xx readysteadygo (12:45:57 AM): -unpacking boxs at my apartment, cell sitting on the kitchen counter-
X KIEREN X (12:47:17 AM): ::is sitting on the sofa; it's almost midnight as i fiddle with my phone, flipping the clamshell open and closed::
xx readysteadygo (12:49:04 AM): -rubs at the back of my head and groans, frustrated, before i find my pill bottle and swallow two of them-
X KIEREN X (12:49:30 AM): ::looks at my watch, and then flips open the phone once more and dials your number::
xx readysteadygo (12:50:38 AM): -grabs my phone, eyes closed as i rub the bridge of my nose- hello?
X KIEREN X (12:50:50 AM): where are you?
X KIEREN X (12:51:31 AM): ::is generally concerned, being as you didn't leave a note or call me or anything...and kireina doesn't know where you've gone off to::
xx readysteadygo (12:52:04 AM): -in a nasty, annoyed, tone- what the fuck do you care?
X KIEREN X (12:52:27 AM): ::pauses:: why wouldn't i care?
X KIEREN X (12:53:37 AM): i'm worried...it's midnight and i haven't heard from you since i left this morning...
xx readysteadygo (12:54:25 AM): stop acting like you care, kieren.
X KIEREN X (12:54:51 AM): i DO care
X KIEREN X (12:54:58 AM): i'm not acting
xx readysteadygo (12:55:11 AM): Did you think i wouldnt find out about Caiden?
xx readysteadygo (12:56:06 AM): the pretty little punk kid with the pink shirt?
X KIEREN X (12:57:10 AM): ::says nothing for a moment, bringing my hand to my forehead:: what do you know about caiden?
X KIEREN X (12:58:09 AM): ::says that in a sincere sigh, remembering how this conversation went with caiden last spring and does NOT want to have the same outcome with adrion::
xx readysteadygo (12:58:40 AM): I know that you were with him... in April... when you lied and told me you had some business trip to take to France
xx readysteadygo (12:59:25 AM): i know that you've been telling me you loved me even though you were probably saying the same thing to him
xx readysteadygo (12:59:39 AM): -crosses arms in front of chest as i fall down onto the couch-
X KIEREN X (1:00:08 AM): ::lets out a deep sigh:: yes, i did lie to you...i'm sorry...
xx readysteadygo (1:00:41 AM): you're SORRY kieren?
X KIEREN X (1:01:10 AM): i meant it, though...i've always meant you when i told you i loved you...i love you so much...
xx readysteadygo (1:01:44 AM): -makes a pft sound-
X KIEREN X (1:01:55 AM): i even told caiden how i felt about you...
xx readysteadygo (1:02:00 AM): i'm the guy you were cheating on your boyfriend with, kieren
xx readysteadygo (1:02:21 AM): i dont care what you told him
X KIEREN X (1:03:09 AM): ::swallows back tears:: then what do you care about? ::whispers:: what do you want me to say?
X KIEREN X (1:03:28 AM): other than i made a mistake, and that i love you so much...
xx readysteadygo (1:04:17 AM): i dont want you to say -takes a sharp breath and curses as my head starts hurting- a fucking...thing...I didnt call you
X KIEREN X (1:05:22 AM): ::closes eyes, tears pouring down my cheeks:: then what can i do to fix this?
xx readysteadygo (1:06:18 AM): what makes you think there's a way?
xx readysteadygo (1:06:22 AM): now, if you'll excuse me.
xx readysteadygo (1:06:34 AM): i have to go out to the store and get some groceries
X KIEREN X (1:06:44 AM): adrion...please...
xx readysteadygo (1:06:53 AM): goodbye kieren.
xx readysteadygo (1:07:28 AM): -clickmoo-
X KIEREN X (1:08:14 AM): ::waits until i hear the tone before closing my phone, crying being i'm a real dick::
xx readysteadygo (1:09:55 AM): -wipes a tear off my cheek, staring across the room out the window at the darkening sky, pulling a leg up-
X KIEREN X (1:11:23 AM): ONE WEEK LATER
xx readysteadygo (1:11:45 AM): -flipping through a book for one of my upcoming classes-
X KIEREN X (1:11:54 AM): ::knock knock knock::
xx readysteadygo (1:13:52 AM): -groans and sits up. surprise surprise i've buzzed my hair really short because chemo is taking a toll. goes over to the door and swings it open.-
xx readysteadygo (1:14:05 AM): -doesnt open the screen- what are you doing here.
X KIEREN X (1:14:42 AM): ::bites lip and looks away:: i wanted to talk to you...
xx readysteadygo (1:15:14 AM): i thought i made it pretty clear i didnt want to talk?
X KIEREN X (1:15:47 AM): then you don't have to...i will...if you'll listen...::says softly::
xx readysteadygo (1:16:08 AM): -looks away and down- talk, then.
X KIEREN X (1:16:55 AM): you mean everything to me
xx readysteadygo (1:17:07 AM): -doesnt look at you-
X KIEREN X (1:19:04 AM): caiden...he and i were wrong...and it took you to make me realize the reasons why...because you are everything i've ever wanted in a relationship. i can tell you things and you'll listen to me; i can open up my heart and you won't break it; i can let you in on anything in my life without being ashamed...
xx readysteadygo (1:19:32 AM): anything but him.
