X KIEREN X: ::is sitting in the hospital waiting room, my face in my hands, soaked with salty tears::
x cutoutkid: -is in my clothes from last night, my hair hanging in my eyes and the bruises still on my face, my whole body aching as i walk out. signs a few release papers and comes out to you, not looking at you at all as i walk from the waiting room out the doors-
X KIEREN X: ::looks up seeing you and stands and rushes after you:: ...caiden...
x cutoutkid: FUCK OFF. -shouts this, walking to the doors down the hallway that lead out-
X KIEREN X: ::runs now, grabbing at your hands and pulling you to look at me:: caiden...i was so worried...
x cutoutkid: like hell you were -spits this, ripping my hand from yours-
X KIEREN X: ::feels a ripping in my heart, reaching for you again:: caiden please. lets go back home...
x cutoutkid: home? HOME? -walking out and into the parking area- thats not HOME.
X KIEREN X: my...my flat is our home...it's always been ::chases after you::
x cutoutkid: i dont have a home. -stopping, looking at you with immense hatred-
X KIEREN X: don't say that...my home is always your home ::a fresh batch of tears appear behind my eyes::
x cutoutkid: take me to your flat. -quietly, determined- i need to get something before i go.
X KIEREN X: go? where are you going? ::my mood suddenly changing from sad to fear, reaching for your hand::
x cutoutkid: i dont know. i dont care.
X KIEREN X: ...::pulls out my car keys and unlocks the cherry red car:: caiden, why are you so mad at me?
X KIEREN X: i don't like it when you're mad
x cutoutkid: -opens the passenger side door and slides in, tugging my seatbelt on without a word-
X KIEREN X: ::gets in the car, too, but doesn't start it yet as i look at you, crying:: godfucking damnit, cai...what the fuck is your problem?
X KIEREN X: why are you treating me like this?
x cutoutkid: how do you want me to treat you? -reaching over, turning the keys in the ignition-
X KIEREN X: ::doesn't even bother with a seat belt as i speed back to the flat at your request:: like you used to treat me...
X KIEREN X: i don't like getting yelled at for doing nothing
x cutoutkid: doing NOTHING eh? YOU CALL HIM NOTHING?
X KIEREN X: him?
x cutoutkid: -is scooted against the door, tears are down my cheeks, my face red- HIM kieren, the boy you FUCKED last night. is your brain so fried that you dont remember?!
X KIEREN X: : ::mumbles:: fucked? fucked...him...adrion? ::gives you a pittiful look, not comprehending what you're talking about::
x cutoutkid: : yes ADRION -says his name painfully-
X KIEREN X: : what do you being mad at me have to do with adrion? what did he ever do to you?
X KIEREN X: : ::whipes at my tears::
x cutoutkid: : he fucked my boyfriend, you moron!
x cutoutkid: : why did you even come back to the flat at all? why didnt you just stay with him and let me die how i wanted to?
X KIEREN X: : because i don't want you to die ::whispers::
X KIEREN X: : ...i love you...
X KIEREN X: : caiden...i love you a lot...
x cutoutkid: : do you know what love is?
x cutoutkid: : -my stomach in knots, staring out the window through blurred tears-
X KIEREN X: : yes ::pulls into the parking garage, pulling the keys out of the car and practically stumbling out::
x cutoutkid: : -gets out with a slam of the door, walking quickly towards your flat-
X KIEREN X: : ::follows you, falling once on my face:: caiden...stop walking away from me
x cutoutkid: : stop pretending, kier. -whispers sharply-
X KIEREN X: : i'm not pretending! i'm not a fucking kid you know! ::yelling, slurring my words a little::
x cutoutkid: : go fuck yourself up some more.
X KIEREN X: : i'm not fucked up!
x cutoutkid: : -walks down the familiar hallway of your flat, ignoring you-
X KIEREN X: : don't walk away from me, caiden...i can't live without you
x cutoutkid: : you've been living without me for months -snarls, turning on my heel-
X KIEREN X: : oh caiden...::walks up to you and grasps your hands::
x cutoutkid: : STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME.
X KIEREN X: : you never had a problem with it before
x cutoutkid: : things change. -grits out, trying the apartment door handle and finding it unlocked for some odd reason-
X KIEREN X: : ::follows you into the flat:: stop being such a little fucker to me! ::slams the door behind me::
X KIEREN X: : i didn't do anything
x cutoutkid: : -turns around, my face with anger as i shove you against the door harder than i've ever pushed anyone before, heading the loud thud sound through the room- FUCK YOU, KIER.
X KIEREN X: : ::pushes you back a little:: you already have!
x cutoutkid: : -lets out a low growl, shoving you again, this time holding you there and yelling into your face- CHUCK RAPED ME KIER. I CAME TO YOU FOR SOME PIECE OF FUCKING SAFETY AND YOU LEAVE ME TO FUCK SOME LITTLE SCHOOL BOY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
X KIEREN X: : ::did not hear that first part:: YOU'RE SAFE HERE! AND CAN YOU BLAME ME IF I WANTED SOME ASS AND YOU WERE TOO LOVEY DOVEY WITH THAT STUPID BEAR!?
X KIEREN X: : stop bringing adrion into this...he didn't do anything to you
x cutoutkid: : HE FUCKED MY BOYFRIEND! -thinking you heard me and you're just an asshole, pulls you back and slams you against the door, letting go of you as i do and turning around, walking quickly away to your room to collect my clothes-
X KIEREN X: : ::falls to the ground, my head beginning to hurt:: ADRION doesn't treat me like this!
X KIEREN X: : you're turning into chuck, caiden...::tears pouring down my face and i can't quite understand why you're trying to hurt me::
x cutoutkid: : -stops, my heart freezing in my chest, turning to face you- what. did. you. say.
