliding up beneath your shirt-
poisonbitterswt (2:21:15 AM): *lifts arms to let you get the shirt off, then promptly cups your ass again, pulling you up on my lap a bit*
x cutoutkid (2:24:09 AM): -grins, pressing playfully back into your hands-
poisonbitterswt (2:25:16 AM): now that i like....lots...*murmurs against your lips, clenching your ass*
x cutoutkid (2:25:48 AM): mmm...-rolls hips down into you-
poisonbitterswt (2:28:33 AM): *meets your slight thrusts and slips hands under your boxers, touching your bare skin*
x cutoutkid (2:31:05 AM): -shivers a little, my hands low on your bare sides-
poisonbitterswt (2:33:07 AM): *moves your boxers down and tugs them off, throwing them aside and letting hands explored your nude body*
x cutoutkid (2:34:12 AM): -looks down at you, swallowing abit-
poisonbitterswt (2:36:06 AM): *meets your gaze* we can stop...just tell me and i'll let you leave
x cutoutkid (2:36:59 AM): -shakes head- no... -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (2:40:30 AM): *nods a bit and reaches down between us, slipping out of my pants and boxers, till i'm beneath you, naked and brushing your groin with mine*
x cutoutkid (2:41:00 AM): -shudders as my stomach tightens, licking my lips-
poisonbitterswt (2:41:42 AM): *reaches up, entangling fingers in your hair and kissing you again, moving slowly against you*
x cutoutkid (2:43:03 AM): -rolls hips, pressing you into the couch- [would be awesome if nix saw]
poisonbitterswt (2:46:05 AM): (what's he gonna do, leave in the middle of packing and just barge into kendall's flat? lololol) *tugs at your hair, arching up against your thrusts*
x cutoutkid (2:48:28 AM): [lmao the windows right there. plus i dunno. its just hot. hgaaah] -moans involunarilt-
poisonbitterswt (2:51:33 AM): (omg!) *phoenix made himself stop packing, at least long enough to go talk to his cousin, who had been ignoring him for days--he didn't expect what he saw through kendall's front window, and it stopped him dead* --runs hands up and down your ass and over the backs of your legs, grinding hard into you--
x cutoutkid (2:52:32 AM): [hehe i just like the jealously thing. im horrible] fuck me...? -whispers hotly-
poisonbitterswt (2:55:03 AM): *phoenix couldn't watch anymore, his stomach had already gone cold--he turned on his heel and made his way back to his car--he'd forget this, he had to* --looks up at you, licking over lower lip and simply nods--
x cutoutkid (2:57:12 AM): -moves to slide off you, i wanted to feel him on top of me-
poisonbitterswt (2:58:19 AM): *waits for a moment, then crawls on top of you, lifting up your legs to rest them on my shoulders--slides hands down your legs to your thighs and presses into you dry*
x cutoutkid (2:58:45 AM): -closes eyes, features scrunched in silent pain-
poisonbitterswt (12:16:20 PM): *rubs at your thighs and presses further into you, then simply thrusts myself in deep in one movement*
x cutoutkid (12:19:24 PM): -groans, hard and deep-
poisonbitterswt (12:27:54 PM): *cradles your back as i thrust into you, over and over at a steady rhythm*
x cutoutkid (12:28:32 PM): -reachs up, a hand touching your should and gripping there as i feel myself clench down around you-
poisonbitterswt (12:44:57 PM): *kisses at your chest , tugging at one of your nipples again and slamming hard inside of you*
x cutoutkid (12:46:13 PM): -my other hand goes to your hair, gripping the strands and bucking up against you-
poisonbitterswt (12:50:19 PM): *groans against your skin, biting the nipple now and sucking at it as my hips continue a feverish pace inside you*
x cutoutkid (12:51:02 PM): fuck... kendall...-whimpers-
poisonbitterswt (12:52:18 PM): *kisses back up to your lips and sucks on your lower lip, pulling out and slamming back in, one hand coming up to touch your leg*
x cutoutkid (12:53:33 PM): -tightens self around you, feeling my toes curl-
poisonbitterswt (12:54:30 PM): *growls at the feel of you tightening around me and presses in as deep as i can go, hitting resistence and grinning*
x cutoutkid (12:55:44 PM): -moans again, this time laced with pure pleasure-
poisonbitterswt (1:00:01 PM): *kisses at the side of your neck and rocks into you, hands holding onto your hips*
x cutoutkid (1:02:36 PM): -reachs a hand down between us, gripping self and jerking hard-
poisonbitterswt (1:06:27 PM): *watches you and shivers, arching into you fully with a groan of your name and cumming deep*
x cutoutkid (1:07:04 PM): -groans, loudly and short, before i release across my stomach, panting-
poisonbitterswt (1:08:20 PM): *shudders on top of you, then collapses a bit, bracing arms on either side of you*
x cutoutkid (1:09:12 PM): -chest rises and falls hard against yours, head tilted back-
poisonbitterswt (1:20:24 PM): *looks down at you, trying to breathe normally*
x cutoutkid (1:21:39 PM): -eyes open finally, looking up at you-
poisonbitterswt (1:46:41 PM): *gives you the softest smile and touches your cheek*
x cutoutkid (2:05:32 PM): -bites bottom lip a little and leans into your touch-
poisonbitterswt (2:09:08 PM): *admires you for a moment, trailing fingers up and down your cheek*
x cutoutkid (2:30:18 PM): -sighs softly, loojking at you-
poisonbitterswt (2:30:44 PM): *meets your gaze and leans down, brushing lips to yours*
x cutoutkid (2:31:15 PM): -grins, feeling kinda giddy about this, actualy-
poisonbitterswt (2:33:17 PM): *pecks your lips softly and then pulls back* so...you gonna run away again? *jokes*
x cutoutkid (2:36:12 PM): i dont have anywhere to be...-smirks-0
poisonbitterswt (2:37:43 PM): *nods a bit and smiles now* good, cuz i'm making you stay here
x cutoutkid (2:38:06 PM): -laughs- making me?
poisonbitterswt (2:39:20 PM): *nods again and winks* yes, that's what i said
x cutoutkid (2:40:40 PM): mm...right...-snuggles down-
poisonbitterswt (2:41:01 PM): *lies down on your side and runs a hand up and down over your stomach*
x cutoutkid (3:11:32 PM): -smiles, enjoying this newfound tenderness-
poisonbitterswt (3:12:19 PM): *kisses your cheek and snuggles up against you*
x cutoutkid (3:23:35 PM): mmm... -smiles, looking at you- we could move... to your bed... i mean, if you want to? -smiles a bit sheepishly-
poisonbitterswt (3:24:21 PM): *chuckles* sounds like a good enough idea to me
x cutoutkid (3:36:26 PM): yeah... i think i need some sleep... i slept in my car last night
poisonbitterswt (3:39:11 PM): *frowns* i'm not even gonna ask *moves off the couch and scoops you up, carrying you to the bedroom*
x cutoutkid (3:41:24 PM): -laughs when you do- ooo kendall's strong.-l;aughs-
poisonbitterswt (3:53:24 PM): *smirks* i work in a hospital. i do this all the time, you silly bean *walks into the bedroom and plops you on the bed*
x cutoutkid (4:21:35 PM): mm...good to see i'm given the same treatment as the disabled -jokes-
poisonbitterswt (4:25:49 PM): *smirks down at you* i don't fuck my patients
x cutoutkid (4:26:09 PM): ok, better treatment...-scoots up your bed-
poisonbitterswt (4:27:46 PM): *laughs* yeah, that's what i thought....*moves up to lie down beside you*
x cutoutkid (4:28:05 PM): -grins, sliding under your blanket-
poisonbitterswt (4:30:42 PM): Well, must make yourself at home *chuckles*
x cutoutkid (12:51:02 AM): i will. -grins-
poisonbitterswt (12:56:07 AM): *shakes head a bit, propping myself up on my elbow*
x cutoutkid (12:58:11 AM): -tugs it up to my chin and gestures you-
poisonbitterswt (1:12:28 AM): *raises a brow and moves over closer to you*
x cutoutkid (1:14:41 AM): we came in here to lay down, so get under here -grins-
poisonbitterswt (1:15:47 AM): *laughs and pulls the cover over me, then snuggles up close to you*
x cutoutkid (1:16:25 AM): better.