X KIEREN X (1:20:31 AM): what i did was wrong, adrion. the minute i told you i loved you was the minute i realized that i didn't love caiden
X KIEREN X (1:21:01 AM): and i'm talking about the time in the club...the very FIRST time i told you that i loved you...
X KIEREN X (1:21:04 AM): i meant it
xx readysteadygo (1:21:48 AM): then why havent you told me? months have gone by and not one word.
xx readysteadygo (1:22:16 AM): how am i supposed to know i wont be another caiden? -looks up at you, my eyes narrowed-
X KIEREN X (1:22:45 AM): because you aren't caiden...
X KIEREN X (1:23:42 AM): you're nothing like him...and i'm so happy that you aren't for so many different reasons
xx readysteadygo (1:24:22 AM): i've got more important things to worry about than some asshole across the ocean and weather or not he's over there cheating on me
X KIEREN X (1:24:43 AM): that's why i'm leaving london
X KIEREN X (1:25:28 AM): because i WON'T ever cheat on you
X KIEREN X (1:25:51 AM): i love you too much to even IMAGINE being with someone else
xx readysteadygo (1:26:12 AM): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?
xx readysteadygo (1:26:20 AM): You lied to HIM
xx readysteadygo (1:26:37 AM): i... i can't know if you're being truthful, kieren...
xx readysteadygo (1:26:52 AM): even if you're here with me
X KIEREN X (1:27:46 AM): ::looks away:: i've told you things, adrion, that i haven't told anyone...i don't hide nearly as many things from you as i do the rest of the world...
xx readysteadygo (1:29:13 AM): none of this matters anyways... -looks up with tears in my eyes- does it? i won't be around in a few months anyways to give a shit
xx readysteadygo (1:29:30 AM): so do you really think i fucking care if you're SORRY?
X KIEREN X (1:31:10 AM): ...::a tear falls::...::whispers:: obviously you don't...
X KIEREN X (1:32:09 AM): i fucked up...i just...i wanted to at least tell you to your face...
X KIEREN X (1:32:38 AM): becuase you're a wonderful person...and you deserve the best
xx readysteadygo (1:34:37 AM): -wipes at my cheek and scratches the back of my neck lightly- i dont care... i dont...
xx readysteadygo (1:34:44 AM): i dont have a reason to care, kieren...
xx readysteadygo (1:35:34 AM): you were just supposed to be a one night stand... you weren't supposed to...to get attached to me...-looking down at the floor-
X KIEREN X (1:36:05 AM): ::sneers:: and you didn't get attatched to me, either?
X KIEREN X (1:36:29 AM): i'm sorry, but you can't help who you fall in love with
X KIEREN X (1:37:45 AM): and trust me, i'm glad that i fell hard for you
xx readysteadygo (1:38:06 AM): you shouldn't be
xx readysteadygo (1:38:17 AM): because I'm not glad I fell hard for you
xx readysteadygo (1:38:22 AM): -voice shaking-
X KIEREN X (1:39:09 AM): ::bites lip:: fine...i'm sorry that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me...does that make you feel any better?
xx readysteadygo (1:40:35 AM): no....it doesn't...
xx readysteadygo (1:40:56 AM): i shouldnt of let myself get attached to you like i did
xx readysteadygo (1:41:10 AM): i tried...so fucking hard... to keep my emotions out of everything i did
X KIEREN X (1:41:56 AM): well obviously you didn't try hard enough
xx readysteadygo (1:42:47 AM): -clenchs jaw a little-
xx readysteadygo (1:42:52 AM): i LEFT didnt i?
xx readysteadygo (1:43:07 AM): that was supposed to be your cue to leave me the fuck alone
X KIEREN X (1:43:52 AM): ::turns around:: fine ::begins to walk away, mumbles:: I love you
xx readysteadygo (1:44:11 AM): i never said i didnt love you -quietly-
X KIEREN X (1:44:39 AM): ::doesn't hear you and keeps walking::
xx readysteadygo (1:45:42 AM): -bites my lip and watchs you, leaving the door and collapsing onto my couch in a fit of tears, my elbows on my knees as i let out a sob against the skin of my forearms-
X KIEREN X (1:46:15 AM): ::makes way back to the airport; my eyes bloodshot and feeling like a complete ass::
xx readysteadygo (1:47:24 AM): -can feel a sharp pain up the back of my head as i cry, only making it worse-
X KIEREN X (1:48:22 AM): ::watches out the window of the taxi cab::
xx readysteadygo (1:49:36 AM): -reachs for my cell off the table, shaking when i feel another stab of pain as i flip it open and hold down the number for your cellphone-
X KIEREN X (1:50:17 AM): ::hears my ringtone and i flip the clamshell open without even looking at the name:: hello? ::says in a tired voice::
xx readysteadygo (1:51:22 AM): -drops the phone on the wood floor with a loud clatter, hugging my arms around myself as my head feels like someones tearing it open-
X KIEREN X (1:52:09 AM): hello? ::says again before looking at the phone and seeing your name on the screen:: adrion?
