x cutoutkid (2:09:54 AM): -sitting at a table with my new laptop phoenix got me, checking up on my LJ and talking to benji as i sip a cappucino-
X KIEREN X (2:10:44 AM): ::pulls up at the tea shop, gets out of the car and enters, ordering my usual and doesn't see you::
x cutoutkid (2:11:29 AM): -doesnt see you either, giggling at something benji said-
X KIEREN X (2:12:09 AM): ::hears you, turning my head as i take my "to go" tea in hand and sees you where i usually sit::
x cutoutkid (2:12:31 AM): -types away, the keys clinking, and takes another sip-
X KIEREN X (2:13:35 AM): ::bites my lip, looking between you and outside at my car, remembering our last encounter before i slowly make my way through the tables and chairs to where you are sitting::
x cutoutkid (2:14:17 AM): -tapes finger on the side of the cup, watching the screen and twirling my finger on my finger of my other hand-
X KIEREN X (2:14:36 AM): ...caiden?
x cutoutkid (2:15:20 AM): -stops taping my finger, my eyes moving to your face- h-hi...
X KIEREN X (2:15:40 AM): can we talk?
x cutoutkid (2:16:20 AM): -swallows over a lump in my throat, gesturing to the chair in front of me and nervously pushing my labretout-
X KIEREN X (2:17:26 AM): ::sits down, holding my tea in my hands for a moment:: i'm sorry...i know it probably doesn't mean much, and i know that i have no excuse for the things that i said to you, but i wish i could take it all back...
x cutoutkid (2:18:35 AM): -says nothing, my eyes nervously flickering-
x cutoutkid (2:18:39 AM): -out the window-
X KIEREN X (2:19:30 AM): it's been tearing me apart...the things i said to you...you didn't deserve it...
x cutoutkid (2:22:18 AM): -looks back at you- i deserved..s-some of it...
X KIEREN X (2:23:07 AM): ::shakes head:: i shouldn't have done what i did...this was my fault, cai...really it was...and i just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me...for everything...
X KIEREN X (2:24:04 AM): you're honestly one of the most amazing people that i've ever met, and i would hate for us to end on such a terrible note
x cutoutkid (2:24:43 AM): -shakes my head, nervously thumbing over my ring in a small sense of security- i... i shouldnt of let everything get so far..
X KIEREN X (2:26:00 AM): i treasure every moment i spent with you...your company, your friendship, your words your love...i shouldn't have gotten so out of touch with you...
x cutoutkid (2:29:27 AM): have you... have you told him?
X KIEREN X (2:29:42 AM): adrion?
x cutoutkid (2:31:04 AM): yes.
x cutoutkid (2:31:23 AM): do you want him to find out one day and leave you? do you want it to happen like me and you?
X KIEREN X (2:32:15 AM): no...i don't...::whispers:: i'll tell him...some day...
X KIEREN X (2:35:20 AM): hopefully i won't be on anything when i tell him...
x cutoutkid (2:35:50 AM): y-you shouldnt keep doing that...it really fucks you up...-quietly-
X KIEREN X (2:36:16 AM): ::nods:: i haven't since...i don't want to
x cutoutkid (2:38:03 AM): tha's good...-nervously looks down at my hands, feeling uncomfortable-
X KIEREN X (2:38:38 AM): i must hve looked like a pratt on that stuff...eh?
x cutoutkid (2:40:17 AM): you frustrated the fucking hell out of me...
X KIEREN X (2:41:07 AM): ::smiles:: i could see that...what's that? ::points to your ring::
x cutoutkid (2:42:07 AM): i...uh....i-it's an engagement ring...-quietly, a nervous smile-
X KIEREN X (2:42:43 AM): ::small smile:: so levi's not the only one these days? let me guess...phoenix?
x cutoutkid (2:44:15 AM): -blushs a bit and tries to hide it, smile tugging on my lips- yeah... phoenix... -meeting your eyes-
X KIEREN X (2:44:51 AM): ::reaches for your hands:: i'm glad for you...he'll take much better care of you than i ever could
x cutoutkid (2:45:50 AM): -looks down- you took care of me fine, kier... we just... grew apart... helped each other find what we really needed in life...
X KIEREN X (2:46:24 AM): ::nods::
x cutoutkid (2:47:08 AM): -fiddles with my latop as i take a final sip from my cup, shutting it as it shuts down-
X KIEREN X (2:47:40 AM): ::watches you, making to stand up::
x cutoutkid (2:48:20 AM): i...-puts it away slowly- if you ever need to get ahold of me... levi knows where to find me... -a faint smile, zipping the cxase-
X KIEREN X (2:48:53 AM): ::smiles:: thanks...and if you ever need anything...my door is still always open
X KIEREN X (2:50:07 AM): can you and i can in contact?
x cutoutkid (2:51:07 AM): -nods softly, putting the strap of the case on my shoulder- i'd like that...