poisonbitterswt (1:18:50 AM): *rolls eyes and puts an arm around your waist*
x cutoutkid (1:22:11 AM): -smiles a bit contently, feeling my heart skip a beat-
poisonbitterswt (1:23:20 AM): *closes eyes and entangles a leg between yours* sleep tight, cai
x cutoutkid (1:26:59 AM): i will...-softly-
poisonbitterswt (1:29:02 AM): (and these two are cute too....and different, lol)
x cutoutkid (1:29:44 AM): [very, but i wanna see phoenix all gr cuz i like phoenix angry cuz its hot]
poisonbitterswt (1:33:22 AM): (hahahahahaha you are sooo bad ;-))
x cutoutkid (1:33:45 AM): [well it issss] -um, sometime later?-
poisonbitterswt (1:36:42 AM): (i know it is! lol) --suresss--
x cutoutkid (1:39:12 AM): -its past the wedding but maybe something happens family wise and they have to be around each other... like maybe a funeral in nix's family?
poisonbitterswt (1:40:51 AM): ---hmmm, interesting...okay, sounds like a plan---
x cutoutkid (1:41:46 AM): -you park the car outside the funeral home and i get out, wearing a really hot tux or whatever with a black tie-
poisonbitterswt (1:43:41 AM): this is gonna be hella awkard, you realize that? *mutters*
x cutoutkid (1:45:00 AM): i was trying not to think about it, actually. -grabs your hand-
poisonbitterswt (1:47:49 AM): *looks to you and lets out a breath, grasping your hand tightly as i walk towards the entrance*
x cutoutkid (1:48:20 AM): -looks at you, very seriously- please don't? -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (1:49:05 AM): *glances over at you* please don't what?
x cutoutkid (1:49:20 AM): worry about him...
poisonbitterswt (1:50:20 AM): right...easier said than...*trails off when i see him further inside, holding an arm around a crying...pregnant, Gwen* oh god...it's the fucking apocalypse...they're reproducing
x cutoutkid (1:56:44 AM): -glances up, feeling my heart clench a little- just fucking forget them -mutters, pulling you to the other side of the place0
poisonbitterswt (1:57:50 AM): (hey now....you can do your stuff...i can do mine...:-P) *swallows a bit when i see my mum and she gestures us over*
x cutoutkid (1:58:13 AM): -follows you, looking anywhere but where he is-
poisonbitterswt (1:58:37 AM): *we sit down near the side of the room and then my mum goes over to my aunt and uncle*
x cutoutkid (1:59:09 AM): -holds your hand in my lap, playing with your fingers-
poisonbitterswt (1:59:53 AM): *smiles a little bit over at you, wriggling fingers in yours* i don't even know this cousin....why am i here?
x cutoutkid (2:00:35 AM): because thats what happens when you're related. -smiles a little, but really completly in pieces in my head-
poisonbitterswt (2:01:13 AM): *nods slightly, then looks over and sees Phoenix giving me the eye*
x cutoutkid (2:01:54 AM): -turns your hand over, tracing lines on your palm-
poisonbitterswt (2:02:27 AM): *his eyes narrow, then he sneers and looks away, rubbing at Gwen's back*
x cutoutkid (2:03:06 AM): -bites lower lip and looks at the wall to my right, feeling a sudden rush of tears but not letting them come out-
poisonbitterswt (2:03:45 AM): *lets hand fall from yours, shaking head* god, i'm so stupid...*gets to feet*
x cutoutkid (2:04:20 AM): -reachs up for your hand before you try to walk off-
poisonbitterswt (2:05:25 AM): *glares down at you* why do this, huh? why even let me believe for a second that you actually cared for me, if when you see him, you just go right back to being 'fall apart' caiden?
x cutoutkid (2:06:19 AM): i do care about you... -really does, hurt by that-
poisonbitterswt (2:07:31 AM): *snorts* yeah? well not as much as you still care for him....not even close
x cutoutkid (2:07:55 AM): he doesnt matter, alright? -voice quiet but stressed-
poisonbitterswt (2:09:49 AM): yeah, keep telling yourself that...maybe one day you'll actually fool someone into believing it....*mutters, yanking my hand away from yours*
x cutoutkid (2:10:28 AM): -feels really fucking hurt, standing up and grabbing you- kendall...-voice hushed
poisonbitterswt (2:12:06 AM): don't you 'kendall' me...i've been lied to for these past few months...i knew it...and yet i let it go on...but one look at you when you saw him and it was a slap in the fucking face *growls through clenched teeth*
x cutoutkid (2:12:54 AM): how do you know i dont love you?
poisonbitterswt (2:14:01 AM): because no one....no one can look at someone like that...like you did when you looked at him and honestly say they love someone else
x cutoutkid (2:15:16 AM): -swallows a little and reachs up, touching your cheeks, saying with heart behind it- i love you... it just... seenig him hurts..-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (2:16:47 AM): *stares at you for a long moment and wants to believe you, biting at lip and pulling away* i don't believe you...i'm sorry...*strides back towards the exit*
x cutoutkid (2:17:14 AM): -swallos, feeling frozen to the spot, now wanting to cry for another reason-
poisonbitterswt (2:18:56 AM): *steps outside and leans against the wall* --you're just letting him go, huh? just like that?-- *looks up and sees phoenix there* --you're a fucking dumbarse, kendall...a stupid fucking dumbarse---
x cutoutkid (2:19:33 AM): -finally puts my hands in my pockets and looks around the room, my eyes blurring-
poisonbitterswt (2:20:34 AM): oh fuck off, phoenix...you left him behind and got hitched... *turns to go when he shoves me--stumbles a nd rights self, then turns back to him, eyes ablaze as i let out a growl and tackle him*
x cutoutkid (2:22:34 AM): [caiden had the same idea] -finds that my emotions are out of control, walking away from the main groups of people and feeling my body shake-
poisonbitterswt (2:24:35 AM): (O_O towards kendall?!?) *we roll around on the pavement, throwing punches and screaming obscenities*
x cutoutkid (2:26:00 AM): [no, nix] -has stepped outside through a door down the way from you too, just around the corner but i can be seen. im somehow too wrapped into my own mind that i dont hear anything, sitting down onto the ground and leaning back against the building-
poisonbitterswt (2:26:51 AM): fuck you, you bastard! you lost out! goddamn you! and you're still taking him from me! *screams, kicking at him and making him lose his breath as i scramble to my feet*
x cutoutkid (2:27:29 AM): -has head on my arms, covering my ears and shivering, unable to stop myself from crying harder-
poisonbitterswt (2:28:28 AM): FUCK YOU! I hate you! Do you hear me?! I'm in love with him...I've finally found someone I want that with and you waltz in and try to destroy it...I HATE YOU!