xx readysteadygo (1:53:19 AM): -lets out an inhuman wail, my eyes shut tight and colors bursting in front of my eyes-
X KIEREN X (1:53:41 AM): (aww ::huggles adrion:: you put him through so much)
xx readysteadygo (1:53:48 AM): (i know)
X KIEREN X (1:54:07 AM): ::pulls the phone away from my ear as i ask the cabbie to turn around again::
xx readysteadygo (1:55:06 AM): -feels a cold pain rip up the back of my neck and to my eyes, breathing in sharp before passing out-
X KIEREN X (1:56:53 AM): ::as the cab pulls out, I jump out the door and rush up the stairs, finding the door open ajar as i enter and find you:: adrion? ::knees down and gently touches your face::
xx readysteadygo (1:57:09 AM): -passed out like whoa=-
xx readysteadygo (1:57:26 AM): -tons of bottles of pillows all around my apartment-
xx readysteadygo (1:57:30 AM): pills-=
X KIEREN X (1:58:05 AM): ::dials 911::
X KIEREN X (1:58:25 AM): ::blah blah...blah::
xx readysteadygo (1:58:42 AM): -burning up like whoa, cheeks red and groaning-
X KIEREN X (1:59:22 AM): ::insert hospital::
xx readysteadygo (1:59:45 AM): -insert being in a bed and waking u-
xx readysteadygo (1:59:48 AM): up-
X KIEREN X (2:00:18 AM): ::looks down at you from the chair next to the bed::
X KIEREN X (2:00:44 AM): hey...
xx readysteadygo (2:01:22 AM): -doesnt look at you, my voice cracking a little- h-hi...
X KIEREN X (2:01:34 AM): ...how are you feeling?
xx readysteadygo (2:02:13 AM): -swallows and looks up a little- like I'm dying
xx readysteadygo (2:02:15 AM): how are you?
X KIEREN X (2:02:33 AM): worried...concerned...a bit scared...
xx readysteadygo (2:03:17 AM): heh... -closes eyes a little and swallows-
X KIEREN X (2:03:36 AM): ::reaches for your hand::
xx readysteadygo (2:04:12 AM): d-dont...kieren...
xx readysteadygo (2:04:18 AM): you should have..just went back home...
X KIEREN X (2:04:41 AM): ::shakes head:: i feel like i belong with you...
X KIEREN X (2:05:02 AM): (note how little kieren uses the word "feel")
xx readysteadygo (2:05:13 AM): [yup]
xx readysteadygo (2:05:36 AM): i feel like you shouldnt have to see me like this -quietly-
xx readysteadygo (2:05:47 AM): w-why...why do you want to see this
X KIEREN X (2:07:03 AM): because you have to live it...it's only fair that if you saw the problems i had with my father...what he did to me, that i should be able to be with you here...
xx readysteadygo (2:08:16 AM): i dont want you to see...-whispers, tears falling over my cheeks without my consent-
X KIEREN X (2:09:10 AM): you can't go at this alone...
X KIEREN X (2:09:56 AM): i want to be at your side the whole way through...i promised you i would
xx readysteadygo (2:11:49 AM): -bites my lip and looks at you- i dont want you to see where i end up, kier
X KIEREN X (2:12:30 AM): i don't care...i want to be with you
xx readysteadygo (2:14:08 AM): i...i'm scared...[this being the first time he's ever admitted hes scared about this][
X KIEREN X (2:14:46 AM): ...i am, too...::gives your hand a squeeze::
X KIEREN X (2:14:54 AM): i don't want you to be alone
xx readysteadygo (2:16:18 AM): i...i wont be...not if you stay with me...i'm sorry....kier..i want you here....
X KIEREN X (2:17:18 AM): ::picks your hand up to my lips and kisses your knuckles as tears begin to pour down my cheeks from happiness:: then i'm here
xx readysteadygo (2:18:09 AM): -nods just a little- wh..what did the doctor say?
X KIEREN X (2:18:33 AM): (i don't know...what DID he say?)
xx readysteadygo (2:18:51 AM): [that he had to talk to adrion in private when he woke up]
X KIEREN X (2:19:13 AM): ::shakes head:: to get him when you woke up
xx readysteadygo (2:19:22 AM): oh....
xx readysteadygo (2:19:32 AM): can...can you get him?
X KIEREN X (2:19:55 AM): ::nods:: you know, adrion...everything's going to work out
xx readysteadygo (2:20:07 AM): you don't know that...-quietly-
X KIEREN X (2:20:34 AM): yes i do ::stands up and places a kiss on your forehead::
X KIEREN X (2:21:37 AM): ::walks off to get the doctor::
xx readysteadygo (9:34:14 PM): xx readysteadygo (2:20:07 AM): you don't know that...-quietly-
X KIEREN X (2:20:34 AM): yes i do ::stands up and places a kiss on your forehead::
X KIEREN X (2:21:37 AM): ::walks off to get the doctor::
xx readysteadygo (9:34:32 PM): -closes eyes and rests my head against the pillow, feeling fluttery from the medication-
X KIEREN X (9:34:52 PM): ::finds the doctor, and obliges as he asks me to wait in the waiting room of the hospital::
X KIEREN X (9:35:51 PM): DOCTOR: ::LALALA walks in to your room, a clipboard in hand as i approach your bed::
xx readysteadygo (9:36:17 PM): -opens eyes again and forces barely a smile, swallowing thickly-
X KIEREN X (9:36:33 PM): doctor: so how are you feeling?
xx readysteadygo (9:36:51 PM): like i can't feel a thing... and not in a good way..