X KIEREN X: : i said that adrion doesn't treat me like you do
x cutoutkid: : no. about chuck. -my fists at my sides-
X KIEREN X: : he hit you...he hit you and here you are slamming me into walls...adrion doesn't do that to me...::is practically sobbing right now::
X KIEREN X: : are you going to hit me, too? just like da did? are you going to fucking kill me like da tried to!?
x cutoutkid: : -walks up to you, my eyes full of hatred for you right now- did i rape you, kier? did i force you out of your home every time you settled yourself somewhere? did i tear you inside and out and beat you till you couldnt move for hours? DID I?
X KIEREN X: : no, but you're sure as hell showing signs of something you MIGHT do
X KIEREN X: : it always starts with a simple slap in the face when you say, "da, i'm gay" or a punch on the side, and then it escalates into something bigger like shoving knives through people's backs! ::is getting everything mixed up...and you don't know this stuff::
x cutoutkid: : dont you DARE turn this on me, kieren! i came to you, i didn't find some random boy to fuck while my boyfriend was gone. i fucked PHOENIX, kier. i fucked one of my friends out of depression and you... FUCK YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME. -turns again, this time leaving you there to find my bag, furiously shoving things inside and zipping it up=
X KIEREN X: : i KNOW you fucked phoenix! you FUCKED HIM so many FUCKING times that he couldn't even REMEMBER all of the instances!
X KIEREN X: : i see NOTHING wrong with me fucking adrion after what you did to me!
x cutoutkid: : -hoists my bag onto my shoulder, picking up a scattered, frightened looking cat from the bed and coming out into the room- YOURE RIGHT. I FUCKED HIM EVERY CHANCE I GOT. I LOVE HIM, KIEREN, BUT I LOVED YOU TO. I DIDNT RUN OUT TO FIND HIM...BUT YOU DID. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU. ADRION WAS YOUR CHOICE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
X KIEREN X: : and phoenix was YOUR choice too!
X KIEREN X: : you goddamned hypocrite!
X KIEREN X: : it was YOUR choice to fuck those twins too! don't forget about them!
x cutoutkid: : -shoves bagheera into the carrier at my feet, clicking the door shut- AT LEAST I TRIED TO COME BACK TO YOU, I TRIED TO RIGHT EVERYTHING IVE DONE WRONG. PHOENIX WAS MY CHOICE BUT PHOENIX IS A PART OF MY PAST. A PART YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
X KIEREN X: : ::sobs, my low so low that i just want to die right now:: stop yelling at me!
X KIEREN X: : adrion doesn't yell at me like you are!
x cutoutkid: : I CAN'T KIER! -my voice raw, my cheeks red and flushed and soaked with tears- YOU KILLED EVERY LAST BIT OF HUMANITY I HAD LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU LEFT ME FOR HIM. YOU LEFT ME SLEEPING ON THE COUCH WHEN YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME. YOU KNEW.
X KIEREN X: : at least adrion cares about me. he doesn't yell at me or hurt me like you are...he doesn't fuck other people...i'm his one and only and he loves me and he doesn't try to fucking kill himself on my sofa!
x cutoutkid: : YOU? HURT YOU? -looks at you, in disbelief- I TOLD HIM I DIDNT LOVE HIM! I SAID I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU! AND I FIND OUT YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL, KIER! YOU JUST WANTED SOMEONE T FUCK YOU AND TELL YOU DADDYS LITTLE INCIDENT WONT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
X KIEREN X: : don't put words in my mouth!
x cutoutkid: : DONT PUT WORDS IN MINE, YOU ASSHOLE! -moving towards the front door, my head pounding and my wrists throbbing-
X KIEREN X: : ::grabs your wrist:: i didn't!
x cutoutkid: : -hisses in pain, letting out a large yelp, hurtingtoo much to move- LET ME GO.
X KIEREN X: : ::does, feeling your words cut me deep as i press the palms of my hands to my face::
x cutoutkid: : your BOYFRIEND got you drugged up? Is that why youre so fucked up? -looking down, blood seeping through the badages-
X KIEREN X: : ...maybe...::whispers::
x cutoutkid: : what would ADRION say about you having a boyfriend? would ADRION appreciate being cheated on? -looking at you, my eyes cold-
X KIEREN X: : don't say that!
x cutoutkid: : at least phoenix knows where he stands. does your precious ADRION have a fucking clue?
X KIEREN X: : DON'T TALK ABOUT ADRION!
x cutoutkid: : IT HURTS DOESNT IT, THE TRUTH? ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE BEEN AFRAID TO ADMIT TO YOURSELF?
X KIEREN X: : ...no...
X KIEREN X: : ::sniffles::
x cutoutkid: : stop LYING kieren
x cutoutkid: : to yourself
x cutoutkid: : to him
x cutoutkid: : to me
x cutoutkid: : get a fucking check on reality
x cutoutkid: : -spits this out, hand on the door handle-
X KIEREN X: : stop talking about adrion! stop talking about him because i love him and he loves me and we both know it!
x cutoutkid: : would he love you if he knew what you were doing behind his back? WOULD HE?
X KIEREN X: : i'm not doing anything behind his back!
x cutoutkid: : YOU WERE FUCKING ME BEHIND HIS BACK, WEREN'T YOU?
x cutoutkid: : -opens the door now- I HOPE HE LEAVES YOU, KIER. I HOPE HE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT WORTH HIS TIME.
X KIEREN X: YOU'RE not worth MY time! or my money or anything! i shouldn't have fucking BOTHERED with you!
x cutoutkid: FUCK OFF AND DIE. -turns, walking through the doors and down the hall-
X KIEREN X: ::slams the door behind you::...good riddance...::mumbles as i take a step and fall on my face, breaking out into tears again and wanting to be with adrion more than anything right now::