x cutoutkid (2:29:34 AM): -can hear you now but i dont want to-
poisonbitterswt (2:30:31 AM): *kicks him one last t ime* FINE! You win, Phoenix! Did you hear that?!? YOU WIN!*shakes head and storms away*
x cutoutkid (2:31:42 AM): -looks up, hearing your voice get a bit closer-
poisonbitterswt (2:32:46 AM): *hands shoved in pockets, head down, i forget about my car and start walking down the sidewalk*
x cutoutkid (2:33:13 AM): -stands up, following you- k-kendall
poisonbitterswt (2:34:43 AM): *sighs* what, caiden? *doesnt turn, but just keeps walking*
x cutoutkid (2:35:24 AM): stop... please...-voice strained- [let him leave and caiden can have a go with phoenix]
poisonbitterswt (2:36:10 AM): fuck off, caiden..*growls and continues down the pavement*
x cutoutkid (2:37:00 AM): -stops walking after you, standing there with tears on my cheeks-
poisonbitterswt (2:37:41 AM): *heads in the direction of home, making self resist the urge to go back to you*
x cutoutkid (2:39:09 AM): -feels myself getting more pissed off now than upset, turning around and walking towards where phoenix is-
poisonbitterswt (4:29:26 PM): *phoenix got off the ground, dusting himself off and seething*
x cutoutkid (4:30:25 PM): -comesnout of nowhere catching you off guard and shoving you-
poisonbitterswt (4:32:44 PM): *he stumbled a bit, cursing* what the fuck?!
x cutoutkid (4:34:10 PM): -hits you again, slamming you against the wall- I HATE YOU!
poisonbitterswt (4:38:14 PM): *he grabs your wrists and shoves you backwards* GOOD! feeling's fucking mutual!
x cutoutkid (4:39:01 PM): I DIDN'T RUIN THE ONLY GOOD THING YOU HAD! -pulls hands away from you, tears in my eyes-
poisonbitterswt (4:42:57 PM): *he snorted* No, Caiden...don't you even blame that on me...you ruined it
x cutoutkid (4:43:27 PM): I didn't do anything ! -voice is hoarse-
poisonbitterswt (4:46:27 PM): *he smirked* Right...because somehow I made Kendall walk away from you, huh?
x cutoutkid (4:48:25 PM): yeah, you did!
poisonbitterswt (4:50:56 PM): *he shook his head a bit, wiping the side of his mouth* fine, caiden! say it was all my fault! if you wanna blame it on me, go ahead
x cutoutkid (4:52:58 PM): I DO BLAME IT ON YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT I STILL LOVE YOU EVEN IF I CAN'T STAND YOU!
x cutoutkid (4:53:07 PM): [eep, he admitted lvoe lmao]
poisonbitterswt (4:55:41 PM): *his eyes widened a bit and he stared at you* what did you just say?
x cutoutkid (4:56:52 PM): I said I love you...-my voice quiet, sad-
poisonbitterswt (5:04:30 PM): *he shakes his head again and takes a step back* a little too late for that, caiden
x cutoutkid (5:05:07 PM): it wa s alittle to late for that a long time ago -snorts-
poisonbitterswt (5:07:39 PM): yeah....you're right...so why even bring it up, huh?
x cutoutkid (5:08:23 PM): because you're the reason kendall doesnt think i love him.
poisonbitterswt (5:09:26 PM): Well, I'll be gone back to the states soon enough and you can profess your love to him
x cutoutkid (5:10:04 PM): -snorts again- profess my love to him? i've done that, Phoeni, but he doesnt think so
x cutoutkid (5:11:11 PM): go back to your barbie. -voice hollow-
poisonbitterswt (5:12:24 PM): *he clenches his jaw* yes, i'll go back to my wife. Goodbye, Caiden
x cutoutkid (5:14:04 PM): -puts my arm around my middle and just looks at you, feeling like slt-your-wrist sadness-
poisonbitterswt (5:18:56 PM): *he stares at you for one last moment and then steps back inside the funeral home*
x cutoutkid (5:24:00 PM): -heart aches in my chest, looking in through the window- why couldnt you see it... everyone else cuold...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (5:29:34 PM): *he stood next to Gwen and listened to the small speech made, a thousand thoughts flying through his head*
x cutoutkid (5:30:03 PM): -wipes at cheek and finally moves from the spot, going towards the front of the building and opening my cellphone to call a sab-
x cutoutkid (5:30:05 PM): cab-
poisonbitterswt (5:31:11 PM): *he stared down at the wedding band on his hand...to his pregnant wife beside him, and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to make the thought that i loved you too go away*
x cutoutkid (5:32:20 PM): -finally it comes and i get in, staring mindlessly at my cellphone with the picture of me and kendall-
poisonbitterswt (5:33:32 PM): *he shook his head and grabbed a hold of his wife's hand--he knew where he was needed, where he was supposed to be*
x cutoutkid (5:34:09 PM): -shoves it into my pocket finally, closing my eyes for the ride to my flat-
poisonbitterswt (5:36:37 PM): *he wouldn't waste another thought on it, he couldn't*
x cutoutkid (5:37:41 PM): -i didnt know what to do about kendall, slouching down onto my couch in the dark living room-
poisonbitterswt (5:38:10 PM): *the message light on your machine blinked red*
x cutoutkid (5:40:38 PM): -notices this, just staring at it with my legs pulled up in front of me-
poisonbitterswt (5:41:34 PM): *at his flat, kendall began packing up his things, the letter that had accepted him to the oxford medical association sitting out on his table*
x cutoutkid (5:42:03 PM): [SNIFFF] -bites lip a little and presses the play button-
poisonbitterswt (5:45:31 PM): *it's kendall...*snorts* yeah, you knew that....well, i've figured out i have nothing left here that i thought i did to keep me from taking the job i was offered in london. so i hope he's worth it, even if you can't have him. i'm not being second, caiden. and you can tell me you love me all you want, but your heart's his and i'm done. i'm sorry. i loved you too....hell, i still do...but i'm going. i've made up my mind...so i guess...well, i guess this is goodbye --the machine clicked off as he hung up--
x cutoutkid (5:47:57 PM): -hugs my legs tighter. i dont have anything but him... and now i have nothing-
poisonbitterswt (5:50:48 PM): *he packs up his last box and sets it all at the front door--the box of caiden's things he picks up and heads down the walkway, determined to take it over there and finally let it end--gets there and knocks on the door*
x cutoutkid (5:51:33 PM): -lifts head up and looks at the door, sliding off the couch and opening it silently-
poisonbitterswt (5:53:04 PM): *he stands there resolutely, holding out the box and avoiding eye contact* here
x cutoutkid (5:53:32 PM): -doesnt take it, looking at you-
poisonbitterswt (5:54:23 PM): *he huffs and sets it down in front of you* fine...don't take it. I don't care
x cutoutkid (5:54:53 PM): why are you doing this? -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (5:55:39 PM): because i have no reason not to
x cutoutkid (5:56:13 PM): -swallows- so you'
x cutoutkid (5:56:39 PM): re telling me... i have to go through my life alone because I'm not with him? I'm not with him. I never was. I never will be. Don't you get it?
poisonbitterswt (5:57:24 PM): yeah, i get it...but you still want to be. and i know that! i'll always know that! that in the back of your mind, you still want him more!
x cutoutkid (5:57:57 PM): i havent thought about him since I've been with you. -biting my lip-
poisonbitterswt (5:59:25 PM): *shakes head a bit* sure you can say that...but as soon as you saw him today it all came back. i'm not stupid, caiden...so don't think you're pulling one over on me
x cutoutkid (6:00:31 PM): i don't... -looks down at my shoes a little- i'm happy when i'm with you... he just... it hurts to see him... i don't know why it matters...