X KIEREN X (9:38:06 PM): doctor: ::flips through my notes on my clipboard::
xx readysteadygo (9:38:24 PM): what...whats going to happen to me...
X KIEREN X (9:38:52 PM): doctor: well, that's up for you to decide
X KIEREN X (9:39:06 PM): doctor: you have two options
xx readysteadygo (9:39:34 PM): -swallows, nodding just a little-
X KIEREN X (9:40:09 PM): doctor: we can remove the tumor, or you can die
xx readysteadygo (9:41:08 PM): -can feel tears in my eyes- i thought... they said tha was a last resort..
X KIEREN X (9:41:41 PM): doctor: it is
X KIEREN X (9:43:08 PM): doctor: the operation is extreamly dangerous, and there is only a 5% chance of you surviving; a 3% chance that you'll survive without suffering any sort of brain damage
xx readysteadygo (9:43:51 PM): -looks down and holds a hand up to my eyes- i cant... i have to do it... why are you even giving me the choice
X KIEREN X (9:44:11 PM): doctor: because you need to sign the release papers
X KIEREN X (9:44:23 PM): doctor: the liability forms and whatnot
xx readysteadygo (9:44:55 PM): i'll...i'll sign them right now... -wipes at my eyes, trying not to let this get to me like ive been trying so long to do-
X KIEREN X (9:45:18 PM): doctor: ::hands you the clipboard and a pen from my pocket protector::
xx readysteadygo (9:46:39 PM): -takes it shakily, not bothering to read anything before i sign, feeling a tear fall down my cheek and cursing myself in my head for crying, a tear falling on the paper just before i throw it onto the small table to my side-
X KIEREN X (9:47:36 PM): doctor: ::takes the clipboard from you:: i'll schedual a trip to the ER for you and be right back to let you know what time we'll start
xx readysteadygo (9:48:33 PM): -just nods- can you...can you bring kieren in...he was the one that brought me in...
X KIEREN X (9:48:57 PM): doctor: ::nods as i walk out of the room::
xx readysteadygo (9:49:34 PM): -is looking out the window, bringing my knees up to my chest as my shoulders shake-
X KIEREN X (9:50:03 PM): ::slowly comes back into the room:: hey...
xx readysteadygo (9:51:27 PM): h-hi...-shaking like never before, a sob escapes me-
X KIEREN X (9:52:24 PM): ::sits down on your bed and gently cups your face in my hand:: what did he say?
xx readysteadygo (9:54:03 PM): -shakes my head left and right, closing my eyes-
xx readysteadygo (9:54:41 PM): i...i dont want to die...
X KIEREN X (9:54:56 PM): ...you're not...
xx readysteadygo (9:55:16 PM): 3..kieren...3%...
xx readysteadygo (9:55:52 PM): -sucks in a harsh breath and opens my eyes, theyre red as i look at you-
X KIEREN X (9:56:12 PM): ::leans close and wraps my arms around you::
X KIEREN X (9:57:25 PM): ...you won't die...you can't...::feeling tears well up::
xx readysteadygo (9:59:00 PM): i dont...dont want to be without you...i... -lets out another shaky cry, trying to breathe-
X KIEREN X (9:59:49 PM): i'll stay with you...i'll stay with you as long as they let me...and after you come out...alive...i'll be right at your side
xx readysteadygo (10:01:27 PM): i knew...i knew this would happen...i wasnt scared last time...i d-didnt...have anyone i'd care about left behind...i dont want to die...i dont want to die -my voice getting smaller, quieter-
X KIEREN X (10:02:49 PM): ::presses my forehead and nose against yours and closes eyes:: adrion, love, it's okay...you arne't going to die...
X KIEREN X (10:03:01 PM): (he's such an optomist)
xx readysteadygo (10:03:14 PM): [adrions like THREE PERCENT!]
xx readysteadygo (10:03:48 PM): even if...i dont...he said brain damage...he said i might no die but ....-swallows-
X KIEREN X (10:04:08 PM): and you think i'd leave you?
xx readysteadygo (10:04:37 PM): it wouldnt matter...i wouldnt even know you were here, kieren... i dont want to die...but i dont want to be a vegtable....
X KIEREN X (10:06:05 PM): ::carefully brushes my lips against yours:: there's a higher chance of you living and not being a vegitable than it is being one...
xx readysteadygo (10:07:12 PM): i love you...i love you...more than i could ever love anyone else...
X KIEREN X (10:07:53 PM): i love you more than i've loved anyone ever ::looks into your eyes and whispering::
X KIEREN X (10:09:00 PM): you're going to be that statistical 3%, adrion, and then we'll be together forever...i promise
xx readysteadygo (10:10:50 PM): promise...-closes eyes, squeezing out tears and feeling them falling down my cheeks before i open my eyes again, staring into your eyes-
xx readysteadygo (10:11:40 PM): -hugs you as close to me as i can, the tape on the IVs in my hand crinkling-
X KIEREN X (10:12:58 PM): ::pulls you close, one arm around your back and the other around your head:: i'm going to be there for you, just like i said i would back in june
xx readysteadygo (10:14:49 PM): -nods, shaking again when i hear a knock at the door-
X KIEREN X (10:16:10 PM): doctor: ::opens the door and steps inside:: adrion...i have the ER ready now
xx readysteadygo (10:17:37 PM): -pulls back from you and nods to the doctor- can you...kier...can you call my mom...her numbers in my c-cell...i know...they won't care...but can you call them for me?
