X KIEREN X (1:46:43 AM): ::end of may/beginning of june::
X KIEREN X (1:47:40 AM): ::in my bed, a saturday morning, after we partied all night long::
xx readysteadygo (1:51:57 AM): -snuggled up to you, my hair dyed black now and a little shorter cut {cuz i say so}-
X KIEREN X (1:52:55 AM): ::is gently stroking your face with my hand::
xx readysteadygo (1:54:00 AM): -sighs softly, not waking up just yet and moving a little closer to you-
X KIEREN X (1:54:37 AM): ::watches you sleep, wondering if i'll be able to keep you forever::
xx readysteadygo (1:54:54 AM): mmm...kier...that tickles...
X KIEREN X (1:55:05 AM): ::smiles, kissing your forehead::
xx readysteadygo (1:55:26 AM): -smiles lazily and opens my eyes alittle-
X KIEREN X (1:55:50 AM): ::gazes into your eyes:: good morning
xx readysteadygo (1:56:38 AM): -stretchs my arms a little- you to...-kisses your cheek lightly-
X KIEREN X (1:57:34 AM): ::gently moves my hand down your chest:: i love waking up with you next to me...
xx readysteadygo (1:58:24 AM): i love that you love waking up next to me...-tucks my head under your chin-
X KIEREN X (1:58:48 AM): ::wraps my arm around you and holding you close::
X KIEREN X (1:58:58 AM): i dreamt about you
xx readysteadygo (1:59:15 AM): really? -quietly- what was it about
X KIEREN X (1:59:27 AM): ::smirks::
X KIEREN X (1:59:57 AM): well, it started out like this...::moves to kiss your lips::
xx readysteadygo (2:01:33 AM): -grins and leans forward a little, kissing you back-
X KIEREN X (2:02:32 AM): ::deepens the kiss as I climb on top of you::
xx readysteadygo (2:03:38 AM): -puts my arms up and over your shoulders, spreading my legs a little as you do and moving my lips against yours slowly-
X KIEREN X (2:04:01 AM): (they naked already?)
xx readysteadygo (2:04:56 AM): [yup]
X KIEREN X (2:06:55 AM): ::brushes my cock against yours lightly::
xx readysteadygo (2:07:23 AM): mm...why do you have to do this to me so early? -laughs a little, my hands going down your sides-
X KIEREN X (2:07:41 AM): i can stop if you want me to...
xx readysteadygo (2:08:11 AM): -cups your ass and presses you into me-
X KIEREN X (2:08:49 AM): (into him physically or like, pulling him closer?)
xx readysteadygo (2:09:14 AM): [grind]
X KIEREN X (2:09:26 AM): (okay thanks)
X KIEREN X (2:11:01 AM): ::smirks, feeling myself become hard::
xx readysteadygo (2:11:55 AM): -leans my head back against the pillow- mm...i never get tired of this...
X KIEREN X (2:12:47 AM): mm...i love you...
xx readysteadygo (2:13:32 AM): -grins, trailing my fingers softly up and down your back-
X KIEREN X (2:14:40 AM): ::kissing you as i grind against you; it's too early to have any real sex::
X KIEREN X (2:15:04 AM): ::and we just did two hours ago when we came in::
xx readysteadygo (2:17:24 AM): -smiles, my tongue across yours-
X KIEREN X (2:18:31 AM): ::slowly tastes you, my fingers grazing the back of your neck::
xx readysteadygo (2:19:34 AM): -bucks my hips up against yours, moving in a slow circle against your groin-
X KIEREN X (2:20:20 AM): ::laughs a little as i thrust my hips into yours::
xx readysteadygo (2:21:20 AM): -feels a panicky feeling grip at my heart as my eyes close, a searing pain ripping through my head and tears immedietly coming to my eyes- k-kier...
X KIEREN X (2:21:53 AM): ::looks up, seeing your tears and stop:: adrion?