poisonbitterswt (6:03:36 PM): IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, GODDAMMIT! *yells*
x cutoutkid (6:04:58 PM): -shrinks back just a little bit- you don't think i havent tried to just... -shaking my head, looking at you-
poisonbitterswt (6:09:43 PM): i don't care what you've tried to do....i'm done, caiden. go on and live out your fantasy in your head *steps off the porch*
x cutoutkid (6:11:30 PM): -swallows hard, looking at you- i love you... even if you don't believe me, i don't care.
poisonbitterswt (6:12:12 PM): *turns back to you, eyes boring into yours* prove it
x cutoutkid (6:13:56 PM): -isn't sure how, biting my lip for a moment-
poisonbitterswt (6:15:21 PM): *throws up hands and heads down the walkway*
x cutoutkid (6:16:18 PM): -grabs my cellphone out of my pocket, flipping it open and stepping in front of you. the picture is like the cutest ever of us-
poisonbitterswt (6:16:58 PM): *looks down at you first and then at the phone, frowning* and what's that supposed to prove...? *but visibly swallows*
x cutoutkid (6:18:12 PM): who am i with in the picture? whats making me laugh, kendall?
poisonbitterswt (6:18:47 PM): *looks at you again and sighs* me...*mutters*
x cutoutkid (6:19:20 PM): i could never be with someone i didn't love...-quietly-
x cutoutkid (6:19:33 PM): why do you think i was always alone?
poisonbitterswt (6:22:44 PM): *closes eyes for a long moment and then slowly opens them to look at you and nods without saying anything*
x cutoutkid (6:23:44 PM): you're the only one i have... -quietly- and i didnt even notice until you said you were leaving
poisonbitterswt (6:25:08 PM): *stares at you, eyes glistening with unshed tears and blinks them back*
x cutoutkid (6:25:35 PM): what do you think that means? -voice quiet-
poisonbitterswt (6:28:38 PM): i don't...know...*whispers*
x cutoutkid (6:28:57 PM): [it totally means he only needs kendall] -looks down at my shoes-
poisonbitterswt (6:29:47 PM): *sighs again and touches your cheek* i think...it means you don't know what you have till it's gone...but you haven't lost me yet...
x cutoutkid (6:30:39 PM): -smiles just a little- i havent?
poisonbitterswt (6:31:51 PM): *shakes head a bit* no...
x cutoutkid (6:33:37 PM): -looks back up at you-
poisonbitterswt (6:34:01 PM): *caresses your cheek and shakes h ead again* guess i just can't give up on you
x cutoutkid (6:36:51 PM): -leans a little against your touch-
poisonbitterswt (6:38:02 PM): *smiles sadly and leans down, kissing your forehead*
x cutoutkid (6:39:14 PM): -sighs a little shakily and steps so im against you-
poisonbitterswt (6:41:54 PM): *encircles arms around you and closes eyes, pressing cheek to your hair* guess i have to call and cancel that job in London now
x cutoutkid (6:45:14 PM): -shakes head a little bit-
poisonbitterswt (6:45:28 PM): what do you mean, no?
x cutoutkid (6:45:52 PM): -bites lip a little- we can... f you want to still go... -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (6:46:36 PM): i'm not making you move for me, caiden
x cutoutkid (6:47:01 PM): you wouldn't be making me do anything...
poisonbitterswt (6:47:29 PM): *nods a bit* you'd be leaving everything behind here, cai...
x cutoutkid (6:48:25 PM): everything? what do i have?
poisonbitterswt (6:50:11 PM): *frowns a little* well then...erm....nevermind....*bites lip* if you want to go with me...you can....but i'm not forcing you....i'm more than happy staying here
x cutoutkid (6:50:43 PM): its a job you always wanted, isnt it? -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (6:51:00 PM): *shrugs slightly* well...yeah...
x cutoutkid (6:54:13 PM): -gives you a small smile- then london it is
poisonbitterswt (6:54:36 PM): are you sure....? really sure? *chews lip*
x cutoutkid (6:55:11 PM): -laughs softly- Kendall, when is anyone ever sure of anything? I just know I want to be where you are... and thats where you should be.
poisonbitterswt (6:55:41 PM): *sighs* all right....then we go to london...
x cutoutkid (6:57:50 PM): -kisses your cheek a bit cautiously-
poisonbitterswt (6:58:49 PM): what the hell was that? *jokes*
x cutoutkid (12:08:55 AM): -bites lip a little-
poisonbitterswt (12:09:45 AM): *shakes head* nevermind...
x cutoutkid (12:15:39 AM): -nods a little bit and looks down at my feet again=-
poisonbitterswt (12:19:00 AM): i think i just need to go home...
x cutoutkid (12:24:09 AM): im sorry i just... -sighs and looks at you, touching your hand-
poisonbitterswt (12:24:50 AM): it's all right, caiden...i get it
x cutoutkid (12:25:50 AM): you do?
poisonbitterswt (12:27:43 AM): I guess...it doesn't matter...I'm going home
x cutoutkid (12:28:42 AM): i dont want you to...-voice soft-
poisonbitterswt (12:29:35 AM): *licks over lips and stands there, sighing to myself* and why not...?
x cutoutkid (12:30:17 AM): -tilts head- because i want you to stay -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (12:31:04 AM): *rolls eyes heavenward* right...even though we're both awkward and will just end up sitting there...can't even kiss each other...and barely touch, yes, that's how i'd like to spend my night
x cutoutkid (12:31:35 AM): who said we can't? -steps up closer to you, gazing upward-
poisonbitterswt (12:33:20 AM): no one said it...it's just how we're acting, caiden
x cutoutkid (12:34:22 AM): i'm sorry... i just... trying to forget about that... about today
poisonbitterswt (12:35:21 AM): *nods* yeah...so am i...
x cutoutkid (12:36:04 AM): and i dont really... i dont want to just go in there and sit alone... but i think maybe we should just... see each othertommorow?
x cutoutkid (12:36:12 AM): [mmm nix should come over god im horrible]
poisonbitterswt (12:39:43 AM): (WHYYY?! Give me one good reason why after all that NIX would decide "let's go over there and start a fight again"?!?......and yes, you are) That's why I said I was going home, Caiden...*turns away* I'll see you later... *once more starts down the pathway*
x cutoutkid (12:40:24 AM): wait...\
poisonbitterswt (12:42:12 AM): goddammit...*mutters under breath, but stops, not turning* what, caiden?"
x cutoutkid (12:42:47 AM): -furrows brows a little- just wanted something... -walks up and softly kisses your bottom lip-
poisonbitterswt (12:45:46 AM): *doesn't kiss back and continues down the pathway back to my place*
x cutoutkid (12:45:59 AM): -frowns and watchs you leae-
poisonbitterswt (12:46:43 AM): *gets back to my place and shuts the door, looking around at all the boxes with a sigh and goes to flop down on the couch, falling asleep*
x cutoutkid (12:47:23 AM): -goes back into my flat, feeling a little depressed-
poisonbitterswt (12:48:59 AM): *he had told himself all the reasons why he shouldn't go--why he shouldn't confess--why, why, why--but no reason had made him stay in the hotel room--and then there he was, suddenly soaked to the skin by a lashing rain that had erupted earlier, knocking on caiden's door*
x cutoutkid (12:49:44 AM): -had occupied self with a bath and sat around in the dark, enjoying the storm with the candles lit and the lights off. answer the door without looking and looks a bit confused at you-
poisonbitterswt (12:50:42 AM): *he says the only thing he can think of to say, knowing it doesn't matter, he just has to say it, get it out, and let it go* i love you too
x cutoutkid (12:51:04 AM): -goes to shut the door-
poisonbitterswt (12:52:51 AM): *he shoved it open, instantly swooping in the door and pressing you into the wall, pinning you there, looking down at you, eyes dark* you can try and shut doors on me, caiden...but you know damn well, deep inside, there's one always open, no matter what you do or i do, or anyone does
x cutoutkid (12:53:48 AM): don't... -voice quiet, lookg up at you- youve had our whole lives so far to tell me that
poisonbitterswt (12:55:07 AM): yeah...and maybe i've never been sure of anything in my life like you seemed to be about me...why would you even put that on me...you know i'm a fuck-up...goddammit, caiden...*he shook his head, stepping back* why'd you have to tell me you loved me?