X KIEREN X (10:18:33 PM): ::nods and carefully places a slow, but passionate kiss on your lips, knowing that this may be the last time we're ever together::
xx readysteadygo (10:19:11 PM): -kisses back, just enjoying the feel of you near me, another tear sliding down my cheek and not wanting it to end-
X KIEREN X (10:19:36 PM): doctor: ::cough::
X KIEREN X (10:19:50 PM): (the doctor is a biggot)
xx readysteadygo (10:19:55 PM): [oki]
xx readysteadygo (10:20:11 PM): -pulls back and licks over my bottom lip, swallowing as i look up at you-
X KIEREN X (10:21:01 PM): ...::whispers:: i love you, adrion...don't let them take you from me...
xx readysteadygo (10:22:36 PM): i...i love you...kieren...-tochs your hand softly-
xx readysteadygo (10:22:50 PM): and i...i'll try...as hard as i can
xx readysteadygo (10:23:11 PM): -offers just barely a smile-
X KIEREN X (10:23:41 PM): ::doesn't smile...is too afraid to as a lump in my throat begins to form::
xx readysteadygo (10:24:20 PM): i'll....i'll see you when i get out...-gives your hand a small squeeze before i pull back-
X KIEREN X (10:24:42 PM): ::nods:: i'll be waiting for you
X KIEREN X (10:25:50 PM): doctor and nurses and assistants: ::begins rolling adrion's bed and medical instruments away::
xx readysteadygo (10:26:25 PM): -gives you one last look before i lay down, closing my eyes and trying not to see where i'm going, not wanting to see-
X KIEREN X (10:27:22 PM): ::goes out to the waiting room...and plays with this 4 year old girl that kristina wrote about today while at work for the next 10 hours while you're having your brain cut open::
xx readysteadygo (10:27:35 PM): [ewww]
X KIEREN X (10:28:05 PM): (the girl's name is janine...and kieren reads the lorax to her)
xx readysteadygo (10:28:10 PM): [aww]
X KIEREN X (10:28:26 PM): (and she walks up to him and is like "can i have one of your bracelettes?"
X KIEREN X (10:28:27 PM): )
xx readysteadygo (10:28:34 PM): [awwwwww]
xx readysteadygo (10:29:05 PM): -is out of surgery in 10 hours and alive, but comotose. doctors won't know about possible brain damange until i wake up. IF i do-
X KIEREN X (10:29:55 PM): ::is pulled away from cute little janine, who has been making kandi bracelettes with me for the last hour on the floor in the waiting room::
xx readysteadygo (10:30:52 PM): -in a room hooked up to all kinds of machines, bandage on head-
X KIEREN X (10:31:30 PM): ::walks in your room after the doctors have told me that you're alive, but in a coma, and sits down in the chair next to your bed and takes your hand in mine::
xx readysteadygo (10:32:38 PM): -looks like ass, barely stable like whoa-
X KIEREN X (10:33:48 PM): ::a few days later...very gross feeling because i have left your side ONLY to get a bottle of water and to relieve myself...and feeling a bit thinner than i was a few days ago...being as i've neglected food like whoa::
xx readysteadygo (10:35:30 PM): -takes a sharp breath of air, more activity than ive made in the last few days-
X KIEREN X (10:36:05 PM): ::doesn't notice, for the doctors have said that you might twitch or do things that seem that you're awake even though you're not::
xx readysteadygo (10:36:45 PM): -groans, moving just a little in the bed-
X KIEREN X (10:37:09 PM): ::looks up at you, hoping that you're awake:: adrion?
xx readysteadygo (10:38:28 PM): -my eyes open just a little as i swallow, throat dry, and have no fucking clue where i am-
X KIEREN X (10:39:06 PM): ::grasps your hand, staring into your eyes:: adrion...can you hear me?
xx readysteadygo (10:40:33 PM): w-where...am i...-searchs your eyes, a little scared-
X KIEREN X (10:41:07 PM): ::smiles, feeling tears begin to well up behind my eyes:: you're still in the hospital
xx readysteadygo (10:41:45 PM): i'm not...i'm not dead...? -a tone of fearinmy voice-
X KIEREN X (10:42:54 PM): ::carefully leans close in the chair next to your bed, pulling your hand up so i can kiss it:: i don't break promises, love
xx readysteadygo (10:44:29 PM): -brings my hand up to your cheek, smiling softly-
X KIEREN X (10:46:27 PM): ::whispers::...i've been so scared these past few days...
xx readysteadygo (10:47:48 PM): i didnt stop dreaming about y-you...-swallowing thickly-
X KIEREN X (10:48:07 PM): really?
xx readysteadygo (10:49:03 PM): -nods slowly- i don't remember anything else...