X KIEREN X (2:51:57 AM): ::smiles softly:: there will always be a place for you here ::points to my heart::
x cutoutkid (2:52:41 AM): -steps closer to you, wrapping an arm around you gently and kissing your cheek-
X KIEREN X (2:53:41 AM): ::slides my left arm around your waist and pulling you close, inhailing your scent one last time of the sea and a bit of pencil wood as i remember the day we first really met at the airport::
x cutoutkid (2:54:42 AM): -pulls back and smiles up at you, reaching down onto the table for a napkin and into my bag for a pen, jotting down a number and handing it to you-
X KIEREN X (2:55:05 AM): ::takes it and looks at it:: new cell phone?
x cutoutkid (2:56:25 AM): yeah...got it last week... -small smile- call me...sometime, alright?
X KIEREN X (2:56:45 AM): i will ::leans down to kiss your forehead::
x cutoutkid (2:57:35 AM): have a g'day kier...
X KIEREN X (2:57:46 AM): you too, cai
x cutoutkid (2:58:02 AM): -walks towards the door, waving at levi behind the counter-
X KIEREN X (2:58:30 AM): ::sits back down, beginning to finally drink the cooling tea in my hand::
x cutoutkid (2:59:40 AM): -goes home-
X KIEREN X (3:00:09 AM): ::sits around the tea room for a bit...maybe talking to adrion if he comes in::
x cutoutkid (3:00:22 AM): [and he will when his im isnt tied up]
X KIEREN X (3:00:32 AM): (he should in this one)
x cutoutkid (3:01:15 AM): Adrion: -watchs the dark haired man walk past me, a bit curious, and steps inside the shop-
X KIEREN X (3:01:41 AM): ::sips at my tea, pulling out my phone and programming cai's number into it::
x cutoutkid (3:02:22 AM): Adrion: -steps beside the table- who was that?
X KIEREN X (3:02:54 AM): ::jumps a little, looking up at you:: my friend
X KIEREN X (3:03:18 AM): caiden
x cutoutkid (3:03:47 AM): Adrion: Caiden...? -curious look- that sounds familiar...
X KIEREN X (3:04:11 AM): it should...he's my ex...::tells you this with confidence::
x cutoutkid (3:04:56 AM): Adrion: Your ex, eh?
X KIEREN X (3:05:13 AM): yes. what are you doing out of school today?
x cutoutkid (3:05:43 AM): Adrion: class let out a half hour ago...
X KIEREN X (3:05:55 AM): ::looks at watch:: so it did
x cutoutkid (3:07:30 AM): Adrion: so...i thought caiden was in australia?
X KIEREN X (3:07:42 AM): not anymore
X KIEREN X (3:08:09 AM): he moved up here to live with his fiance
x cutoutkid (3:09:28 AM): Adrion: oh...-my voice quiet, feeling stupid and sitting down-
X KIEREN X (3:10:09 AM): ::smiles and takes your hand in mine:: we should party tonigth (i'm going to say it's a friday)
x cutoutkid (3:10:34 AM): Adrion: -face brightens up a little- i'd like that...
X KIEREN X (3:10:55 AM): me too...we havn't danced in a long time
x cutoutkid (3:49:29 AM): -is laying on your couch, on my side with my cut open wrists resting side my side-
X KIEREN X (3:50:17 AM): ::runs up the stairs and pushes the key in; the drug still making me jittery and happy and i'm still a little hard::
x cutoutkid (3:50:58 AM): -eyes are glued to the TV [what dreams may come still] and bagheera keeps nudging me- not right now bag...-croaks this out, my whole body feeling weak-
X KIEREN X (3:52:03 AM): ::puts the key in the door and opens it, not noticing you at first as i begin to take off my coat before i hear bagheera meowing a little; looks over and sees you:: caiden?
x cutoutkid (3:52:46 AM): -closes eyes and lets out a sigh, frustration in my mind but not enough power to express it-
X KIEREN X (3:54:12 AM): ::walks over to you, gently touchig your skin and noting how good it feels:: why aren't you in bed? ::whispers as i kneel, feeling something wet seep through my pants::
x cutoutkid (3:54:50 AM): -tears start to fall down my cheeks through my closed eyes, taking in a shaky breath, my heart beating shallowly-
X KIEREN X (3:55:58 AM): ::nuzzles your face with mine and pressing my hand down, feeling a warm liquid on the floor; slowly i bring my hand up and in the glow of the TV i notice that it's blood:: caiden?!
x cutoutkid (3:56:51 AM): g-go away...-stutters, shivering a bit-
X KIEREN X (3:57:41 AM): ::lifts up your hand, seeing blood all over your fingers from your wrists down:: caiden...what did you do to yourself?
x cutoutkid (3:58:23 AM): -doesnt move, my breathe low and shallow as i feel my heart slow in my chest-
X KIEREN X (3:58:36 AM): caiden...answer me!
x cutoutkid (4:00:16 AM): g...o.....a....wa...y -my voice low, stuttery, barely there-
X KIEREN X (4:01:31 AM): ::looks around the room for a minute before picking you up into my arms and making way out of the flat and back down to my car, placing you in the passanger seat of the red viper and getting in myself, zooming off to the hospital::
x cutoutkid (4:02:07 AM): -clammy and pale, my whole body shivering-
X KIEREN X (4:03:03 AM): ::bites my lip, hoping i make it to the hospital in time::
x cutoutkid (4:03:13 AM): [and of course he does]
X KIEREN X (4:03:24 AM): (but he hopes)