x cutoutkid (12:55:34 AM): because everyone but you knows.
x cutoutkid (12:55:53 AM): youre the only one... and you should of seen it... how could you not see it? -voice getting a bit sad-
poisonbitterswt (12:57:10 AM): *his shoulders sagged* cuz i was fucking blind, caiden! i did what people expected...i got a wife and a family...i "bucked up" and did what i was supposed to do...even if it meant being only half- happy for the rest of my lfie
poisonbitterswt (12:57:13 AM): *life*
x cutoutkid (12:57:53 AM): -shakes head- you didn't even... before you left... before you did it... you should of told me
poisonbitterswt (12:59:46 AM): I love her, caiden...I do. She means something to me....she's having our kid...I wanted to be with her...because despite what you and Kendall seemed to think, she is a good person...and she doesnt'...she doesn't deserve to be deserted because...just because...*he trailed off, closing his eyes* just because i love you
x cutoutkid (1:00:40 AM): -snorts at this- she wasn't pregnant when you decided to move away. you werent married when i came to you and told you not to go. you had every chance to tell me you loved me.
poisonbitterswt (1:01:57 AM): No she wasn't. And no, we werent. That doesn't make any difference. That doesn't make me care for her any less. You were selfish, caiden. Pure and simple. You asked me to change everything in myself for you, just because you came to me after 22 years and decided you wanted to admit you were in love with me
x cutoutkid (1:03:47 AM): -swallows, feeling my stomach tighten with both anger and injustice- i wasnt the one with the girlfriends... the serious relationships... one to another and another... its not easy to tell your best friend you love them when theyre always with someone...
poisonbitterswt (1:04:57 AM): *he stared up at the ceiling* there you go again, blaming it on me like I made you fall for me. Fuck that, caiden...you could've said something as easy as I could've...but you waited till I had a fiancee and a new life ready to start
x cutoutkid (1:06:14 AM): because i wanted you to know, alright? -voice cracking a little- i just... i knew it was then or never... at least i had the balls to say something.
poisonbitterswt (1:08:23 AM): *he nodded a bit* right...you had the balls to say something and i had enough to move on...it's over...before it even started...this, right here...*he points at you and himself* it's nothing...it will never be anything....it's just...done....*tries to keep back the sadness in my tone and swallows*
x cutoutkid (1:09:46 AM): i k-know... -that feeling that this is all wrong burning at me-
poisonbitterswt (1:10:59 AM): *he swallowed again over the lump in his throat* this is it, caiden....this is goodbye...I won't be coming back here....it's over completely...*he nodded, as if to assure himself and headed to the open door, shaking a bit*
x cutoutkid (1:11:42 AM): -can only frown deeper, getting a look of complete and utter safness on my face as my eyes blur-
poisonbitterswt (6:05:11 PM): *he stops at the door, then turns to you again and steps up to you, reaching out and touching your cheek* maybe it is done...maybe there's nothing left...but i'll love you always...*he softly ran his fingers down your jaw, then stepped back and made his way to the door again*
x cutoutkid (6:06:42 PM): -makes a soft whimpery noise without realizing it-
poisonbitterswt (6:08:52 PM): *he bit at his lip and made his way out the door, determined to leave and let it go, even though his thoughts were now wrapped around how soft caiden's skin had been*
x cutoutkid (6:13:07 PM): -watchs you, feeling my heart aching in my chest- i should let you go... but i really don't want to [i was thinking maybe cai will be like "maybe we shouldnt be together, kendall" but still want to go with him to london... maybe to be a nice start on something else in life... and maybe nix will come back? i dunno or cai will show up at nixs house]
poisonbitterswt (6:14:32 PM): (you just love fucking with my people, dont'cha? Who says i'm even giving you nix anyway? :-P) *he cringed, but acted as if he hadn't heard him*
x cutoutkid (6:15:09 PM): [sniff meanie] i know you heard me, thats all that matters. -voice quiet-
poisonbitterswt (6:17:42 PM): (yeah...well you get to be a meanie all the time! so there! double :-P :-P) *he stiffened for a moment and faced caiden* why are you doing it? can't you just let me walk away?
x cutoutkid (6:18:18 PM): i dont want to...-voice a bit torn-
x cutoutkid (12:08:55 AM): -bites lip a little-
poisonbitterswt (12:09:45 AM): *shakes head* nevermind...
x cutoutkid (12:15:39 AM): -nods a little bit and looks down at my feet again=-
poisonbitterswt (12:19:00 AM): i think i just need to go home...
x cutoutkid (12:24:09 AM): im sorry i just... -sighs and looks at you, touching your hand-
poisonbitterswt (12:24:50 AM): it's all right, caiden...i get it
x cutoutkid (12:25:50 AM): you do?
poisonbitterswt (12:27:43 AM): I guess...it doesn't matter...I'm going home
x cutoutkid (12:28:42 AM): i dont want you to...-voice soft-
poisonbitterswt (12:29:35 AM): *licks over lips and stands there, sighing to myself* and why not...?
x cutoutkid (12:30:17 AM): -tilts head- because i want you to stay -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (12:31:04 AM): *rolls eyes heavenward* right...even though we're both awkward and will just end up sitting there...can't even kiss each other...and barely touch, yes, that's how i'd like to spend my night
x cutoutkid (12:31:35 AM): who said we can't? -steps up closer to you, gazing upward-
poisonbitterswt (12:33:20 AM): no one said it...it's just how we're acting, caiden
x cutoutkid (12:34:22 AM): i'm sorry... i just... trying to forget about that... about today
poisonbitterswt (12:35:21 AM): *nods* yeah...so am i...
x cutoutkid (12:36:04 AM): and i dont really... i dont want to just go in there and sit alone... but i think maybe we should just... see each othertommorow?
x cutoutkid (12:36:12 AM): [mmm nix should come over god im horrible]
poisonbitterswt (12:39:43 AM): (WHYYY?! Give me one good reason why after all that NIX would decide "let's go over there and start a fight again"?!?......and yes, you are) That's why I said I was going home, Caiden...*turns away* I'll see you later... *once more starts down the pathway*
x cutoutkid (12:40:24 AM): wait...\
poisonbitterswt (12:42:12 AM): goddammit...*mutters under breath, but stops, not turning* what, caiden?"