X KIEREN X (10:49:34 PM): (does he not remember the dreams?)
xx readysteadygo (10:50:33 PM): [no, he means he doesnt reemember anything like...if he thought about anything else, he doesnt remember it... so he says hes been thinking about nothing but kier]
X KIEREN X (10:50:44 PM): (okay)
X KIEREN X (10:50:57 PM): tell me about your dreams?
xx readysteadygo (10:52:07 PM): -smiles softly- you kept... telling me everything would be alright... and we were... we were in your flat... and you were just... you were holding me...
X KIEREN X (10:52:27 PM): ::smiles::
xx readysteadygo (10:53:34 PM): how many days...? -bites my lip a little, which is chapped-
X KIEREN X (10:53:49 PM): six...
xx readysteadygo (10:54:21 PM): -nods just a little, looking outside- i want to go home...
X KIEREN X (10:55:00 PM): ::smiles:: should i fetch the doctor?
xx readysteadygo (10:58:21 PM): p-please...-smiles again, laying back against the bed-
X KIEREN X (10:58:50 PM): ::kisses your hand before i get the doctor, telling him that you're awake and seem to be perfectly fine::
xx readysteadygo (8:30:11 AM): xx readysteadygo (11:00:34 PM): -watches you go, staring out the window at the blue sky, back of my mind wondering where my parents are and if they cared enough to come-
X KIEREN X (8:33:00 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::sees kieren coming out of the hospital room and back into the waiting room, meaning that i can see my son (being as hospitals suck and only allow one visitor at a time and kieren has been in there for 6 days strait) and stands up and goes into your room::
xx readysteadygo (8:34:01 AM): -looks down at my hands at the ivs there and swallows, wishing i could just go home already-
X KIEREN X (8:34:30 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::stands in the doorway looking at you:: i see you've woken up
xx readysteadygo (8:34:58 AM): -looks up and bites my lip- you came?
X KIEREN X (8:35:47 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::enters room, all professional-like, and stands next to your bed:: i was threatened to come
X KIEREN X (8:36:00 AM): ('cause kier's a dick)
xx readysteadygo (8:36:15 AM): he had to threaten you for you to come?
X KIEREN X (8:37:07 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::curls lip upwards:: i had things i had to do back home
xx readysteadygo (8:37:53 AM): -looks down at my blanket and picks at the material absent mindedly- more important than being there to see if your son died or not?
X KIEREN X (8:39:30 AM): Mrs. Greene: we have an important case that we were working on. we might even have to take it to the state supreme court...you wouldn't understand...and besides, i trust the doctors; they're some of the best in the world here
xx readysteadygo (8:41:26 AM): -can feel tears well up, hating you more now that you're here than i did when you weren't- it shouldnt matter to you anyways, should it? you shipped me off to school when you knew what was happening to me. you and dad kept pretending nothing was wrong. you trust the doctors with 3%, mother? because i was really fucking sure i was going to die when i went in there...
X KIEREN X (8:41:53 AM): Mrs. Greene: well, you didn't
X KIEREN X (8:42:33 AM): Mrs. Greene: your father and i do not have the time to give you the attention you need and you know it
xx readysteadygo (8:42:58 AM): -looks up at her, eyes red and tears down my cheeks- fuck you. alright? i don't need you. i don't even know why i asked kier to call you. guess i expected too much of you.
X KIEREN X (8:43:23 AM): Mrs. Greene: i came, didn't i?
xx readysteadygo (8:43:58 AM): you came because you were worried youd have a dead son on your concious, mother. not because you wanted to see me make it.
X KIEREN X (8:44:52 AM): Mrs. Greene: either or, it doesn't matter; your father would still be paying the medical bills
xx readysteadygo (8:47:33 AM): get.out.
xx readysteadygo (8:47:51 AM): -biting back a sob-
X KIEREN X (8:48:01 AM): Mrs. Greene: why should i?
xx readysteadygo (8:48:34 AM): if all i am to you is a few figures on your bills, i don't want you here.
X KIEREN X (8:48:49 AM): Mrs. Greene: i never said that
xx readysteadygo (8:48:58 AM): yes. you did.
xx readysteadygo (8:49:26 AM): you're a heartless bitch. i don't...-sucks in a shaky breath- just get the fuck out.
X KIEREN X (8:49:58 AM): Mrs. Greene: a heartless bitch? how dare you! you know your father and i love you and want what's best for you
xx readysteadygo (8:50:51 AM): whats best for me is parents that actually care...now GET OUT and would you tell my boyfriend I'd like to see him, i'd much rather have someone who cares in here.
X KIEREN X (8:51:08 AM): Mrs. Greene: boyfriend?!
xx readysteadygo (8:51:21 AM): BOYFRIEND.
X KIEREN X (8:51:36 AM): Mrs. Greene: what do you mean 'boyfriend'?!
xx readysteadygo (8:52:05 AM): i mean someone who LOVES me. My. Boyfriend.
X KIEREN X (8:52:21 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::glares at you:: don't lie to me
xx readysteadygo (8:52:36 AM): what do you mean LIE?
X KIEREN X (8:53:14 AM): Mrs. Greene: i mean don't make up these silly stories that you know aren't true; your father and i did not raise you to sleep with boys. i won't have a fag for a son
xx readysteadygo (8:53:41 AM): you and father didnt raise me at all.
xx readysteadygo (8:53:54 AM): i guess i might as well be dead to you then.