X KIEREN X (2:22:24 AM): ::whispers:: whats wrong?
xx readysteadygo (2:22:50 AM): i t-think...we should stop...-breathes out shakily, eyes clenched tight-
xx readysteadygo (2:23:23 AM): it..it hurts...-brings a hand up to my head-
X KIEREN X (2:23:28 AM): ::blinks before climbing off you and laying next to you, taking your hand in mine::
X KIEREN X (2:24:11 AM): what hurts? ::worried now, my voice shaking with fear::
xx readysteadygo (2:25:14 AM): -turns on my side, my breathy coming in short gasps as i curl up to myself, head down and hand at my forehead-
xx readysteadygo (2:25:36 AM): breath-
X KIEREN X (2:25:47 AM): ::does not know what to do:: should i call a doctor?
xx readysteadygo (2:26:26 AM): -shakes my head fiercly, tears on my cheeks-
X KIEREN X (2:26:48 AM): did i...did i hurt you?
xx readysteadygo (2:27:27 AM): n-no....-can feel the pain creep into the back of my neck, wincing in pain-
X KIEREN X (2:27:57 AM): ::gently moves my arms around your stomach and pulls close to you::
xx readysteadygo (2:28:19 AM): -is shaking in your arms-
X KIEREN X (2:29:12 AM): ::reaches for one of your hands, not knowing what else to do::
xx readysteadygo (2:29:55 AM): -is practically sobbing and saying that it hurts-
X KIEREN X (2:30:29 AM): should i get you something? something warm to drink?
xx readysteadygo (2:31:24 AM): n-no...it's...it has to go away....on its own...
X KIEREN X (2:32:24 AM): ::nods, holding you in my arms with a feeling of helplessness surging through me::
xx readysteadygo (2:32:56 AM): -breathes out a little shakily, still shivering a little in your arms as it starts fading away-
X KIEREN X (2:33:47 AM): ::says nothing as i hold you, unsure of what to do or say::
xx readysteadygo (2:34:18 AM): -shakily squeezes your hand in mine in a small thanks-
X KIEREN X (2:34:59 AM): ::breathes against your neck, my thumb rubbing over your hand::
X KIEREN X (2:35:41 AM): are you...are you okay?
X KIEREN X (2:37:45 AM): adrion?
xx readysteadygo (2:39:39 AM): -nods my head slowly- i'm f-fine....
X KIEREN X (2:40:19 AM): ...what was that?
xx readysteadygo (2:41:05 AM): -swallows- it...nothing
X KIEREN X (2:42:01 AM): adrion...::pulls you to turn around and look at me::...i normally wouldn't press the issue...but...you scared me so much...
xx readysteadygo (2:42:23 AM): i..i'm s-sorry....
X KIEREN X (2:42:58 AM): tell me what happened...? so i won't let it happen again
xx readysteadygo (2:43:28 AM): -swallows, not looking at you- it doesnt...have anything to do with you....
X KIEREN X (2:44:17 AM): ::touches your face:: adrion...what if it happens again?
X KIEREN X (2:44:55 AM): what am i supposed to do?
xx readysteadygo (2:46:23 AM): just...w-what you did...k-kieren...-snuggles up close to you-
xx readysteadygo (2:46:46 AM): you can't do...anything...
X KIEREN X (2:46:59 AM): why not?
X KIEREN X (2:48:32 AM): how often does this happen?
xx readysteadygo (2:49:19 AM): -shakes my head, feeling tears down my cheeks- not...not that often....i havent... not for a week...
X KIEREN X (2:49:44 AM): a week? adrion...what's wrong?
xx readysteadygo (2:50:21 AM): -swallows- i didnt...it just keeps getting worse... i didnt want to have to tell you
xx readysteadygo (2:50:33 AM): i thought it would...go away....
X KIEREN X (2:50:40 AM): what would?
X KIEREN X (2:51:39 AM): if it keeps getting worse, you should see someone...you should tell someone...
xx readysteadygo (2:52:25 AM): i h-have been...since last november...
X KIEREN X (2:52:46 AM): ::looks at you::
X KIEREN X (2:54:09 AM): why didn't you tell me, love?