x cutoutkid (12:42:47 AM): -furrows brows a little- just wanted something... -walks up and softly kisses your bottom lip-
poisonbitterswt (12:45:46 AM): *doesn't kiss back and continues down the pathway back to my place*
x cutoutkid (12:45:59 AM): -frowns and watchs you leae-
poisonbitterswt (12:46:43 AM): *gets back to my place and shuts the door, looking around at all the boxes with a sigh and goes to flop down on the couch, falling asleep*
x cutoutkid (12:47:23 AM): -goes back into my flat, feeling a little depressed-
poisonbitterswt (12:48:59 AM): *he had told himself all the reasons why he shouldn't go--why he shouldn't confess--why, why, why--but no reason had made him stay in the hotel room--and then there he was, suddenly soaked to the skin by a lashing rain that had erupted earlier, knocking on caiden's door*
x cutoutkid (12:49:44 AM): -had occupied self with a bath and sat around in the dark, enjoying the storm with the candles lit and the lights off. answer the door without looking and looks a bit confused at you-
poisonbitterswt (12:50:42 AM): *he says the only thing he can think of to say, knowing it doesn't matter, he just has to say it, get it out, and let it go* i love you too
x cutoutkid (12:51:04 AM): -goes to shut the door-
poisonbitterswt (12:52:51 AM): *he shoved it open, instantly swooping in the door and pressing you into the wall, pinning you there, looking down at you, eyes dark* you can try and shut doors on me, caiden...but you know damn well, deep inside, there's one always open, no matter what you do or i do, or anyone does
x cutoutkid (12:53:48 AM): don't... -voice quiet, lookg up at you- youve had our whole lives so far to tell me that
poisonbitterswt (12:55:07 AM): yeah...and maybe i've never been sure of anything in my life like you seemed to be about me...why would you even put that on me...you know i'm a fuck-up...goddammit, caiden...*he shook his head, stepping back* why'd you have to tell me you loved me?
x cutoutkid (12:55:34 AM): because everyone but you knows.
x cutoutkid (12:55:53 AM): youre the only one... and you should of seen it... how could you not see it? -voice getting a bit sad-
poisonbitterswt (12:57:10 AM): *his shoulders sagged* cuz i was fucking blind, caiden! i did what people expected...i got a wife and a family...i "bucked up" and did what i was supposed to do...even if it meant being only half- happy for the rest of my lfie
poisonbitterswt (12:57:13 AM): *life*
x cutoutkid (12:57:53 AM): -shakes head- you didn't even... before you left... before you did it... you should of told me
poisonbitterswt (12:59:46 AM): I love her, caiden...I do. She means something to me....she's having our kid...I wanted to be with her...because despite what you and Kendall seemed to think, she is a good person...and she doesnt'...she doesn't deserve to be deserted because...just because...*he trailed off, closing his eyes* just because i love you
x cutoutkid (1:00:40 AM): -snorts at this- she wasn't pregnant when you decided to move away. you werent married when i came to you and told you not to go. you had every chance to tell me you loved me.
poisonbitterswt (1:01:57 AM): No she wasn't. And no, we werent. That doesn't make any difference. That doesn't make me care for her any less. You were selfish, caiden. Pure and simple. You asked me to change everything in myself for you, just because you came to me after 22 years and decided you wanted to admit you were in love with me
x cutoutkid (1:03:47 AM): -swallows, feeling my stomach tighten with both anger and injustice- i wasnt the one with the girlfriends... the serious relationships... one to another and another... its not easy to tell your best friend you love them when theyre always with someone...
poisonbitterswt (1:04:57 AM): *he stared up at the ceiling* there you go again, blaming it on me like I made you fall for me. Fuck that, caiden...you could've said something as easy as I could've...but you waited till I had a fiancee and a new life ready to start
x cutoutkid (1:06:14 AM): because i wanted you to know, alright? -voice cracking a little- i just... i knew it was then or never... at least i had the balls to say something.
poisonbitterswt (1:08:23 AM): *he nodded a bit* right...you had the balls to say something and i had enough to move on...it's over...before it even started...this, right here...*he points at you and himself* it's nothing...it will never be anything....it's just...done....*tries to keep back the sadness in my tone and swallows*
x cutoutkid (1:09:46 AM): i k-know... -that feeling that this is all wrong burning at me-
poisonbitterswt (1:10:59 AM): *he swallowed again over the lump in his throat* this is it, caiden....this is goodbye...I won't be coming back here....it's over completely...*he nodded, as if to assure himself and headed to the open door, shaking a bit*
x cutoutkid (1:11:42 AM): -can only frown deeper, getting a look of complete and utter safness on my face as my eyes blur-
poisonbitterswt (6:05:11 PM): *he stops at the door, then turns to you again and steps up to you, reaching out and touching your cheek* maybe it is done...maybe there's nothing left...but i'll love you always...*he softly ran his fingers down your jaw, then stepped back and made his way to the door again*
x cutoutkid (6:06:42 PM): -makes a soft whimpery noise without realizing it-
poisonbitterswt (6:08:52 PM): *he bit at his lip and made his way out the door, determined to leave and let it go, even though his thoughts were now wrapped around how soft caiden's skin had been*
x cutoutkid (6:13:07 PM): -watchs you, feeling my heart aching in my chest- i should let you go... but i really don't want to [i was thinking maybe cai will be like "maybe we shouldnt be together, kendall" but still want to go with him to london... maybe to be a nice start on something else in life... and maybe nix will come back? i dunno or cai will show up at nixs house] FONT> i dont want to...-voice a bit torn-
poisonbitterswt (6:56:26 PM): *he sighed* i can see that...
x cutoutkid (6:59:23 PM): why can't you just walk away? -voice sidtraught- just ignore me, alright? you have for the last year.
poisonbitterswt (7:00:31 PM): *he nods* fine...i will *turns again and fishes keys out of pocket*
x cutoutkid (7:01:06 PM): -gets out a short "bye", voice croaking a little as i turn and leave the living room-
poisonbitterswt (7:03:02 PM): *he got into the car and sped off, gripping the steering wheel hard*
x cutoutkid (7:04:12 PM): -the door shuts and i dont even make it to my bed, sinking down onto the floor next to my door-
poisonbitterswt (7:06:20 PM): *he got back to the hotel and parked, shuffling into the hotel room, kicking off shoes and wet clothes before crawling into bed and curling self around Gwen, hand resting protectively on her stomach*
x cutoutkid (7:07:06 PM): -the streaks of light from the widows and the blind slowly fades as it gets darker out, two hours passing sitting there in silence.
poisonbitterswt (7:08:57 PM): *lalala, he lies there with his arm curved around her, feeling the baby moving and frowning to himself--how could he leave her? there was no way*
x cutoutkid (7:17:46 PM): -finally gets up, its around 8pm, and rubs cheek before grabbing my keys and going to my car driving to kendalls and knocking on the door-
poisonbitterswt (7:22:29 PM): *comes to the door and surveys you for a moment, leaning against the doorframe* so he come over?
x cutoutkid (7:23:18 PM): -nods, looking up at you-
poisonbitterswt (7:24:05 PM): knew he'd listen...*shakes head a bit and steps inside*
x cutoutkid (7:25:22 PM): i want... i want to come to london with you... juust as a friend...-quietly, standing just inside-
poisonbitterswt (9:55:20 PM): *turns to you and laughs* oh, that's just rich, caiden...
x cutoutkid (9:55:48 PM): -bites lip alittle-
poisonbitterswt (9:59:40 PM): no...forget it...don't even pull that on me...you can stay here
x cutoutkid (10:00:30 PM): no i just... wasnt sure what you meant... but i get it... -hands in my pocket-
poisonbitterswt (10:04:53 PM): yeah, didn't think you were that dense...*shakes head* how you even have the balls to come here and ask me that....god!
x cutoutkid (10:05:55 PM): -sighs softly- kendall... i just... its not fair... none of it... and i'm sorry.