X KIEREN X (8:54:48 AM): Mrs. Greene: well, you were close enough the other day. maybe you should have just died; you were a mistake anyway
xx readysteadygo (8:56:23 AM): -shakes my head- KIEREN loves me. KIEREN is the only reason i'm still here. now, i'll ask you again before i have to call for someone. GET THE FUCK OUT. -screams at you, face red-
X KIEREN X (8:56:46 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::slaps you:: don't you dare speak to me like that!
xx readysteadygo (8:57:43 AM): i... will speak to you... however i want...
X KIEREN X (8:58:18 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::slaps you again before storming out of the room:: don't expect us to pay for your bills after this!
xx readysteadygo (8:58:28 AM): FUCK OFF, BITCH.
xx readysteadygo (8:58:41 AM): -is shaking, arms wrapped around myself-
X KIEREN X (8:58:49 AM): Mrs. Greene: ::yells:: FAGGOT! ::from down the hall::
xx readysteadygo (8:59:09 AM): -presses the button for the nurse people-
xx readysteadygo (9:00:52 AM): -nurse comes in, i ask her to get me Kieren. she nods, apparently knowing who i mean, and disappears. finds you in the waiting room- Nurse: Adrion would like to see you.
X KIEREN X (9:02:02 AM): ::nods, watching as your mom huffs out of the initial hospital and storms out the door; i look at my mum, who is sitting next to me (she came to see you, too), before getting up and going back to your room::
xx readysteadygo (9:02:53 AM): -can't stop myself from crying for the 100th time since this started, looking down at my blanket like its going to do tricks, a hatred ripping through me worse than ever before-
X KIEREN X (9:04:03 AM): ::enters your room and sits down on the bed and gently brushes the tears off your face before pulling you in my arms:: don't cry...please, don't cry, adrion
xx readysteadygo (4:36:30 PM): X KIEREN X: you should have ignored him
X KIEREN X: why do you care what other people think?
xx readysteadygo: i dont, but that doesnt give him a right to start shit
xx readysteadygo: es mierda estúpida del toro.
X KIEREN X (4:36:50 PM): what was that?
xx readysteadygo (4:38:26 PM): ¡Nada! ¿Podemos justo conseguir al cuarto, por favor? -frustration in my voice-
X KIEREN X (4:39:01 PM): ::rolls eyes:: you know, i haven't a clue as to what you're saying
xx readysteadygo (4:39:32 PM): usted debe aprender.
xx readysteadygo (4:39:47 PM): -opens the door for the hotel-
X KIEREN X (4:39:58 PM): ::shakes head and smiles::
xx readysteadygo (4:42:09 PM): ¿Podemos ahora coger? ¿Por favor? -as we get to the door to the room, sliding the key in the lock and opening it-
X KIEREN X (4:43:13 PM): whatever you just said...fine
xx readysteadygo (4:43:32 PM): Bueno.
xx readysteadygo (4:46:07 PM): -grins and steps forward into you as the door shuts behind us, wrapping my arms around your neck- Deseo al vete a la mierda de largo y difícilmente. -giggles-
X KIEREN X (4:48:37 PM): ::pushes you up against the wall slightly as i grab your hips in my hands and press my lips to yous
X KIEREN X (4:48:41 PM): yours*::
xx readysteadygo (4:49:00 PM): ¿Es usted seguro usted no sabe español?
xx readysteadygo (4:49:09 PM): -whispers, kissing you back intently-
X KIEREN X (4:49:40 PM): stoppppppp!! no hablo espanol!
xx readysteadygo (4:50:30 PM): Préféreriez-vous le français ? Je peux faire le français.
xx readysteadygo (4:51:27 PM): -squeezes my legs around yours and grins against your lips-
X KIEREN X (4:52:11 PM): J'aime le français... mais je pense que je préférerais l'anglais hors des trois choix que j'ai.
xx readysteadygo (4:53:07 PM): Je ne peux pas vous faire l'amour dans une langue différente ? Je pense qui serait amusement.
X KIEREN X (4:53:45 PM): aucun... pas ce soir...
xx readysteadygo (4:54:31 PM): Pourquoi pas ? -pulls back, pouting a little, and trails my fingers over your bottom lip-J'aime vous embrasser.
X KIEREN X (4:55:30 PM): because, adrion...i'm not in a french mood tonighty
X KIEREN X (4:55:33 PM): t
X KIEREN X (4:56:32 PM): maybe one day we can walk along the beaches of normandy and speak french the entire time...but tonight...::shakes head::
xx readysteadygo (4:58:52 PM): -leans close to your ear and kisses at it- Je t'aime.
X KIEREN X (5:03:11 PM): je t'aime aussi ::pulls close, pressing you against the door with a grin::
xx readysteadygo (5:05:14 PM): Pouvons-nous nous déplacer au lit ?

X KIEREN X (5:11:20 PM): ::laughs, pulling at your hips as i begin to step backwards::
xx readysteadygo (5:12:14 PM): -walks quickly over to the bed, pushing you down on the bed and crawling up on your lap- Ainsi je peux vous faire l'amour, oui?