X KIEREN X (2:54:33 AM): i don't...i don't want to watch you hurt
xx readysteadygo (2:55:50 AM): i...i didnt want you to worry...theyve been treating me...i didnt think it would...be around...
X KIEREN X (2:56:17 AM): treating you for what exactly?
xx readysteadygo (2:57:05 AM): i...tumor... when i was 16...they found something...but they got it in time...but it came back...-my voice quiet-
X KIEREN X (2:57:52 AM): ::says nothing for a moment, my eyes shifting to the side as i wrap my arms around you and pull you close::
xx readysteadygo (2:58:55 AM): i thought...it would go away...i mean...if it did before...
xx readysteadygo (2:59:23 AM): they've been watching me...since i found out...
X KIEREN X (3:00:50 AM): ::kisses your forehead softly::
X KIEREN X (3:01:25 AM): ::whispers:: everything will work out...
X KIEREN X (3:01:48 AM): i promise, adrion...
xx readysteadygo (3:02:24 AM): it was never...this bad...last time...-buries my face against your chest- i just wanted... i tried everything to get them to just bring me home...
X KIEREN X (3:03:05 AM): ::holds you, trying to make you as content as possible::
xx readysteadygo (3:03:52 AM): and then they just...they moved me out of my school...away from my friends...so i wouldn't... -swallows-
X KIEREN X (3:04:10 AM): ...wouldn't what?
xx readysteadygo (3:04:40 AM): so id stop trying...to hurt myself...stop the drugs...partying whenever i could...
xx readysteadygo (3:05:13 AM): -laughs just a little-
X KIEREN X (3:05:58 AM): ::sighs::
xx readysteadygo (3:07:09 AM): they dont get...what thats like...to be shipped off and have some nurses look after you...when you could be at home...they think... that i can just got through everything like normal
X KIEREN X (3:08:56 AM): ::nods, letting out a sigh as I listen to you::
xx readysteadygo (3:09:49 AM): i didnt want to scare you off
X KIEREN X (3:10:09 AM): ::laughs:: you're not going to scare me off
X KIEREN X (3:10:59 AM): i love you...i love everything about you...no matter what
xx readysteadygo (3:11:49 AM): if i had told you... when we started talking... would this of happened?
X KIEREN X (3:12:27 AM): ::smiles:: i wouldn't have let it affect my feelings for you, if that's what you mean
xx readysteadygo (3:13:01 AM): -looks up at you with a small smile, swallowing thickly and feeling tired-
X KIEREN X (3:14:07 AM): ::presses my forehead against yours:: i guess we both had things about us that we were afraid to tell, eh?
xx readysteadygo (3:15:33 AM): -nods a little, looking into your eyes and then closing mine with a shaky sign-
xx readysteadygo (3:15:34 AM): sigh-
X KIEREN X (3:15:50 AM): ...i love you...
xx readysteadygo (3:17:20 AM): i...i know...i love you to, kieren...
X KIEREN X (3:18:15 AM): ::nods, holding you close in my arms::
xx readysteadygo (3:22:32 AM): -sighs & kisses your neck softly-
X KIEREN X (3:23:48 AM): ::nuzzles your face and then begins to kiss your tears away::
xx readysteadygo (3:25:38 AM): -quietly- t-thank you...
X KIEREN X (3:26:08 AM): i'll be here for you, you know
xx readysteadygo (3:26:32 AM): -sighs, in relief- i..i know...
X KIEREN X (3:26:57 AM): every moment...
xx readysteadygo (3:27:32 AM): i...i wishyou could be...
X KIEREN X (3:27:39 AM): i will be
X KIEREN X (3:27:43 AM): i'll make it so that i am
X KIEREN X (3:28:58 AM): no matter what
xx readysteadygo (3:29:55 AM): -smiles and brings my hand softly up and down ur side-
X KIEREN X (3:32:38 AM): ...if you want me to be
xx readysteadygo (3:32:56 AM): i want you...to be...

X KIEREN X (3:35:13 AM): ...then i will be
xx readysteadygo (3:38:45 AM): -puts my arm over your side, hugging you softly to me-