poisonbitterswt (10:06:43 PM): fuck you, caiden! *yells* get the fuck out!
x cutoutkid (10:08:13 PM): -feels the anxiety heighten, can't put it into words for you- you don't... its not because i love him more... or i love you less... its because... i love you both... and its messing me up
x cutoutkid (10:09:34 PM): and you were right... it isnt fair...
poisonbitterswt (10:11:00 PM): *grits teeth* GET. OUT Caiden!
x cutoutkid (10:11:32 PM): NO! -frustrated, looking at you-
poisonbitterswt (10:12:49 PM): Then I'll fucking throw you out, goddammit!
x cutoutkid (10:13:12 PM): YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!
poisonbitterswt (10:15:46 PM): That's because I don't have to! Because it's all about you, caiden...how you're feeling. How it's messing you up! Well how in the hell would i feel letting you come to london with me, huh?!?
x cutoutkid (10:18:18 PM): Then don't just stand there and tell me to leave, TALK TO ME!
poisonbitterswt (10:19:58 PM): No. I'm done talking. I told you how I felt. And this is what you come to me with. Fuck it, Cai! It's not worth it anymore! I'm done fighting. I. GIVE. UP!
x cutoutkid (10:22:01 PM): i don't deserve you, alright? -quietly-
poisonbitterswt (10:23:00 PM): JUST STOP TALKING! *screams* Everything that comes out of your mouth is complete BULLSHIT! GO AWAY!
x cutoutkid (10:23:17 PM): ITS NOT! I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH!
poisonbitterswt (10:26:05 PM): I. am done. listening to what you have to say....I DONT CARE!
x cutoutkid (10:26:49 PM): i guess i just... i wanted to come out of this with at least one friend... even if depe down you hated me... but i guess that isnt going to happen
poisonbitterswt (10:27:44 PM): *snorts* I can't be your fucking friend, caiden....and you know it, so just go
x cutoutkid (10:28:23 PM): you don't feel it, do you?
x cutoutkid (10:28:51 PM): you don't... we don't have that thing that makes us feel like we'd die without each other, do we? -chewing my lip-
x cutoutkid (10:29:15 PM): [caidens a hopeless picture perfect romantic. he just wants that absolute love thing kinda]
poisonbitterswt (10:30:25 PM): no....obviously i don't, or i'd keep fighting for you...but you know what, caiden...NEWSFLASH! Phoenix came there and he LEFT! He's still got a wife! He's still got a baby on the way! And he certainly isn't dying without you!
x cutoutkid (10:30:57 PM): i didn't say he was. -voice hollow-
poisonbitterswt (10:32:01 PM): yeah....but i see it in your eyes...*steps up to you, staring down at you* it's killing you that he left...that he didn't even try to stay with you...
x cutoutkid (10:33:08 PM): you want it to be... so you can be right.
x cutoutkid (10:39:10 PM): but he left and you're right, theres nothing i can do, ok? nothing. so i'm asking you to just... i just want to still have a friend... and wether you like it or not, i do love you
x cutoutkid (10:44:33 PM): and if you want to forget i even exist than... go to london then...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (10:59:03 PM): *clenches jaw* Like i can forget that easily, huh? Like I never loved you at all? *laughs bitterly* No, Cai...I'm not Phoenix...
x cutoutkid (10:59:44 PM): i'm not asking for right now... im asking for you to not push me out completly
x cutoutkid (11:02:11 PM): i just want a break... i dont want me and you to be over... i know thats what you want though...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (11:02:33 PM): *stares down at you in silence for a long moment and then looks up at the ceiling* no, you don't know....so stop putting fucking words in my mouth
x cutoutkid (11:03:04 PM): -bites on my cheek- thats what it feels like, how am i supposed to interpret all this?
x cutoutkid (11:04:36 PM): i'd hate me if i were you too... i get that much
poisonbitterswt (11:09:32 PM): I don't hate you...I just....don't particularly like you very much at the moment
x cutoutkid (11:10:24 PM): -laughs a little
x cutoutkid (11:10:27 PM): - right.
poisonbitterswt (11:15:24 PM): don't laugh....i'm serious...*tries to scowl down at you but can't do it* oh fuck it...who am i kidding....we leave tomorrow *sighs and goes back to packing up a box*
x cutoutkid (11:15:39 PM): you're sure? -looks at you-
poisonbitterswt (11:17:33 PM): dammit, just start packing before i change my mind
x cutoutkid (11:18:58 PM): -nods a little bit and comes over, giving you a kiss on the cheek-
poisonbitterswt (11:21:27 PM): *moves away and kneels down to start putting things in a box*
x cutoutkid (11:23:43 PM): i'll go then...-softly-
poisonbitterswt (11:25:18 PM): no way, ya little loser...you're helping me pack. you have a lot less shit than i do
x cutoutkid (11:25:39 PM): -0smiles a little, grabbing something and starting to wrap it up-
poisonbitterswt (11:30:45 PM): *goes through a photo album and laughs when i come upon a picture of us dressed up as batman and robin when we were both around 10*
x cutoutkid (11:31:40 PM): -glances up at you, curious-
poisonbitterswt (11:33:13 PM): *holds it up* you made a good robin
x cutoutkid (11:33:36 PM): -laughs- just because i was smaller and had black hair
poisonbitterswt (11:35:52 PM): *smirks* and you really thought you could fly....pissed you off i was batman
x cutoutkid (11:36:13 PM): batman was a freak
poisonbitterswt (11:36:53 PM): *pouts* he was not! He was a hell of a lot better than pansy arse superman
x cutoutkid (11:37:14 PM): i didnt say he wasnt. i hated superman
poisonbitterswt (11:39:36 PM): *chuckles again* wasn't nix superman one year? *pauses* nooo, he was one of those...what were they....Xmen?
x cutoutkid (11:40:16 PM): -smiles faintly- yeah
poisonbitterswt (11:42:41 PM): *snorts* Figures he'd have to be different than us
x cutoutkid (11:43:11 PM): i liked x-men -shrugs a bit-
poisonbitterswt (11:43:37 PM): *rolls eyes* yeah....yeah, you would
x cutoutkid (11:44:01 PM): whats not to like? i wanted superhuman powers
poisonbitterswt (11:46:36 PM): i know...i guess they were cool...nix did hand down his comics to me...
x cutoutkid (11:47:23 PM): you watched the cartoons with me sometimes
poisonbitterswt (11:50:36 PM): *laughs hard and falls onto back* Oh god, I remember those...Wolverine with an Aussie accent...that was just plain horrid
x cutoutkid (11:51:32 PM): it was hot -smirking-
poisonbitterswt (11:58:39 PM): it was not! it was an 'orrible accent! abominable!
x cutoutkid (11:58:59 PM): -laughs- he was still hot
poisonbitterswt (12:00:24 AM): okay....yeah, him in general....and hugh jackman as him...yeah...