X KIEREN X (5:12:55 PM): naturellement
xx readysteadygo (5:13:28 PM): -grins and kisses at your neck, my hands roughly rubbing up your shirt and over your bare chest-
X KIEREN X (5:18:35 PM): ::bends one of my knees, my shoe coming up on the bed and my leg on the side of your body as i smile::
xx readysteadygo (5:20:45 PM): -reachs back and pulls off your shoes, grinning before i return my hands, this time pulling your shirt over your head-
X KIEREN X (5:22:37 PM): ::slowly reaches under the waistband of your pants, grasping at the material as i reach for your lips with my own::
xx readysteadygo (5:23:33 PM): -whispers softly before you do- Puisque je ne peux pas le parler, est-ce que je peux néanmoins penser en français et ne pas dire un mot du tout? -grins and kisses your lips softly-
X KIEREN X (5:25:09 PM): ::chuckles before pulling your shirt off:: if you wish...
xx readysteadygo (5:27:39 PM): -lifts my arms as you do, biting on your lower lip lightly as i undo your pants-
X KIEREN X (5:28:57 PM): ::pushes your pants down:: - you're too thin - :: and pulls you up a little, running my hands up your bare back::
xx readysteadygo (5:29:54 PM): -frowns for a moment before replacing it with a smile- not my fault...you know how i eat...-gets both your pants and boxzers down completly-
X KIEREN X (5:30:49 PM): ::smiles:: yeah...you devour everything you see...::moves hands up your neck::
xx readysteadygo (5:37:48 PM): mm...exactly my point...-grins and ghosts my hand over your hipbone-
X KIEREN X (5:39:01 PM): ::reaches for your hand and pulls up to kiss you again::
xx readysteadygo (5:40:26 PM): Deseo que podría decirle todo. -whispers this, my hand lightly touching your inner thigh-
xx readysteadygo (5:40:52 PM): [Deseo que podría decirle todo.=I wish I could tell you everything.]
X KIEREN X (5:41:18 PM): (is that spanish?)
xx readysteadygo (5:41:22 PM): [yes]
X KIEREN X (5:42:14 PM): (okay)
X KIEREN X (5:42:46 PM): ::looks up at you:: it's rude to speak in other languages that your lover can't understand
xx readysteadygo (5:44:46 PM): -ignores that comment, tilting my head down to lick at your left nipple, my groin rubbing against yours-
X KIEREN X (5:45:50 PM): ::closes eyes and gives a soft moan, pressing my hips up slightly::
xx readysteadygo (5:46:51 PM): -presses down against you, holding you to the bed as i swirl my toungue over the skin, humming-
X KIEREN X (5:48:00 PM): ::cringes, but in a good way, lifting one arm over my head and my other hand into your hair::
xx readysteadygo (5:49:15 PM): -reachs my one arm up, my forearm pressing to yours and my fingers intwining with yours-
X KIEREN X (5:49:46 PM): ::whispers:: god adrion, i love you...
xx readysteadygo (5:50:39 PM): Te amo más que usted puede saber siempre. -whispers, my breath ghosting across your skin as i squeeze your hand, the other trailing down your right side-
xx readysteadygo (5:50:49 PM): [I love you more than you can ever know.]
xx readysteadygo (5:51:27 PM): [could-]
X KIEREN X (5:52:21 PM): ::twists your fingers, my fingers moving over yours as i buck up; is extremely impaitient tonight, but enjoys you torturing me::
xx readysteadygo (5:53:14 PM): -grins and pulls my lips off of you, scooting up and whispering above your lips- you want me now, don't you? -reachs down and grasps you lightly in my hand-
X KIEREN X (5:54:05 PM): ::soft moan as i nod my head::
xx readysteadygo (6:37:47 PM): -gives you a small, short kiss on your lips, traveling down your body so that i'm sitting between your legs, spreading them a little more-
X KIEREN X (6:38:50 PM): ::lightly moves my hand downwards, my fingers trailing your skin until i cup your ass in my hand::
xx readysteadygo (6:39:39 PM): -flattens my toungue up the underside of your cock, slowly to the tip, fingers massaging your inner thigh-
X KIEREN X (6:40:44 PM): ::inhails a sharp breath before bucking up slightly::
xx readysteadygo (6:41:38 PM): -kisses the tip of your cock softly, my mouth open just a little before i pull back and part your ass cheeks-
X KIEREN X (6:42:07 PM): ::smirks, anxiously waiting::
xx readysteadygo (6:42:45 PM): -grins and brings two fingers up to your mouth, lightly pressing them inside in a mock blow job-
X KIEREN X (6:43:19 PM): ::licks your fingers, wetting them with my saliva; my eyes are peacefully closed::
xx readysteadygo (6:44:14 PM): -touchs my fingertips to your tounge with a low moan, watching your face as i pull them away, bringing them down and thrusting them inside of your as far as they will go-
X KIEREN X (6:44:57 PM): ::jerks upwards in pleasure, groaning loudly and grasping your hand in mine::
xx readysteadygo (6:45:53 PM): -leans down, my chest brushing yours just barely- god... -pulls them out and thrusts them back in, observing you- you...are so fucking tight...-twists fingers-
X KIEREN X (6:46:59 PM): ::looks up at you:: mmm...adrion...
xx readysteadygo (6:47:59 PM): -smiles down at you, removing my fingers and grasping myself, pressing my tip to your entrance just barely before pulling back and doing it again, pulling back another time, teasing you-
X KIEREN X signed off at 6:48:37 PM.