x cutoutkid (12:00:45 AM): exactly
poisonbitterswt (12:05:52 AM): *grins wide* definitely hot...and the pyro kid....i liked that...though he would've been better if they'd made him aussie like they were supposed to
x cutoutkid (12:07:59 AM): i like fire.... -wraps something else up-
poisonbitterswt (12:09:03 AM): *smirks* yeah....i got that much when you tried to go pyro on my bedroom once with my damn candles
x cutoutkid (12:38:35 AM): i like candles -smirks-
poisonbitterswt (12:40:06 AM): *shakes head* um....yeah...a bit too much there, cai
x cutoutkid (12:41:04 AM): no way
poisonbitterswt (12:43:59 AM): so how'd my curtains get set on fire? *raises a brow*
x cutoutkid (12:45:22 AM): i dont know. -innocent look-
poisonbitterswt (9:22:59 PM): *snorts* Uh huh....didn't work then and it sure isn't working now
x cutoutkid (9:30:14 PM): -smirks and just looks down, wrapping up a nicknack-
poisonbitterswt (9:31:00 PM): *puts the photo back in the album and wraps it up, then sits back after I've taped the box* Well, not much left
x cutoutkid (9:35:50 PM): -sets the last nicknack thing down into a box-
poisonbitterswt (9:38:11 PM): *bites at lip and looks around* huh...gonna be weird leaving here...
x cutoutkid (9:38:38 PM): cant say the same for me
poisonbitterswt (9:50:06 PM): *looks over at you* yeah...i know...so maybe london will be good for both of us
x cutoutkid (9:50:21 PM): yeah... maybe... -shrugs a bit-
poisonbitterswt (9:55:45 PM): *sighs and gets to feet, starting to get some books off a shelf* or you can always go to new york
x cutoutkid (9:56:41 PM): i don't want to go alone...-quietly-
poisonbitterswt (9:59:34 PM): *looks at you over my shoulder* and what...am i supposed to venture there with you?
x cutoutkid (9:59:57 PM): no... -shakes head-
x cutoutkid (10:00:24 PM): why would i want to go to ny?
poisonbitterswt (10:00:46 PM): *shrugs* hell if i know...*tosses books into a box*
x cutoutkid (10:37:33 PM): -doesnt say anything else, setting finished box near the others-
poisonbitterswt (10:42:03 PM): *tapes another box shut and slides it over to the others, then flops on the couch*
x cutoutkid (10:44:14 PM): looks like we're done here
poisonbitterswt (10:45:22 PM): *nods a bit and leans back* i think that's earned us something to drink
x cutoutkid (10:46:01 PM): something extremly alcoholic
poisonbitterswt (10:48:32 PM): *laughs and gets to my feet* i think i can help with that *heads off to the kitchen*
x cutoutkid (10:49:11 PM): -sits down on the couch, polaying with my cell phone-
poisonbitterswt (10:52:04 PM): *pours two glasses of coke and douses in some extra rum*
x cutoutkid (10:52:32 PM): -lays down, bringing my legs up-
poisonbitterswt (10:56:17 PM): *brings back the glasses and hands one to you*
x cutoutkid (10:56:29 PM): -smirks and takes it, playing tetris-
poisonbitterswt (11:00:26 PM): *comes over to the other side of the couch, curling up and sipping at my drink*
x cutoutkid (11:01:09 PM): -sips it and coughs a little- damn, strong
poisonbitterswt (11:04:24 PM): *smirks* that's what you said, isn't it?
x cutoutkid (11:04:48 PM): mm...yup. -drinksmore-
poisonbitterswt (11:11:03 PM): *chuckles and sips my own again, looking up at the ceiling*
x cutoutkid (11:11:41 PM): -shuts the phone, setting it on the table-
poisonbitterswt (11:13:26 PM): *downs the rest of the drink and goes to make another*
x cutoutkid (11:14:01 PM): -looks up, watching you leave the room again-
x cutoutkid (11:14:09 PM): -before getting up and following you-
poisonbitterswt (11:22:26 PM): *is busy pouring a little coke in a cup, followed by more rum*
x cutoutkid (11:24:48 PM): -comes up behind you, peeking over your shoulder and speaking with my lips close to your ear- why bother with the coke
poisonbitterswt (11:31:43 PM): *shivers involuntarily* i dunno....adds some taste
x cutoutkid (11:32:54 PM): -puts chin on your shoulder amd grabs the bottle, taking a drink-
poisonbitterswt (11:36:14 PM): hey....give me that, you little punk *snatches it back and swigs it*
x cutoutkid (11:37:01 PM): -backs off of you-
poisonbitterswt (11:39:36 PM): *smirks and then hands it over* damn that burns
x cutoutkid (11:42:17 PM): -steps up and takes it from you-
poisonbitterswt (11:44:33 PM): *leans back against the counter and swigs from my glass*
x cutoutkid (11:45:11 PM): -moves closer to you still-
poisonbitterswt (11:48:30 PM): *eyes you for a moment, swigging the last of my drink and licking my lips*
x cutoutkid (11:49:02 PM): -offers the bottle toyou-
poisonbitterswt (11:52:01 PM): *takes another swig from it, chugging it all the way down until there's only a sip or two left, then passes it to you and runs hands through my hair*
x cutoutkid (11:52:30 PM): -smiles a little and this time is against you completly, drinking the last of it-
poisonbitterswt (11:55:26 PM): *stares down at you, eyes a little blurry, watching you drink*
x cutoutkid (11:56:41 PM): -reachs to set it down onto the counter behind you-
poisonbitterswt (12:01:15 AM): *looks at the empty bottle and then back at you*
x cutoutkid (12:02:21 AM): -gives a small smile, kissing your cheek- i really needed that
poisonbitterswt (12:03:24 AM): *smiles back a bit* yeah...me too
x cutoutkid (12:03:48 AM): -puts arms gently around you in a small hug-
poisonbitterswt (12:06:03 AM): *wraps arms around you and gives you a little squeeze*
x cutoutkid (12:06:37 AM): -smiles, resting my head against your chest-
poisonbitterswt (12:09:27 AM): *presses cheek against your hair and closes eyes, stroking gently up and down your back*
x cutoutkid (12:10:26 AM): -kinda snuggles into your warmth-
poisonbitterswt (12:13:35 AM): *sighs a bit, closing eyes tighter and singing softly to you*
x cutoutkid (12:14:03 AM): -smiles a little, ear pressed to your chest-
poisonbitterswt (12:17:24 AM): you wanna go sleep on the couch? i can make up a bed for you
x cutoutkid (12:21:11 AM): -shakes head just a little-
poisonbitterswt (12:26:26 AM): okay...so you're gonna sleep on the floor? *laughs*
x cutoutkid (12:26:40 AM): i'm not sleepy
poisonbitterswt (12:27:37 AM): ah, okay....well, i am...so i'm getting out of these clothes and lying down
x cutoutkid (12:27:52 AM): oh... -nods a bit and lets you go-
poisonbitterswt (12:31:08 AM): *smiles down at you* you can come in and watch tv or something, if i fall asleep, just feel free to do whatever
x cutoutkid (12:32:17 AM): -smiles and nods again-
poisonbitterswt (12:33:31 AM): *leads the way to my bedroom where i strip down to my boxers and get into bed, flicking on the tv as i snuggle up to my pillow*
x cutoutkid (12:33:51 AM): -crawls up onto the bed-
poisonbitterswt (12:35:34 AM): *finds old re-runs of south park and chuckles so self, eyes half-closed already*
x cutoutkid (12:35:54 AM): -is already snuggled into a pillow, eyes closed-
poisonbitterswt (12:36:45 AM): *looks over at you and smirks before eyes fall closed* night, cai
x cutoutkid (12:37:27 AM): mm...-already out of it-
poisonbitterswt (12:39:00 AM): *lets self drift, turning off the tv and putting soft music on instead*
x cutoutkid (12:39:28 AM): -is facing you, and snuggles against your chest like earlier-
poisonbitterswt (12:41:34 AM): *wraps arms around you tightly, pulling you protectively against me and falls asleep*
x cutoutkid (12:42:40 AM): -sighs, falling asleep aswell-